Hi everyone, my name's Li Youmei, but you can just call me Youmei. I'm from China, so please forgive my broken English. Let me talking about my life experience. My parents divorced when I was little, and I grew up with my mom. Maybe because of that, I always wanted to be a girl.
When I was 28, I went to Thailand for the first time and had a surgery to remove my eges, so my body wouldn't produce male hormones anymore. After that, on my doctor's advice, I started a year of HRT — finasteride and estradiol. About six months into hormones, I began living full-time in women's clothes.
After a year on HRT, I decided to go for SRS. With the help of a medical agent, I somehow managed to pass the psych evaluation and got a surgery date. So, at 29 years and 8 months, I had my SRS in Thailand. It's irreversible — I lost my ability to have children, and I got a female organ that looks like one, but isn't really the same. Still, I changed the gender marker on my ID to "F," which lets me use women's bathrooms, public baths, etc. But inside, I don't feel like a woman — I feel like a man who just wants to have a female body.
Since I can't change my academic records in China, I went back to school: two years for an adult bachelor's, then another year for a master's. By then, I was 33. I used to live in Beijing, but later I moved to Shenzhen. I found a job as a shop assistant in a clothing store. The work is tiring but the pay is okay, and I can wear nice makeup every day and look pretty. Nobody here knows about my past.
I never tried to look for love. I know it would be too hard, and I don't do hard things. My sex drive isn't strong — I sometimes masturbate, but reaching orgasm takes a long time and I don't really enjoy it. One year passed, and now I'm 35. My life feels kind of plain and repetitive.
Any tips on how I can spice up my life a bit?
