Should I give up or finish to the end

[NancyDrew1930]

Spoiler

So part of my life that I have kept hidden on this board is that I am taking a Bible course at a conservative Christian college (I started this before I transitioned to the rest of the world, although I was on HRT), and I have been able to hide my ->-bleeped-<- from them for the duration of my course, however, I am getting to the point where I'm like 97% done, but I have to do the field work for the course (4 semesters worth of field work---because of my other issues I left it to the end) and now I'm getting to the point where if I reveal myself the them and the church I'll be doing the field work at, the college would possible expel me or somehow strip my credits.  I am planning to go on to another Christian University that accepts trans students.  Some of my family is telling me that I should drop out because they know that the college and its denomination do not accept Trans people, however, I want to get the degree so that it wasn't a waste of money and I can use the credits as transfer credits.  Has anyone ever been in a position like this before?

[Lori Dee]

I have not been in this position, but I would be inclined to tough it out and finish up. Yes, there is a risk that may prevent you from finishing, but that would be out of your hands. There is also the chance that no one would interfere, and you could achieve your goal. You are so close. They only win if you give up.

[Sephirah]

Listen to yourself. Not what other people tell you. Their advice is coloured by how they feel. Follow your instincts.

[NancyDrew1930]

Another thing that I'm finding is that over the past 18 months, since they joined forces with another college to share professors and programs, the quality has gone down, and really without me being transgender, the professors haven't really accepted my Asperger's, and even over the summer one of my courses was on worldviews and I found they were only really accepting of neurotypical views.

I'm talking with another seminary that's connected with a trans affirming denomination right now to see if I could transfer there and how transferring would work, even if I have to wait a year. 

[Lori Dee]

I'm talking with another seminary that's connected with a trans affirming denomination right now to see if I could transfer there and how transferring would work, even if I have to wait a year. 

That would be a good option if they would give you credit for the work you have already done. Let us know how that turns out. Good luck!

[Sarah B]

Hi Nancy

You have already shown incredible perseverance to reach this point, but the situation with your current college is becoming too risky.  You mentioned being on HRT, hiding your true self during your studies and now facing the challenge of completing four semesters of field work in an unsupportive and even hostile environment.

With the merger lowering quality and the professors not even accepting your Asperger's, the field work requirement is not just academically demanding, it is a place where you could easily be exposed.  A safer and more realistic path forward is possible.

A possible path for you would be the following.  It is offered only as a guide and ultimately it is up to you to decide how best to follow your dreams.

Step 1:
Stop going or pause at your current college.  Do not attempt the four semesters of field work because of the toxicity of the environment, the merger and the real chance of you being discovered during placements.  Instead, request an official transcript of the work you have already completed and if possible get an outline of those subjects.  These will be vital if you want to transfer to another seminary college, doing so will maximise your chances of getting the maximum number of credits at the new college.

Step 2:
Contact the seminary that accepts trans students and ask exactly what credits will be transferred.  Provide the transcript and subject outlines from Step 1.  Clarify what would still be required to finish your Bible or Theology course there.  Make sure to get the credit transfer policies in writing.

Step 3:
Plan for your name change.  If you have already changed your legal name, then enroll under your new name so that your degree is issued in that name.  If you have not yet changed it, you can do so later, since diplomas and transcripts can be reissued once your new legal name has been changed.

Step 4:
Be prepared for the possibility that not all credits will be transferred.  This may add time to your degree.  This is not wasted effort, but an investment in your future.  Living authentically, especially in a seminary that will accept you as you are, is far more valuable than staying in a place where you are unsafe.

Step 5:
Seek out support at the affirming seminary, if you want too.  Support networks will make the journey smoother both academically and personally.

These steps are simply ideas for you to consider.  Please take what feels right and leave what does not.  The important thing is that you find a path where you are safe, accepted and able to pursue your calling without fear.  Whatever route you choose, your effort and perseverance so far have not been wasted.  You deserve to finish in a place that honours both your faith and your identity.

So please don't give up. There is a way forward for you, even if it looks different from what you first expected.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator
@NancyDrew1930