seeking advice

[-carrie_]

vent

hi, i'm 16mtf, and my dysphoria has been really bad lately. every time i look in the mirror, i start crying because i hate what i see. i want to start hrt or blockers so badly, but my mom won't let me, so i'm stuck waiting at least two more years. it hurts even more when i see other trans girls who are able to transition sooner-i can't help but feel left behind. i'm terrified of my face masculinizing , and every day, it feels like i'm getting further from the person i want to be. i just feel so helpless. if anyone has advice I'd rlly appreciate it ❤️

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Carrie.

I know it's hard to be patient.  Hang in there!  It is only two years until you can make those decisions for yourself.

It is true that the younger you start, the better the results.  But even at 18, you will be ahead of most trans women.  I started HRT at 62!

I am glad you joined us here, because this is a great place to meet people like yourself and to get advice.

Regards,
Kathy

[Lori Dee]

Hello Carrie,

I'm Lori Dee. Welcome to Susan's Place!

Thank you for joining the forum.

We strive to make this a safe place to find information and share your thoughts and comments. We have a specific forum called Youth Talk where our younger members can discuss these issues. You are not obligated to stick to that forum. Feel free to read and comment in any of the forums.

As Kathy pointed out, you are still young, and hormones take a long time to take effect. Even without blockers, you are in no danger of becoming too masculine to transition later. Like Kathy, I started after I turned 60. Two years will seem like a long time now, but it will pass quickly. There are other things you can work on in the meantime. If you are working, start saving money. If you get an opportunity to get a better job, especially one with insurance benefits, go for it. We have a forum called Employment Opportunities, where members discuss trans-friendly employers. Just keep your eye on your goal and keep working toward it at every opportunity. There will be obstacles, but you will find ways around them.

We want to get to know you. Once you feel comfortable here, please feel free to stop by the Introductions Forum, introduce yourself, and tell us something about you.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL-AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

I will add some links here that are important for new members. Pay special attention to the links in RED.

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~ Lori Dee
Forum Staff

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@-carrie_
@Sarah B
@Northern Star Girl

[Maid Marion]

There is a lot to learn if you want to socialize as a female, such as finding fashion styles that look good on you.  Discovering what colors work best with your skin tone.  You can do that now.

Older MTFs often have to unlearn male mannerisms.  The head nod is normally done between two males.

[-carrie_]

thx for the help everyone ❤️

[Gina P]

Carrie,
  Transitioning is a waiting game. Hang in there. You can help your dysphoria now by doing small things like wearing jewelry, letting your hair grow out, adopting female mannerisms, working on your voice, even wearing of more feminine or gender neutral clothing. I agree that 16 would be ideal time to start but 18 isn't bad either. Mom cant stop you from walking, talking and acting like a girl now, and it might make her see that you are serious about this. Hang in there a lifetime of being yourself awaits.
Hugs Gina

[Sephirah]

vent

hi, i'm 16mtf, and my dysphoria has been really bad lately. every time i look in the mirror, i start crying because i hate what i see. i want to start hrt or blockers so badly, but my mom won't let me, so i'm stuck waiting at least two more years. it hurts even more when i see other trans girls who are able to transition sooner-i can't help but feel left behind. i'm terrified of my face masculinizing , and every day, it feels like i'm getting further from the person i want to be. i just feel so helpless. if anyone has advice I'd rlly appreciate it ❤️

Look at it the other way round, sweetie. Every day you're getting closer to the person you want to be. Every day is one day closer. Whatever happens. Keep that in your mind and focus on it. It won't be long before you get to make the choices. Hold onto that. Let it drive you. Use the time until you can to prepare for what those choices will entail. Do the prep so when you get to hit the ground, you can hit the ground running. Don't spend it feeling powerless, use it to enable your life once you get to be in charge of it.

*hugs*

And never forget you aren't going through this alone. You're beautiful regardless. Because you just are.

[Sinclair]

There is a lot to learn if you want to socialize as a female, such as finding fashion styles that look good on you.  Discovering what colors work best with your skin tone.  You can do that now.

Older MTFs often have to unlearn male mannerisms.  The head nod is normally done between two males.

It's good advice. I would expand on that saying that in her situation find a private mirror and start letting the girl out. Some other things you can do now. Cis females stand, walk, move in certain ways. Start to practice these differences. Cis males tend to stand upright with their legs straight and arms free. This is a defensive or even fighting posture. Cis females tend to stand with one leg relaxed, keen bent, and one leg straight. Also, one arm bent with their hand on their hip. The point being it's a non threatening appearance. Also, the walk is different. Cis females tend to walk a bit slower and with one arm swinging in rhythm with the walk. Cis males tend to walk a bit faster with less arm movement. Now, none of this is 100 percent, but is generally true. So, something you can do now is practice these things. Good luck and best wishes.

[kat2]

Hi Carrie,
        Finding the real you comes from the heart, the way you express yourself, and how society reflects that back. For me most of my young life i was asked if i was a girl so something was emanating from me subconsciously, try if you have not already letting your hair grow longer, even colour it, look after your health and try and think things through, such as what sort of job you would like to train for? what friends do you have. I feminised quiet well even though i transitioned in my twenties

[henrychan]

Just chill, don't rush... Do not put pressure on yourself, enjoy the transitions, and your time will come

[Annaliese]

Welcome Carrie, there is so much good advice here. Like most have said look for things you can do in the time you have to prepare yourself. It is never too late. Your time will come, and you will be that more prepared. My circumstances were not presented to me to be who I was until the age of 66. I have recently started my journey.  I know this 2 years seems forever and a day away. But as you prepare for the time you reach your 18th bday it will seem like yesterday. You will have many days ahead of you to blossom 🌸  into the woman you are meant to be. We all as transgender Woman learn patience is guided by a lot of lessons in many ups abd downs, but the effort is worth every ounce of energy.Hang in there.

[Sinclair]

Welcome Carrie, there is so much good advice here. Like most have said look for things you can do in the time you have to prepare yourself. It is never too late. Your time will come, and you will be that more prepared. My circumstances were not presented to me to be who I was until the age of 66. I have recently started my journey.  I know this 2 years seems forever and a day away. But as you prepare for the time you reach your 18th bday it will seem like yesterday. You will have many days ahead of you to blossom 🌸  into the woman you are meant to be. We all as transgender Woman learn patience is guided by a lot of lessons in many ups abd downs, but the effort is worth every ounce of energy.Hang in there.

It is a journey that can be difficult. For me, learning to be comfortable in my own skin was very important. I know this sounds simple, but when you can look in a mirror and smile ... you're on the right track. I mean a real smile ... that's what keeps me moving forward -- just a simple smile --

[ChrissyRyan]

Welcome Carrie!

Chrissy

[Lexxi]

Hi Carrie,

Welcome to the group. The others gave you a lot of good advice. One of the things I'd suggest working on is people watching. I used to watch female all the time, not in a creepy way, but more like a scientist studying them. I think that's why I was able to pick up a female walk fairly quickly.

I also listened to their speech patterns a lot too so when it was time for voice training I'd already have those mannerisms down pat.

So I recommend using the next two years to study, study, study. You can also start researching the gender therapist you want to go to, and try to find a good gender doctor too so you'll be able to get started on hormones as quickly after you turn 18 as possible (if that's what you want to do of course).

It would also be a good idea to start saving as much money as possible. Transition is very expensive, and if you're going to be having bottom surgery then you'll want to get started on hair removal as soon as possible too because that sometimes takes a long time to complete.

It took me a year of weekly one hour visits to get mine completely removed.

So you really have a lot of preparation to do. These are things you can do before your 18th birthday. Oh and one more thing you can start preparing the paperwork to change your name and figure out what all you'll have to do to change that in your state.

Hang in there though....the time really will fly.

Lexxi