I came out to my work colleagues in September 2019, and they were excited to meet their new female colleague, but I had never been outside as myself before, and I told them that they would have to wait a few months until I was ready. Not satisfied with that, they booked me into a "transitioning at Work" seminar in a nearby city, then after I accepted, they said all 6 of them were coming with me.
I planned to go in my usual work uniform, but they then told me they had arranged for me to meet the keynote speaker, and I needed to present as myself so I could get some private advice. I felt so much gratitude for the support they were giving me I bought a new outfit with pants and a nice top, appropriate for a business occasion. This wasn't good enough for the 5 women, who told me they had all agreed to wear dresses on the day to support me. I mean, with people being so supportive, how can you refuse? I chose a black summer dress with a light branches and leaves pattern, sandals with a small 1 1/2 inch block heel, and a black handbag.
I was terrified when they knocked at my house door to pick me up, and a little miffed to find only one of the other women was wearing a dress! I took the first steps out of my house as me, but this was not going to be easy!
The seminar was in another city a couple of hours away, and it was decided we should take the train, so I had to face a station full of commuters, then being stuck on the busy train for over an hour before arriving at the main station with thousands of people milling about! The seminar was in a building a couple of blocks away from the station, so we walked there, but to my horror, we had to pass through a large protest crowd. That was when I noticed the network news cameras pointing at me! To get through to the seminar, we had to pass through a police cordon, and answer questions about what we we doing in the area.
Finally at the seminar, I realised I had actually gotten this far without anybody really noticing me, and I could not have imagined a worse scenario for my first outing! The seminar over, the speaker was mobbed, so I didn't get to talk to them, and we went to lunch at a crowded riverside restaurant. I got lot's of compliments from my colleagues, my boss even suggested I looked so natural as a woman that I should just be myself at work from then onwards.
But this wasn't time to relax, as now I realised I needed to go to a restroom! One of my colleagues came with me and we did our business and checked our hair and faces in the mirror just like the other women in the rest room with us. Nobody screamed and pointed, it was all very normal. The trip home was the reverse of the trip there, except that now it did feel normal. A couple of the ladies told me they were very comfortable with me as female, and from now on I should share the women's restroom at work!
As usual, life is a bit more complicated than that, and it was a horror day for my wife as she felt it was now certain she had lost her husband. My colleagues were visibly disappointed when I came to work the next day in my normal uniform, and I explained to them that if I had worn female clothes to work, I would have gone home to an empty house. I planned to give everyone some months to get used to the idea of me transitioning and it was 3 months before anyone saw me as myself again.
So on my first time out, I truly dived into the deep end and faced so many more challenges than I could have imagined! It was maybe the most important day in my transition, as up to that point, I was drowning in self doubt that I could actually face life as a woman, but, for the first time in my life I entertained the thought that a future for me was possible!
Hugs,
Allie
