Hello everyone

[Lori Dee]

I am quite nervous and scared about talking to a therapist and getting on HRT and medical intervention in order to transition but at the same time if my therapist declares that i should then it will be liberating and confirm what i always suspected of myself. Its an exciting thing to think about and a huge change in my life that will be beneficial and help me in the end i think, to be able to live physically as the woman i always been inside. I thought about online sources but a doctor's supervision and care is much safer.

Your therapist should never tell you what to do. They will ask questions and ask you what YOU want to do. The decision is yours, as many transgender people choose to do nothing. The therapist's function is to determine if you have other issues going on that may seem like gender dysphoria. Once they diagnose that it is gender dysphoria, then any medical transition that you want to do becomes "medically necessary". Under the current regime, many insurance companies have stopped covering gender affirming care, but a clever doctor can diagnose a medical condition that has nothing to do with gender affirming care, so they may bypass insurance coverage hurdles.

For example, the VA stopped covering hair removal because it is considered "cosmetic". My diagnosis of gender dysphoria then made hair removal "medically necessary". Then the VA stopped most gender affirming care, so my doctor diagnosed me with hirsutism (excessive facial hair in women). Since I just moved to Colorado this week, I have not had a chance yet to follow up with a new doctor to see if the VA will cover hair removal for hirsutism. Likewise, my hormones say on the prescription label "For Hormone Replacement," which is valid for males, females, or transgender.

The other function of a therapist is someone who can help you understand what you are going through. It is embarrassing to talk about sensitive subjects like this with a stranger. As a retired hypnotherapist, I can assure you that your therapist has heard it all before, so you are not going to shock them. They are trained professionals and work in that field because they enjoy helping people with problems, and you will encounter problems. It is nice to have someone to talk to about anything, who will understand, and can give you another perspective on things. We can get very caught up in our own thoughts and feelings until we have tunnel vision and cannot see things any other way.

I think you have made some good decisions about the best way to proceed to effect the best outcome for you. We all wish you the very best. Feel free to come back here and let us know how things are going, to just vent, or ask for advice. We are here to help.

Welcome to Susan's Place!

[April Marie]

Welcome back, Lunaira. I apologize for being so late in welcoming you. You've already had so much wonderful advice for people here so I won't duplicate that except to add a thought on passing.

As has been noted, passing is a relative term and, in many cases meaningless. Who defines it? Each of us, CIS or transgender, are different and we reflect a wide range of body characteristics. Going by what many consider "traditional characteristics" would eliminate a large portion of the CIS population from being "passable."

I read an article a few months ago of the subject and it offered that we should focus on being "presentable." Neat, clean, appropriately dressed for the occasion, smiling and confident. Confidence in ourselves along with finding self-love makes a huge amount of difference in how other perceive us, IMHO.

We've all been where you are at some point. I'm only 2.5 years into transition now at age 70 and just starting GAHT. We're here to help, to celebrate your wins and offer a shoulder when you need it. Not every day is a good day, but if you look for it you can always find something good in every day.

[Lunaria]

Ill reply to all this soon, another girl i was interested in because im not sure if the other one i mentioned really has feelings for me yet but this girl blocked me because i told her im not going to send her another picture of me (of course looking male because she doesnt know). Depressed about that other girl saying i was ugly i was being dumb and stupid and took things out on her by saying no. Im emotionally hurt and upset and mad at myself right now and sad. I feel like crying a little bit, i cant seem to stay in contact with people for very long because of my conflicting feelings of being trans and also pretending to be a guy towards these women. Its always been like this for me. All my relationships with only women have been stressful and complicated but my ex girlfriend was the worst. Its frustrating.

Who knows, maybe she'll unblock me in the future, she did say she was having a bad and hard situation and time and having a lot of problems and struggling so once things get better for her maybe she'll feel like talking again and forgive me. I hope. I should have just shown and shared her another picture. A mistake was made and im disappointed in myself and regret it.

I am surprised she blocked me though after our very long and good staying in touch and meaningful conversations, i wasnt expecting it. Its my fault, i probably offended her and hurt her feelings on top of everything else she's going through and dealing with like PTSD. She didnt need my silliness and nonsense and apparent drama from the other girl.