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Is being trangender really at risk in USA ?

Started by Roberta_Italy, April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AM

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Roberta_Italy

Hi friends,
as some of you already know, I'm italian (italian passport), i trave time by time to US (but I've mssing for a while) and I can only figure out how the situation is from press and from what I read in this Forum.
I still have all my ID's with M gender mark and masculine name, even though the photos show something like a "neutral" gender, which represents me quite well without make up.

Currently, even though i tie my hair, remove the make up and wear casual (like jeans and t-shirt) I still look quite feminine (let's say 60% would address me as madam, 40% as sir).

I should be travelling to Texas (apparently one of the worst states to go to, being a transgender) this summer for business reasons and I am seeking for advice about how to behave.

Can I be free to present myself as a female, or should I "disguise" myself and try and pass as a (someow feminine) male?   
WHat about bathroom? do I really risk to be arrested if female ones ? only in state owned premises (e.g. airport) or also in other places like restaurants, malls ?

Please, give me any advice, as I am really scared and I don't really know if I'd better give up to travelling or coming and present myself as a male which really hurts me (as you can very well understand) .

thanks for any support

Roberta

Mrs. Oliphant

Quote from: Roberta_Italy on April 14, 2025, 09:24:46 AMhanks for any support
Hi Roberta. I live in Montana, which is probably a lot like Texas just not as big. If you were traveling to Missoula or Bozeman, Montana. No one would even notice you. Just about anywhere else in the state? You might be well advised to hire a bodyguard (police escort won't help; they're among the greatest threats) Hope that helps. I've been to Texas. And so much of it is so beautiful. Be safe.
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Maid Marion

https://www.refugerestrooms.org/
Here is a directory of bathrooms for transgenders.

Last time I went traveling most of the time I just went back to my hotel room.

Lori Dee

I can't speak for the situation in Texas, but when going through Customs at the airport, I would suggest that you look as shown on your passport. Where people run into trouble is if their gender marker has an X, or if they present differently from what their passport shows. If your passport shows M, then my advice would be to travel as an M. Once you leave the airport, the risks decrease... but are never zero.
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ChrissyRyan

I have not experienced anything bad that is out of line from the past.


Chrissy


Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman. 

Sarah B

Hi Everyone

The following is a map of America and it assesses how safe each state is.

It is provided by "Erin in the Morning"

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.

KathyLauren

My identification, including birth certificate and passport, have all been updated, so I am an F everywhere.  But from my understanding of the situation now in the US, I am not admissible, because I was born as an M. 

They would have no way of knowing that, since all my documentation is in order, but I am not 100% passable.  If they suspected I was trans, I would be detained.  In the men's jail of course.  Supposedly, my original birth certificate is sealed and only accessible on a need-to-know basis.  But maybe a US Customs officer has a need to know.  At which point, if I was lucky, I wold be sent back home.  If I was unlucky, I could be sent to a concentration camp.

It is so not worth it that nothing would get me to travel to the US.
2015-07-04 Awakening; 2015-11-15 Out to self; 2016-06-22 Out to wife; 2016-10-27 First time presenting in public; 2017-01-20 Started HRT!!; 2017-04-20 Out publicly; 2017-07-10 Legal name change; 2019-02-15 Approval for GRS; 2019-08-02 Official gender change; 2020-03-11 GRS; 2020-09-17 New birth certificate

Mrs. Oliphant

Quote from: KathyLauren on April 14, 2025, 04:59:15 PMIt is so not worth it that nothing would get me to travel to the US.
That is so sad, Kathy Lauren, and so true. The Orange boy is more bluster than fire, but I think there's enough fire to burn all the trans people living in the good ol' US of A. And any trans person brave enough to travel from whatever country they call home to the country I call home. I love America. And I'm not saying that because I'm afraid some dude with a badge will someday subpoena this website, though I tend to choose my words carefully. I keep telling myself: this too, shall pass. And pray I'm right.
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Jessica_Rose

If you want to avoid issues with others, dress and act according to the societal norms matching the gender on your documentation. The less androgenous, the better. Once you've passed through customs and are out of the airport, it will be a little easier to be yourself. I would avoid cowboy bars.

I travel through northern Texas several times a year, and I have never had any issues. No one has ever questioned my gender or my presence in the ladies room. There aren't roving gangs of people looking for members of our community. For the most part, if you don't go looking for trouble, trouble won't find you.

@KathyLauren , if I didn't live here, I wouldn't travel here either!

Love always -- Jessica Rose
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
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23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
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Mrs. Oliphant

I'm just saying that if the US Department of State issued a travel advisory not to travel to Australia, I would probably go to New Zealand. Are foreign trans people safe traveling to the U.S.? I don't know. I don't go anywhere. But I would love to see New Zealand.
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Sarah B

Hi Everyone

Australia and New Zealand are both regarded as generally safe destinations for transgender travellers.  Each country has protections against discrimination based on gender identity in various areas of public life.  Individuals can usually expect respectful treatment.

Both countries are notable for their vibrant cultural diversity including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander communities in Australia Māori communities in New Zealand and a wide range of immigrant populations. Carrying identification that matches your name and gender is recommended.

If documents do not align with your appearance or name additional paperwork may be helpful. It is also wise to consult official government resources in advance since regulations can change.

Australia is widely regarded as safe with anti-discrimination laws in effect. New Zealand enforces laws against discrimination based on gender identity.

Visa Requirements for Australia:

  • Canadian Citizens: Typically need an Electronic Travel Authority (ETA) or an eVisitor visa obtained online before departure
  • UK Citizens: Usually apply online for an eVisitor (subclass 651) visa ahead of traveling
  • New Zealand Citizens: Normally receive a Special Category Visa on arrival if they meet health and character requirements

Taking basic precautions and carrying proper identification can help ensure a smooth journey. Both Australia and New Zealand maintain inclusive policies and are generally welcoming to diverse travellers

Come one and all and I will put a shrimp (prawn) on the barbie.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
Be who you want to be.
Sarah's Story
Feb 1989 Living my life as Sarah.
Feb 1989 Legally changed my name.
Mar 1989 Started hormones.
May 1990 Three surgery letters.
Feb 1991 Surgery.

Mrs. Oliphant

Quote from: Sarah B on April 14, 2025, 08:05:12 PMCome one and all and I will put a shrimp (prawn) on the barbie.
Sarah B, you are awesome! And I meant no offense to the Land Down Under. Please, allow me to change my hypothetical to the UK and Ireland. Ireland does have a travel advisory. Fortunately, I'm Scottish (though we're the same thing as Irish, we just live on different sides of the coast).
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darksou

I don't live in the US, so take this with a grain of salt. I heard that european countries are advising against travelling to the US unless your documents are 100% okay, but there is one person from France that was stopped for having negative opinions on the current administration of the country and I heard of some scary cases of people being detained or put to jail without having any issues with their documents. Some weren't allowed to get in just because they had negative opinions of the country's president.

Basically, it seems the US has been currently isolating itself from other countries in general. I wouldn't be able to travel there as I pass as a man 99% of the time and all my documents are marked with M, however, I was assigned female at birth. I also happen to be a latino which would be enough reason for them to not want me in the country. My name is clearly not in English and I look like a latino.

Lori Dee

Quote from: darksou on April 16, 2025, 03:35:57 PMthere is one person from France that was stopped for having negative opinions on the current administration of the country and I heard of some scary cases of people being detained or put to jail without having any issues with their documents. Some weren't allowed to get in just because they had negative opinions of the country's president.

It has happened. While going through the security screening, they checked the person's phone and saw negative comments on the social media app. We live in scary times.
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MaryXYX

I'm in the UK.  Our Supreme Court has just enacted a measure that a person's "sex" means the sex as declared at birth and can't be changed.  It's too early to know how this will work out but I might have to emigrate.  New Zealand looks like a good place but you can't get any further from home!

Maid Marion

Quote from: Mrs. Oliphant on April 14, 2025, 10:43:52 AMHi Roberta. I live in Montana, which is probably a lot like Texas just not as big. If you were traveling to Missoula or Bozeman, Montana. No one would even notice you. Just about anywhere else in the state? You might be well advised to hire a bodyguard (police escort won't help; they're among the greatest threats) Hope that helps. I've been to Texas. And so much of it is so beautiful. Be safe.
Many of these states also allow you to carry a firearm without a permit.
Maybe a visible firearm would work as well as a bodyguard?

I once did the last presentation at a conference in the Midwest,
After I was done there was a show and tell of the concealed firearms members of the audience were carrying.

Jessica_Rose

'Concealed' means just that, 'concealed'. If you have a valid concealed carry permit, or are in a 'constitutional carry' state, and 'flash' your weapon (temporarily make it visible), you can be arrested. Some states allow 'open carry', which means it must be visible at all times. If you are in an open carry state, and are carrying a concealed weapon, 'flashing' it is most likely illegal. The laws vary greatly from state to state. Please do your research on this. Our community is already under enough scrutiny right now.

Love always -- Jessica Rose
Journal thread - Jessica's Rose Garden
National Coming Out Day video - Coming Out
GCS - GCS and BA w/Dr. Ley
GCS II - GCS II and FFS w/Dr. Ley
FFS II - Jaw and chin surgery w/Dr. Ley
Hair - Hair Restoration
23Mar2017 - HRT / 16Feb2018 - Full Time! / 21Feb2019 - GCS / 26July2019 - GCS II / 13Oct2020 - FFS II
"It is never too late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot
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Lori Dee

Quote from: Jessica_Rose on April 17, 2025, 09:31:02 AMThe laws vary greatly from state to state. Please do your research on this. Our community is already under enough scrutiny right now.

A very good point. Here in South Dakota, we have constitutional carry as a state law. Concealed carry permits are available for residents who might need one while traveling to other states that require them. But South Dakota is hardly a trans-friendly place.

The problem with carrying is what police call "weapon focus". People naturally focus their attention on a weapon. This is why many eye-witness accounts are unreliable, because the victim was so busy looking at the gun that they ignored other identifying features of the perpetrator.

So you might have been "passing" and no one noticed you, but your weapon will draw attention, even from others who also might be carrying. We don't need extra attention coming our way.
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/ 2024 - Voice Training / 2025 - Passport & IDs complete
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D'Amalie

I'm more concerned about being me, traveling comfortably in style.  So what If I get clocked.  Just "Smile and wave, boys.  Smile and wave."

I travel frequently in the U.S, and been back and forth to Europe a few times in the last 5 years.  Not that today's environment is the same as last year's.  My documents are all M, yet because I travel androgynously I've not experienced trouble. I wear women's slacks or jeans, shoes, bra, V-neck sweaters or T's, long hair femme styled, mascara and both ears pierced, but no lipstick (a bit of gloss if my lips are dry. 

I don't exhibit fully F or M. Never had trouble, but I did get a second look and a query at a random pat down leaving Baltimore last month because they felt my bra clasp.  All I had to say, looking them squarely in the eye with innocence, is "It's my bra" leaving out the smarty pants rejoinder, "Why, don't you wear one?"  Not that today's environment is the same as last year's.  I think confidence measurably affects your treatment by officialdom.  Be polite, don't argue, if you get clocked don't make an issue of it.  Travel with M or F documents not X.  My understanding is that the X marker gets you stopped hard on US entry.  There is no easy way to deal with bigots. But in public its hard to way what the local populace opinion is.

Look as close as you can to your passport.  Todays facial recognition stations at TSA are really good.  Lipstick won't disturb that technology.  Just travel incognito as they used to say.  Dressing "to the Nines" isn't a normal cultural thing in the US except fancy do's at any rate.  Be confident and polite.  I wouldn't expect to be confronted.  Don't over think it.  If you have F docs then you are F.  If you have M docs, don't hide it.  Get on with your life.


Quote from: Lori Dee on April 14, 2025, 02:26:26 PMI can't speak for the situation in Texas, but when going through Customs at the airport, I would suggest that you look as shown on your passport. Where people run into trouble is if their gender marker has an X, or if they present differently from what their passport shows. If your passport shows M, then my advice would be to travel as an M. Once you leave the airport, the risks decrease... but are never zero.
One shouldn't open the book of another's life and jump in the middle.  I am a woman, I'm a mystery.  I still see and hear who I used to be, who I am, who I'm gonna be. - Richelle
"Where you'd learn do to that, miss?" "Just do it, that's all; ... I got natural talent." "I'll say you do, at that." - Firefly
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ChrissyRyan

I wish all of us ease of travel.
It would likely be very good "to modestly dress as the gender" as mentioned on your travel documents when going through travel security.  That is what I do.

Chrissy

Always stay cheerful, be polite, kind, and understanding. Accepting yourself as the woman you are is very liberating.  Never underestimate the appreciation and respect of authenticity.  Help connect a person to someone that may be able to help that person.  Be brave, be strong.  A TRUE friend is a treasure.  Relationships are very important, people are important, and the sooner we all realize that the better off the world will be.  Try a little kindness.  Be generous with your time, energy, wisdom, and resources.   Inconvenience yourself to help someone.   I am a brown eyed, brown haired woman.