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Allison R Redux

Started by Allison R, May 12, 2025, 10:19:55 PM

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davina61

Hope your having a good time XX
a long time coming (out) HRT 12 2017
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    The following users thanked this post: Lori Dee

Allison R

Thank you all for the birthday wishes. It was quiet, which is exactly right for me right now.

Some updates. My ex called and asked if she could come home before my birthday. Sounds good, but it was just as much a realization that the grass really isn't greener situation as anything else. I told her she could. Nothing has really changed between us other than a recognition from us both that we have to approach each other differently if there is gonna be any future. I have drastically stepped back my affirming regimen. The elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving. I 100% see that she probably is masking because one doesn't just change that feeling that quickly or easily unfortunately. So, in 90 days of things are still as smooth as they are right now the subject will be brought back up. I have waited more than a half a century, another few months should be nothing. Of course my therapist is not as optimistic as I am. Not sure how to feel about that. For those who might've read my previous blog, I know she is probably right and have already accepted it to a very large degree.

On an even more personal note, and directly resulting from the previous update, dysphoria is a B. It had become background noise, still irritating but easier to put to the back of my mind. Now it is centered right between my eyes. But it is only temporary.

Well I hope everyone in the US has a wonderful Labor Day, and all my brother and sisters around the world have a great weekend.

Love and hugs

Allison

Lori Dee

Quote from: Allison R on August 28, 2025, 08:38:27 AMThe elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving. I 100% see that she probably is masking because one doesn't just change that feeling that quickly or easily unfortunately.

It is wise to be cautious. But as they say, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Maybe they realized the grass is not greener and what a wonderful person you are. That can cause one to be more open and willing to listen and try to understand. Our gender issues are very complicated to understand, even for us. It is much more so for those who do not experience dysphoria. They have no frame of reference, so it is totally foreign to them.

Hopefully, they will make an effort to see things from your perspective and try to understand and accept who you truly are. If they can't even try, then good riddance. But it might be worth giving them time and opportunity to try. Just don't jeopardize yourself in doing so. You come first.
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@Allison R    cc: @Lori Dee

Dear Allison:
I am so very happy to see that you again are posting on the Forum and updating your Blog Thread.

Also, I agree with the advice that Lori Dee provided . .. "It is wise to be cautious."

I can see why you could approach the renewal of your relationship would be a welcome
happening for you, but as a politician stated decades ago...
"Trust But Verify"

I will eagerly continue to follow your postings and Blog activity along with your
other followers and readers.

HUGS, and wishing you success...    ❤️❤️❤️
Danielle
[Northern Star Girl]
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Sephirah

Quote from: Allison R on August 28, 2025, 08:38:27 AMThe elephant is still in the room with us, but personally, I am gonna wait til I decide if this is still who I want in my day to day life before I start opening myself back up to the hatred and disgust she displayed before leaving.

I agree with your therapist, Allison and I am scared you're setting yourself up for a fall, sweetie. Whether you want this person in your life or not.. you need to be open from the start or it just isn't going to work. You shouldn't do this to you, and you shouldn't do this to her. If she still feels the same way, you are both going to get hurt... and that isn't good for either of you. She is who she is and you are who you are. Love can overcome a lot of things, but some it can't. And if it can't, you need to choose who you want to spend your energy on.

*hugs*
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