Is it possible to be a MTF but never fully transition, but could, as a choice?

[ChrissyRyan]

Is it possible to be a MTF but never fully transition, but could, as a choice?
This assumes you have reached clarity about your gender. 


There could be many reasons why this may be the case, such as existing relationships, fear for many reasons, economic reasons, and so on.

What are your thoughts on this?

[Susan]

Absolutely. It's entirely possible—and more common than many realize—for a woman who knows she's MTF to never pursue a "full" transition. Being transgender doesn't come with deadlines or required milestones. Your gender is still valid whether or not you change your name, come out widely, start hormones, have surgeries, or choose to take none of those steps. I've known women who were clear about being MTF yet never transitioned before they passed; their identities were no less real.

People make different choices for many reasons: relationships and family, personal safety, finances, health conditions, career or community considerations, geography, the level or type of dysphoria they experience, or simply because certain steps don't feel necessary for their sense of authenticity. Some keep their identity private. Some transition socially but not medically. Others pursue select medical interventions and skip the rest. None of these paths is "less trans."

What matters most is agency and wellbeing—finding the mix that lets you feel at home in yourself while balancing the realities of your life. That mix can change over time; a "not now" isn't a "never," and a "never" can still be peaceful, complete, and true. The only person qualified to set your timeline—or to decide not to have one—is you.

You're not alone in considering this. The transgender community encompasses many ways of living our truth. If you're safe, supported, and living in a way that feels honest to you, that is a successful transition—whether it's visible to others or not.

[Lori Dee]

The purpose of transition for MtF or FtM is to relieve the symptoms of dysphoria.

Each person experiences dysphotia differently. For some, it may not bother them much, and they have no need to do anything.

For some, they are aware of the dysphoria, but are not severely impacted by it. They might get by with underdressing or decide they want to go full transition, including surgery.

For some, the symptoms can be devastating and even start to impact both mental and physical health, and there may not be much choice. Transition is necessary.

We have members here in every category, plus all of the points in between. That does not make them more or less transgender. Being transgender is something that you are. It is part of your internal self. The rest is merely what you feel you want to do about it, or in some cases, what you need to do about it.

I should note that denial is also an option.

[KathyLauren]

Yes, it is possible.  I know people in that situation.

In my case, once I knew I was trans, I set about doing a social and physical transition with no delay.  (I presume that physical transition is what you mean by "completely transition".)  But not everyone needs to do that.

The terms "MTF" and "FTM" seem to imply physical transition, going from male to female or vice versa.  But they are just shorthand for trans-female and trans-male respectively.  A person is trans whether they transition physically, socially, or not at all.

[Maid Marion]

I used to "male fail" all the time before transitioning, even when I had a full beard.
Once by a TSA agent in an airport security screening shortly after 9/11.

I now have "passing privilege" as a short petite woman without the risks of HRT or surgery.

[ChrissyRyan]

Yes, I agree, it is possible to be a MTF but never "fully" transition, but could, as a choice. 

In some cases, this may result in a compromise of how much someone genuinely wishes to transition.  Many may never work fully "in their gender."  Many will remain (South Pole area) Non-op.  Many will have no surgeries.  Perscribed hormones is also a big step many may not take.

Lots of reasons have been stated by the posters above.

Transitioning is such a personal decision.  What is right for some may not be right for others.

Plus, things change over time.  What was not right before may become comfortable later.


Chrissy

[Anne_lifetrip]

Is it possible to be a MTF but never fully transition, but could, as a choice?
This assumes you have reached clarity about your gender. 


There could be many reasons why this may be the case, such as existing relationships, fear for many reasons, economic reasons, and so on.

I do believe it is possible, for the reasons you have listed and many, many others, because each one of us have our own demons and insecurities inside.
What I would say the question would be more on the...having reached clarity on your gender, how does it affect you, your life, your relations, etc... by not expressing yourself in the gender you know you are?.

If the answer is that you feel Ok with it, great!👍🏼
But, if that generates problems on you, your self esteem, your relations, your self consciousness, your confidence...then I believe I would have to make a decision.

All I can say is that I am reaching this point of my transition and starting to shift from being Ok, to starting to want more and be who I really am.
Anyway, one of many personal decisions to make.

And as Chrissy says

Plus, things change over time.  What was not right before may become comfortable later.

[Lori Dee]

If the answer is that you feel Ok with it, great!👍🏼
But, if that generates problems on you, your self esteem, your relations, your self consciousness, your confidence...then I believe I would have to make a decision.

^^^
This.

Well said, Anne.

[Devlyn]

.....

I should note that denial is also an option.

I have a hard time believing that.
*
*
*
I'll see myself out. 🤣

[Lori Dee]

I have a hard time believing that.
*
*
*
I'll see myself out. 🤣

Devlyn the Denial Denier. 😁

[Sephirah]

Transition, by definition, is "the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another". Every one of us does this many times each day, over many different issues. Moving from a place you're unhappy to a place you're happy... that is a transition. Maybe not the one with a capital "T", but that doesn't really matter. The end result is the same.

We all transition, all the time. Life is change. So to answer your question... no, it's not possible. Because any change is a transition. What means, or lengths you go to, in order to affect that change is a matter of degrees, and a very personal thing. The process remains the same. Even if it's only coming here and finding people who accept you. Whoever you are. Finding, and accepting yourself, is a transition, in my opinion.

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

TL;DR
"Yes, I see the world as binary and each person decides what helps them feel at peace, happy and safe. I know that different paths exist and I respect those who stop where they feel it is right."
I have said in numerous posts, "I never transitioned", in today's terminology and I will stand by that statement.  As Sephirah said, the meaning of "transition" is  "changing from one state to another" and I completely understand the context in which it is used.  However, the word "transition" used in today's context now encompasses the extent to which one changes oneself in terms of one's gender.

Therein lies the dilemma for the individual confronted with deciding how far they can change (transition) given the circumstances that surround them and the individual's own wants and needs.  This undoubtedly remains the individual's decision.  Each of us must decide how far to go given health, finances, relationships, work, safety, location, the kind of dysphoria we feel and what we need to live well.  As already mentioned and it must be emphasised again, "that decision rests with the individual".

For my part, I can understand why someone cannot or chooses not to pursue everything.  Medical risk, cost, family duties or simple lack of need can be decisive.  I also hold that it is a person's body and life.  I support their right to choose what helps them.  I support choices that differ from my own because the person living that life is the only one who can decide what feels right for them.

I live in a binary world and I accept that others do not live in a binary world.  I sometimes struggle to understand why someone might stop partway while still respecting that choice.  I know that sounds like a contradiction alongside my support for autonomy.  Both things can be true at once.  I do not need a full understanding to respect another person's boundary.

What seems to matter most is relief of dysphoria and a sustainable life.  Some people do nothing and feel fine.  Some change a few things and feel complete.  Some pursue total social, legal and medical steps in order to be themselves, or none at all.  Different paths exist and different outcomes will follow, regardless, whatever one chooses is still valid.

If you have reached clarity about being who you want to be then you are you.  Whether you keep that private, share it with a few, or change visible parts of your life is your choice.  Peace and happiness within yourself are what you deserve.

I can only speak for myself.  To the original question my answer is a resounding Yes.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Tig58072]

I thought that was what going under the radar is.

[Maid Marion]

I thought that was what going under the radar is.

Not in my case.  I go golfing in pretty skirts.  I routinely talk with golfers how I am different.
It takes about two hours to walk nine holes of golf.  Plenty of time to answer any questions.

I wear female clothes when gardening.  I have a rose garden in the front yard that blooms from Memorial day to the end of the growing season.

Marion

[ChrissyRyan]

Not in my case.  I go golfing in pretty skirts.  I routinely talk with golfers how I am different.
It takes about two hours to walk nine holes of golf.  Plenty of time to answer any questions.

I wear female clothes when gardening.  I have a rose garden in the front yard that blooms from Memorial day to the end of the growing season.

Marion

Marion,

Your posts seem to indicate that you are proactive to strangers that you golf with about your clothing.  Is that correct?  Or do they ask you about that and you are very open?   Either way, I am glad you are comfortable being on the golf course as you are.  That is nice.

Chrissy

[Maid Marion]

Yes, I'll tell folks that I cross dress because I like to shop for clothes and they don't sell guy clothes in my size.  I'll also correct them if they think I'm a genetic girl. I can play good golf and talk at the same time.  It depends.  Sometimes folks just want to play golf and not talk.  Some folks decide that I'm worth talking to when they see how well I swing the golf club and behave on the golf course.  You can learn a lot about someone by how they play golf.  You can't fake a good golf game.

Cross dressing is pretty accurate considering that I'm not on HRT and don't plan to have any surgeries.
It is better to be misgendered while cross dressing than to be misgendered with a full beard by the TSA!