Hi Dears, I'm Carolina and I've been in The Place for quite a long time now - so long that its been suggested that I might consider updating "my profile" and do a new "introduction". Well, Ok.
At this point in life I am a - it's hard to say - aged human. "Where does the time go?" the song asks, and the simple but honest answer is "Away". But I'm surprised (and pleased) to discover that it's ok for time to go away - there are things that are lost (and I do miss the hair that used to cover my growing bald spot) but there are also things that are gained (a calmness and acceptance of life as it occurs).
Some of you may remember that I'm a - oh, lets see if I get the phrases right - "non-passable", "occasional", "sexually directed" as opposed to "desire to transition", "lesbian" Cross Dresser in a satisfactory "long term" (more than 30 years!) "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage. And because my time "to dress" is always quite limited, my activities are mostly just panties and a dress (seldom time for a bra and "falsies"), lipstick and perfume, and some (beloved and empowering) jewelry - things that can be taken off rapidly if need be.
So I'm the feminine part of a guy that I like very much. I was just telling a chat friend that we received a new stove from Home Depot today and I was happy that it was "my guy's" problem to remove the old one, move and install the new. (Which he did very well, way to go Hon!) I'm not a girl trying to get out of this man's body, I'm happy to let him face the inevitable day to day problems while providing him with quiet encouragement and fierce protection should anyone "dis" him.
Which is one of my regrets about the forum - "transitioning" seems to have become it's main focus and as a simple CD I don't find many comments of interest. Other than extending some love and affection to those who are struggling.
I've always enjoyed writing and also learning about other people's unusual experiences (often sexual). I have heard three "significant" incest stories over the years (one involving hiding a baseball bat in the girl's bed and her dad's resulting headache and trip to prison) as well as one interesting CD story (an acquaintance who had once managed a CD house of prostitution in London back in the 70's: "Lads paying good money to have sex with lads dressed like Chicks" he laughed").
So I thought to try and learn how my life might have been different if my wife had "discovered" in the early days of our marriage and I started looking for wives who had discovered that their husbands were CD's back in the 60s and 70s and what had happened between them. So far I haven't found any wives, although I have heard from some people who found my inquiries interesting. (I saw that there was one CD wife who had posted under the "significant other" topic in the Forum but she was so much younger that social norms had changed by then and her experiences wouldn't have been fraught with such social "anxiety".
Male Aging. I share this body with "my guy" and he's always been quite young and active. But there was "a slowdown" that started occurring around the age of 75. I know that most of you are far to young to even consider why that might be important information, but maybe your fathers and uncles may be nearing it. Life gets slightly harder after that point. Year by Year. As does sexual drive, although it seems to be dissipating much more slowly. But, for those who care for their fathers and older lovers, a man's identity is often bound up in his "abilities" and his "manliness". Be kind. Let old wounds fade as they are fading.
Well girls, consider yourselves updated and newly introduced. I'm only stopping by occasionally these days - Happy CD, not troubled TS you understand. But know I love all of you and am sympathetic to what you are going through.
Love, Carolina
