What to be prepared for.

[CosmicJoke]

Hi everyone. Some of you might be considering transition or maybe you already started out. This is sort of an unfortunate thing that happened to me. I'm not saying it's going to happen to you but it's better to go into this with realistic expectations.

There was a guy I met about 13 years ago. I met him in person. He initially looked at me like I was the most beautiful girl he ever saw. I took my time and showed an interest back in him. I really feel like we had feelings for each other that were more than "just friends." I even told him straight up that I was transgender before things moved any further. He said he could understand that.

I've told him about desires I had before like bottom surgery. I really thought we had the potential to be more than just friends.

We stayed in touch on Facebook, and everything seemed to be going well. Fast forward to earlier this year; he posts a meme that says "Trans sheep are sheep." I assumed this was just to be funny as he was the most accepting person I knew.

He took my comment on it completely the wrong way and inadvertently outed me publicly. I confronted him about this privately yet he still maintained the meme was "more political rather anything against transgender people." I was still confused so I asked him what changed about him. Now he tells me he doesn't care if I do something to my body he just doesn't want this "shoved down kids throats" or "women with male appendage in women's restrooms." At this point I just blocked him. It was very clear to me he was just trying to get a response out of me and make me look bad in doing so.

I guess my moral of the story is be careful who you trust. There are alot of people out there that may seem like good people that will love and accept you for being transgender but they could be a fake. This guy basically strung me along for about 13 years and I thought he was love at first sight.

[KathyLauren]

I am sorry that that happened to you.  People change, and not always for the better.  Even nice people can be brainwashed. 

[Lilis]

CosmicJoke, I'm so sorry for the pain you've been through.

I've experienced something similar, when I came out, some people walked away.

It hurt.

And I know your connection lasted over a decade, which makes the grief even heavier and more complex.

It's okay to mourn that kind of loss.

But I've also learned that their absence creates space for people who align with who we are.

What's helped me is stepping back from cisgender spaces and connections that can't, or won't, accept and understand me, and instead seeking out community and connection within the LGBTQ+ family.

I hope that helps, even just a little.


~ Lilis 💕🌷