Transitioning in Older Age

[Zoey Addisyn]

I saw this on the socials yesterday. My surgery date is less than 6 weeks away (11/11/25) and I have adopted it as my personal affirmation...

Transitioning later in life is about more than gender. It's about reclaiming possibility. It shows us that you can always begin again, you can always choose yourself, and you can always inspire others just by being real.

[Lori Dee]

Transitioning later in life is about more than gender. It's about reclaiming possibility. It shows us that you can always begin again, you can always choose yourself, and you can always inspire others just by being real.

I love that!

[Jaymie Z]

Big Kim & Lori Dee, I'm not far behind you having come along in 1958. As you noted, There was little in terms of information available back when. While there were sensationalized things in the media like when Robert Reed who played someone was transitioning in a made for TV movie, there was also the Playboy article on Wendy Carlos,  which I seem to recall was more constructive. I had a little more helpful source of info, when I was in college in the late 1970s I had a work study gig in the library. The school had a nursing program, and one text that I came across was a clinical textbook on transitioning that was quite interesting. Someday I just might go back and see if they still have it 😏

The next constructive work that I recall coming across was the documentary "Metamorphosis man into woman" in about 1990. Those experiences seemed to smolder into my pursuing this side of me in more recent times.

[Sephirah]

I tend to look at this a bit differently.

During my time here, I have met many folks who didn't transition until later in life. And a common thread is "I wish I could have done it sooner." Whilst I understand this sentiment, I can honestly say that those I have spoken to are beautiful, gentle, kind, empathetic souls, and have a deep understanding of some of the struggles a lot of people deal with. I firmly believe this comes, at least in part, through their experiences in life, and who what they've been through has made them.

I do not believe that these experiences have taken away from who they are, and who they have become, other than physical self expression. Rather I feel that their experiences in life have enriched them as people. Folks learn lessons, and see the world in a way that maybe a lot of other people don't. That is carried through as we continue to live life. Later life transition, in my view, does not mean you weren't you earlier. It just means you've had to deal with different challenges to others, in order to live. And by doing so, you've got to a place where you are able to express who you are, and who you're going to be in the future, in a way you are okay with. Every experience is valuable. However good, or bad.

I don't think it's about beginning again. That writes off a vast chunk of your life that is very important. Rather, it's about reconciling your past with your future. Being able to incorporate both into your present. Wherever in your life that occurs. You were always you, you will always be you. What you do about how to express that in a way which makes you happy, depends sometimes on circumstance, sometimes on knowledge, sometimes on opportunity. But it doesn't change the fact that everything you were and everything you will be, goes into who you are. The trick is being okay with that.

Love who you are, whenever you are. Because everything you've been through has gone into making it that way. And... well... everyone's story is worth reading. 🙂

[Liz K]

I'm one of the younger members of the 'Boomer' generation.  I started my transition a little more than four years ago.  Best decision I ever made.  Do I wish I did it sooner?  Yes and no.  

Sure, it would've been wonderful if I'd stopped denying who I was a decade or two sooner.  After all, I've always known that I should've been born a girl.  And I knew it was medically possible to reverse that mistake.  I seemingly missed out on a lot of authentic living.  But did I really?  I was social conditioned to believe that that life was simply unattainable.  Perception is reality.  So I persevered the best I could....until I couldn't any longer.

My guy self, I'll refer to him as 'G', pushed through some of the most soul-crushing adversity the human spirit can endure.  But G kept going, and when Liz was ready to take over, he graciously stepped aside.  I'll always be grateful to G for getting me here.  More than once, G questioned why he was still alive.  I'm a stronger person because of his resilience.  

Nietzsche's famous quote "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" resonates massively.

That lived experience, combined with estradiol, is my superpower.  There's nothing I can't do.  I transitioned at exactly the right time.

[Lori Dee]

@Sephirah
@Liz K

What you two have written resonates with me and is something I have incorporated into my spiritual beliefs.

Suppose we consider that the purpose of Life is to experience life, in all its forms, good or bad. We learn things from these experiences, good and bad, and if we learn from our mistakes, we become better people. We become more spiritually evolved.

There are things that we can only experience through the viewpoint of a man (or woman). Transgender people are the most spiritually evolved people I know. It is like they have lived two lives in one lifetime, learning from the experiences of both. I think that may be why it is not uncommon for transgender people to have a soul-mate who is also transgender. They get it and can see both sides of any situation.

Age factors into this because there are only so many years we can live and experience a life, so it takes time to learn the lessons of one through trials and tribulations. Then, when those lessons are learned, an opportunity presents itself to experience the other side of the coin. Not everyone can do this, because many people do not learn what they need to evolve in a single lifetime. And when such an opportunity is recognized, we realize deep inside us that this is the direction we must go. And as Liz put it, one steps aside so the other can begin.

Thank you, ladies!

[Asche]

Rather I feel that their experiences in life have enriched them as people. Folks learn lessons, and see the world in a way that maybe a lot of other people don't. That is carried through as we continue to live life.

I transitioned at age 63 (gee, where did the time go??)   I spend time with people who are more on the progressive/social justice end of things, and I notice that because of my experiences from before (especially the Hell of my growing up), I have a different perspective on things, and I think I have an easier time understanding the point of view of oppressed people than the well-meaning but sometimes clueless middle-class, white, cis-het folks I know.  I am more inclined to feel some empathy even for some pretty awful people.  And maybe it's age, and maybe it's my life experiences, but I don't have the energy for hate, or for the unthinking anger that so many people show.

Rather, it's about reconciling your past with your future. Being able to incorporate both into your present. Wherever in your life that occurs. You were always you, you will always be you. What you do about how to express that in a way which makes you happy, depends sometimes on circumstance, sometimes on knowledge, sometimes on opportunity. But it doesn't change the fact that everything you were and everything you will be, goes into who you are. The trick is being okay with that.

That's what I try to say when I say, "I didn't transition to become a woman, I transitioned to become myself."  There's very little about my past that I would reject.  (Well, maybe some of the times I acted like a jerk.....)

But I am a little sad that I've spent my entire life feeling outside the human race, like the last member of an extince species.  The closest I have come to feeling like I am among people like me is in some of the trans groups I've been in.  (Unfortunately, I've been in trans groups that made me feel even more like an outsider or the wrong species than I feel among bog-standard cis-het white peopl.e)

[Lori Dee]

"Michelangelo described the process of creating his magnificent sculptures as a matter of seeing the form within the marble and then removing everything that didn't belong. With this lens on the process, Michelangelo didn't so much create David as reveal him by chiseling away the block in which he was encased.

Michelangelo placed his talent in service to the image he was given. Through his inner vision he engaged with a reality not yet manifest in physical form. He gave it his attention, recognized its value, and worked to bring that vision into the material world. The profound beauty of the sculptures he created gives credence to his way of working."

You are all Michelangelos.

Some have a lot to chip away to reveal the beauty within, some not so much. It's not always about the physical appearances.