Today is exactly six months to the day that I came out to myself. It's been an extraordinary period of self-discovery and changes, some physical, some mental, most of them small and subtle, almost all of them very positive and enjoyable.
I'm paying far more attention to my appearance, I'm trying to learn the skills of makeup, and I'm taking an interest in women's fashion. I've been euphoric, dysphoric, frustrated and occasionally lonely but every day I feel more comfortable and accepting of my situation. The several times that I have been acknowledged as a woman in public while in boymode have been particularly memorable.
I've been very grateful to have found this forum and its friendly and supportive people and to read their experiences, many of whom have life stories similar to my own.
One of the most significant changes has been my approach to exercise. I've always been a highly competive person, always been in individual events, running, cycling and triathlon. The events become more and more extreme as I grew older. I've done numerous marathons, ultra-events, ironman and powerman races for which I trained long and hard.
But since February it's all completely changed. The urge has gone. For the first time for very many years I haven't entered any races. I still run but less often and only for the pleasure; no more serious training.
I suppose I was always trying to prove to myself and the world around me that I was a proper man. But I'm not, I'm a woman and there's no more pressure to prove anything to anyone. It's been so liberating.
