Jeanie out of the Bottle

[d18127]

I shared my backstory in my Introduction:

https://www.susans.org/index.php/topic,251704.0.html

I don't think the "Jeanie" (probably not a girl name I would go with) is ever going back in bottle, but right now I don't feel like a woman in man's body. Though is I was granted a second life I would transition in it. It's just a dormant part of me that wants to come out and be experienced.

I need a place to vent and sort of journal.

 

[Lilis]

I don't think the "Jeanie" (probably not a girl name I would go with) is ever going back in bottle, but right now I don't feel like a woman in man's body.

Hii,

D18127, this is where having open conversations about gender with a therapist can be really beneficial.

Not because there's anything wrong with you, but because a good therapist will meet you exactly where you are and help you explore your internal questions with care and clarity.


~ Lilis 🌷

[Lori Dee]

Hello, Jeanie!

Welcome to your Member Blog. This is the perfect place to journal your progress and update your readers and followers on the ups and downs you experience. We will rejoice with you on your achievements (no matter how small), and be here to support you when you stumble and need to vent.

Susan's Place contains a wealth of knowledge from real people who have lived the experiences. We are so happy to welcome you to share yours! 

[Northern Star Girl]

@d18127
DearJeanie:  aka: d18127

It is always a pleasure for me to see our newest members arrive on the Forum.
I see that have just started your own Blog thread here:  "Jeanie out of the Bottle"

You can consider your BLOG thread as your HOME here on the Forum where your readers and
followers can more easily find you to leave their comments and to share their thoughts with you. 

Also your Blog thread is your shared personal journal that you can use to write down your
thoughts and comments as you navigate your journey and life endeavors.

I have some older Blog threads here on the Forum from several years ago that I still go
back to read what I had shared in the past...  great memories of my trials and tribulations
as I had documented my own journey. 

I also keep a personal "old school" pen & paper journey for my eyes only... complete with
colorful doodling and snapshot pictures. 
On a cold and rainy night I can be found in my comfy chair in front of my warm fireplace
reading over some of my past writings... sometimes with tears in my eyes and sometimes
with a smile on my face.

As you feel free to share your story you can find comfort in knowing that when you
share your heartache, trials, difficulties and unpleasant experiences that test your
resilience and strength... that you have like-minded members and friends here that will
be at your side to offer their shoulder for you to lean on.
On the other hand, when you share your successes, accomplishments,and happy moments
we will rejoice with you and help you to celebrate those good times in your journey.

I look forward to following your journey here on your Blog thread and also on the many
other various threads on the Forum that you might get involved in.

My warmest HUGS ... and happy Blogging and Journaling
Danielle [Northern Star Girl]   
The Forum Administrator

[Pema]

This is your space, so vent away, sister!

[d18127]

I have spoken to a therapist. Being closeted, I'm keep the session on the down low and using free sessions through work.

I have feed more or less my story into ChatGPT and asked for input with a Jungian spin and aware of my INTP personality. Here is a snippet of an interesting interaction:

Me: Sometimes my feminine side feels like a backup system. Masculinity has run its course and time for the weaker side to be explored and perhaps expressed.

ChatGPT: ...Your "masculinity battery" has powered you for decades — football, fatherhood, career. Now, it's low. The "feminine battery" has been sitting there, unused but fully charged. Jung would say it's not a backup — it's the other half of you. Using it doesn't erase the first battery; it makes you whole...

[Lori Dee]

I have feed more or less my story into ChatGPT and asked for input with a Jungian spin

That is an interesting response.

Be cautious when relying on AI for such tasks. I know you said you take it with a grain of salt, but still be careful. Recently, the President signed an Executive Order to have AI outputs manipulated.

"One of the most pervasive and destructive of these ideologies is so-called "diversity, equity, and inclusion" (DEI).  In the AI context, DEI includes the suppression or distortion of factual information about race or sex; manipulation of racial or sexual representation in model outputs; incorporation of concepts like critical race theory, ->-bleeped-<-, unconscious bias, intersectionality, and systemic racism; and discrimination on the basis of race or sex.  DEI displaces the commitment to truth in favor of preferred outcomes and, as recent history illustrates, poses an existential threat to reliable AI."

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/07/preventing-woke-ai-in-the-federal-government/

The stated intent is to limit AI involvement in government procurement services. However, as we have seen this year, government regulatory agencies will run with such "guidance" and try to make it apply to anything they deem "inappropriate".

The Conspiracy Theorist in me doesn't trust any form of AI that has access to my private thoughts or data. Especially if that information is being stored, even temporarily, somewhere beyond my control. There have also been cases where AI has been shown to make up data (called "hallucinations") and present it as if it were factual data.

It cannot be trusted.

[d18127]

Funny I've come up with similar metaphors:

My masculinity is like my dominant arm but slight mechanical problem has lead it to feeling uncomfortable to use it.

My feminine side is like the other arm. Injury free but has little coordination and very awkward to use it.

ChatGPT seems pretty affirming at this point. Makes a point that it is NOT a fetish.

[d18127]

Another metaphor that struck chord with me I found on Crossdream Life Forum:

"One way to think of this question is how my gender therapist explained it to me. She has over 35-40 years of experience in the field and is highly regarded, BTW. She says to think of it like getting on the Transgender Train. You take it to the next station, which might be dreaming, crossdressing. Get off and stay a while, see how it feels. If you want, get back on and go outside dressed at the next station. Take it a station at a time. Be patient with yourself. And if you want, get back on the train and go farther. Or not, stay a while in that locale. Or hey, it's perfectly okay to head back toward the start and see how that feels. I guess the last train on the station is Surgery Land, and that's a scary one. But if you can, step back and allow yourself to experience the moments."

My age, the fact the I repressed without realizing it for decades and that I have a family likely means that I don't get anywhere near "Surgery Land". That being said, I want to ride the train for self-discovery purposes.

If my life situation was different maybe I do go the distance? Likely I would be going back and forth for years first.