Does the argument that we're "choosing this" really hold water?

[Sephirah]

Hi everyone. It seems alot of times the people who hate us and oppress us the most claim that we "chose" to be transgender. They also claim that it's not really natural.

I don't get it simply because if sex was the only determining factor of gender and gender identity really is a choice then wouldn't everyone be changing theirs?

That argument just confuses me so I just decided to start a thread I guess. Any additional thoughts would be appreciated!

Choice is something that is weaponized and loses a lot of its meaning these days. For someone to say they choose something, automatically leads people to the assertion of "Well you could just as easily have not chose that thing. It's something which is wielded to trivialise something that people go through. Because they make a conscious decision. Making the idea itself largely polarizing and weighted no matter which way you think.

But I think, personally, that choice is the one... and perhaps only aspect of who we are as human beings, which separates us from every other animal on the planet. We have the ability to make choices, rather than act on instinct. On reflex. That's fine if you're a gibbon, swinging from a tree, and you don't like the look of that branch you want to jump to... muscle memory is awesome. Go reach for that twig!

As people we have the cognitive function to see all (or most) angles of a situation and make a choice based on what is best for... well, if not us, then the situation as a whole. It is somewhat of an unpopular opinion but I am firmly of the belief that what people do about who they are is very definitely a choice. They could choose to do nothing. But they don't. People choose to take the steps that allow them to live their lives the best way they can.

And... the only thing I would say is that there are probably a few thousand people who view these forums regularly, questioning themselves, who do not see themselves as transgender. Because they choose not to. Choice is a very divisive word. And it's used against us in the worst way. But it can be our greatest freedom.

The whole "not natural" thing is a whole different thing. And claimed by people who should know better.

[Maid Marion]

Buying guy clothes isn't an option if you are too small to wear the find clothes made by Peter Manning.
I have some of his stuff.  There are few options for small guys.  I bought some sewing machines to alter clothes but I haven't used them in years.
Instead of hemming pants I can wear ankle length pants or some other cropped size for women.

Instead of trying to find size 5 shoes I now wear size 7 heels. 

[Lori Dee]

It is somewhat of an unpopular opinion but I am firmly of the belief that what people do about who they are is very definitely a choice. They could choose to do nothing. But they don't. People choose to take the steps that allow them to live their lives the best way they can.

And... the only thing I would say is that there are probably a few thousand people who view these forums regularly, questioning themselves, who do not see themselves as transgender. Because they choose not to. Choice is a very divisive word. And it's used against us in the worst way. But it can be our greatest freedom.

The whole "not natural" thing is a whole different thing. And claimed by people who should know better.

So many times I have talked with people who are miserable in their lives. They continue to do nothing about it and stay miserable. I tell them that there is a way out, there is a choice. I choose to be happy, whatever that involves. If it means packing up everything I own and leaving the situation, then so be it. I have made that choice many times, even recently. I have never regretted it.

Being transgender is not a choice any more than having Down's Syndrome is a choice. Bigots like to say it is a genetic "defect" or a mental illness. It is not. It is just a NATURAL variation that is very common in Nature. The choice is what you choose to do about it. For some people, it is ok to do nothing. For some, it becomes a disability that totally disrupts their lives. Such a disruptive condition can lead to severe consequences in physical and mental health.

The choice again follows, "What will you do about it?"

[Sephirah]

So many times I have talked with people who are miserable in their lives. They continue to do nothing about it and stay miserable. I tell them that there is a way out, there is a choice. I choose to be happy, whatever that involves. If it means packing up everything I own and leaving the situation, then so be it. I have made that choice many times, even recently. I have never regretted it.

Being transgender is not a choice any more than having Down's Syndrome is a choice. Bigots like to say it is a genetic "defect" or a mental illness. It is not. It is just a NATURAL variation that is very common in Nature. The choice is what you choose to do about it. For some people, it is ok to do nothing. For some, it becomes a disability that totally disrupts their lives. Such a disruptive condition can lead to severe consequences in physical and mental health.

The choice again follows, "What will you do about it?"

Yeah I agree, Lori. Being born a certain way is not a choice. What you do about it very much is. And this, I fear, is what most people don't understand, and what they levy against us. You can't choose your circumstances, you can, and should choose how you deal with them. And no one should hold that against you.