18 and my first time in public

[JamestoSandra]

So I am a mature male now but in 1979 I was 18 and had just graduated HS and moved out of state.
I had been wearing my sisters things since I was 12. She had caught me twice wearing them. Around 17 she taught me how to put make up on.
I had just got a job and an appartment. I had a suit case full of my sisters old clothes and I decided it was time to dress up and go out. I was a late bloomer and even at 18 had very little body hair and I was snow white blonde. My hair was long because that was the thing at the time.
I put my hair up in a high pony tail and put on make up like she had showed me. Then I put on my panties and bra. I still remember the panties were a pair of pink bikini panties and matching bra. I used some gel bra inserts.
I was only 5'8" and 135lbs at the time.
I had this very cute sundress with sunflowers all over it. I put it on and a cute pair of sandles. Walking out the door of my place for the first time I felt a rush through my body of excitement and nervous. I swear my penis was shrunk up so small.
I got in my car and drove around a bit then stopped at a shopping mall and walked around and looked at girls things. I was nervous that people were going to say something or laugh but no one even noticed had a few people look at me and smile and say hi and it went well and I felt so comfortable.
It was easy to look like a girl at that time but as I got into my mid 20's I began to grow and get more masculine and it was harder to pass but I still dressed when I could. Now I am older I dont dress much but I wear panties under my clothes quite often.

[Northern Star Girl]

@JamestoSandra
Dear JamestoSandra:
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What you have described about yourself rings true with many of our members here... 
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[ChrissyRyan]

Hi!

Welcome JamestoSandra!


Chrissy

[Sarah B]

Hi Sandra

My name is Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!

I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.

Thank you for sharing your story.  Those first trips out sound both exciting and nerve wracking.  The way your sister supported you by teaching makeup must have felt empowering and I can see how that memory still resonates.  You showed courage by stepping into that mall, meeting smiles instead of judgment.  As bodies change with age it is natural that presentation feels different.  Even so small rituals like wearing panties can preserve that sense of authenticity that you felt in the sunflower dress.

If you ever wish to explore these feelings further consider connecting with others who share similar experiences in online forums or local support groups as understanding companions can make the journey easier.  Above all treat yourself with the same kindness your younger self needed and allow your expression to evolve at the pace that feels safe for you.

Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads.  I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.

In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.

Please keep in mind when posting that this is an ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets.  Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@Devlyn  @Jessica_Rose  @Mariah  @Northern Star Girl  @Lori Dee
@JamestoSandra

[Ciara]

Hi Sandra,
What a lovely story. I can really feel your emotions as you dressed up, put on your make up and got ready to take that step outside.
I love that you can recall such detail, even down to the matching bra and panties. You must have been beautiful that day.
My first time out was very recently and I know that I too will recall until my last day every detail of clothing, make up and hair. I will also recall every detail of where I went with all the emotions that I surrendered myself to.
Thank you for sharing this.

Ciara.