Hi GwenMy name is
Sarah and I would also like to formally, Welcome you to Susan's Place!
I see that other members of Susan's have also welcomed you as well.
Thank you for sharing your story it was appreciated. Your words about the purge cycle hit home for many of us. Many of us tried to pack everything away only to find the feelings come back stronger each time. You are not alone in that pattern and naming it out loud is a strong step.
Your memory from age four makes perfect sense. Lots of us first sensed something was different around the ages of four or five, sometimes earlier. For me it was around four or five years old. There is nothing wrong with those early memories. They help us understand who we are ourselves and they are worth trusting and cherishing.
It is great that you have a therapist. The right therapist who understands gender identity issues can help you untangle old shame, build tools for rough days and keep your footing when life gets noisy.
Small steps matter more than most people think. The little wins add up and they create that quiet inner smile you described. It sounds like you are feeling that shift already into steady calm and real happiness.
I loved your electrolysis note. When my upper lip was getting done I considered using topical lidocaine but the hassle of getting it, applying it and explaining why I needed it put me off. So I kept a stiff upper lip! It hurt, yet every zap felt like one less hair to worry about. Oddly enough I think I enjoyed those sessions.
It is wonderful that your wife is supportive after so many years together. Keeping those lines of communication open will help both of you as your journey unfolds. Communicating with clear expectations and patience go a long way, especially in a small community that might surprise you in good ways.
Most of all I am glad you are happy. After carrying this inside you for decades you deserve the ease you are feeling now. I hope the road ahead keeps bringing you peace and joy and that the good days keep stretching into good weeks, good months and even good years.
Once you feel comfortable here, it would be appreciated if you add a little bit more about yourself in the other forums and threads. I would appreciate it very much as, I'm always interested in learning something new about new members.
In addition members of Susan's will more than likely will discuss problems or issues that are similar to yours as most have experienced these issues as well.
Please keep in mind when posting that this is an
ALL AGES PUBLIC Forum and the internet never forgets. Do not post anything that you do not want to be made public.
Take care and all the best for the future.
Once again, Welcome to Susan's Place!Best Wishes AlwaysSarah BGlobal Moderator@Susan @Northern Star Girl @Devlyn @Jessica_Rose @Mariah @Lori Dee @NowGwen
