Hi YoumeiMy name is
Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.
Thank you for sharing so openly. Your English is already good, so please do not worry about it. I am a native English speaker and I am still learning to speak proper English. About the word you used earlier, I believe when you said, "eges" you really meant "testes".
Your journey feels very close to mine. I moved across Australia then lived in Sydney for about 17 years. I started living as female right away. I took hormones for two years then had surgery when I was 32. You are right that the surgery is irreversible. I certainly lost the ability to have children and that still hurts me.
About your body, you are also right that your vagina is not a natal one. For day to day life the look and comfort can matter most. When a woman has a hysterectomy there are deep changes to reproductive capacity too, so the social and emotional parts of our paths can feel similar even if the medical details differ.
There is nothing anyone can do about chromosomes today. If safe and proven technology existed I would certainly avail myself of treatment. I am female and always will be in who I am and in how you express yourself you come across as deeply female too.
I also understand when you say you do not feel like a woman. Thoughts like that are normal. I have had a version of that feeling on rare days. I still live my life as female and that is what matters most for my peace and for how I move through the world.
I changed my records as soon as I changed my life around. I have not had problems with documents or daily use of services. Nobody knows about my past either. Only my family and a couple of doctors know and I prefer it that way. Life goes on regardless of what we have done. I went to university, I had a boyfriend and I enjoyed parts of life that I had missed out on earlier in my life. You can claim that space too.
For spicing up one's life, try a few gentle steps. Join a social club that matches an interest you have. Go to movies with friends. Take up a hobby where you meet similar people, like a walking group or a photography class or a language exchange. Looking for love can be hard and settling down with someone special can be hard, yet it is often worth it in the end. It is better to open your heart and give love a chance than to look back with regret for never trying.
About pleasure, what you describe is normal. The body can take time to warm up and respond. If you wish, appropriate toys and good lubrication can make arousal and orgasm easier. Explore at your own pace. It is encouraging that your body is functioning in similar ways many women experience.
You sound thoughtful, resilient and caring. You have already built a stable life in a new city. Add small new experiences, meet some new people and let yourself enjoy those times. I am cheering for you, Youmei.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an
ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!Best Wishes AlwaysSarah BGlobal Moderator@Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Northern Star Girl @Lori Dee @ Li Youmei
