Thank you, both of you.
Sometimes the way I express myself isn't how I want to express myself, that's kind of the issue, lol. Sometimes I let stuff get topside of me and bring it to a place where it shouldn't be. But I get your point.
Maybe I should not try to be the judge of it all. It is a bit hypocritical when I don't, as a rule, judge others.

I am glad this place has approachable, understanding, kindhearted staff. It's kind of a rarity.

But more than that, just decent people.
Anyway... I have been looking into going back to work. Which will be a challenge in itself but it's better than just being alone with my thoughts. I can do most of it from home so there's no major logistical nightmare. It's only admin for a charity (British Heart Foundation to be specific... my mum died from a heart attack so if I can do anything to help people be more aware of heart health and support for others going through it, you know).
It's only a voluntary position, nothing like super mega special. But every little helps. It will take my mind off stuff I'm dealing with and hopefully help other people with their stuff. I'll know more in a couple of weeks. I can push pens with the best of 'em, lol. So hopefully this will be a good thing.