Triess

[TheBattler]

Hi Leela,

Thanks for your reply and Wellcome. I have also recenty join this forum and is it realy great. It is interesting the you do not identify yourself as a TG or TS as I am starting to think this is where I belong.

Alan

[Leela Rani]

Alan or do you prefer to be called Alice

What's in a name as the bard put it.

Since I am not going to have any physical change, I only think of myself as the person really inside of me. I cannot adequately describe the obsessive feeling in me that I am a woman. That is why I do not think of myself as TS or TG. Fortunately, no power on this earth can prevent me from feeling what I do. And I have not expressed this to my family or near relatives, friends etc. I will spend the remaining years as a woman inside and a man to the outside world. After all these years, that does not pose a problem for me. Thank Susan's place whereI can express my inner most feelings without any reservation and like minded persons will understand my predicament.

Thank you Al.

Leela

[TheBattler]

Sometimes I like AL because it can be shortened from both names.

Alan for now is best. I did change my user name to Alice but quickly changed it back. Obviously it is still work in progress as for me as now it seams a big jump, even though it is a tiny step.

Alan

[melissa_girl]

Just a note on the cross-dresser vs. fetishistic TV.  I have noticed that the cross-dresser will choose a female name for themselves whereas the FTV is only concerned about the clothes and not the femininity it brings and not bother with a name.

Melissa

[Kate Thomas]

Melissa
I was just curious about where you are at in your transion timeline, when do you expect to have the surgury done? how long ago did you start the process.


huggs
Kate

[Caitlin Rose]

I specifically replying to Alexandra's comments about the political leanings of CDers:

Oh...I have been a guest here sooo many times.  I "date back" to Susan's old forum...the one without all the categories and subdivisions, if anyone else remembers.  I just joined this forum yesterday, because Alexandra's post was so upsetting that I had to reply.

I'm a 60+ year old heterosexual crossdresser.  Like many of us, I began too many years ago to remember.  And, yes, my activities did have fetish content, but evolved into so much more.

But to get to the point....those generalizations about the political leanings of crossdressers gall me!

I'm a LEFTY!  Loud and proud.  My associations with "movements" in favor of civil liberties, civil rights, free speech, against war and repression go way back to high school. 

Even today there are times when I'm not sure if the best part of "wearing girly accessories when in guy mode" is becaude they make me feel pretty, or because they irritate the pi** out of some right wing religous moron!

I'm sure there are some sneaky CDers who "hide behind" a politically conservative facade because they feel it enhances their "cover."  They do not represent all of us.

Caitlin

[Alexandra]

They do not represent all of us.

I never said they did. I said one is more likely to find "right leaning" folks in the CD crowd than in the TG/TS crowd. Yes or no? If you have some factual evidence showing this is not the case, feel free to tell us about it or post a link!

I know I keep bringing this up, but one shouldn't automatically assume I'm (or anyone else) is "generalizing" because it stifles discussion.


Posted at: March 10, 2006, 12:51:07 AM

I'm sure there are some sneaky CDers who "hide behind" a politically conservative facade because they feel it enhances their "cover." 

But on the other hand, why are they arguing openly for conservative causes in a crossdressers forum?

Anyway, if I managed to get you to sign up and voice your opinion, even if it is to disagree with me, I'd say we're making progress in getting people to engage in political discussion on things that concerns us.


Posted at: March 10, 2006, 12:59:22 AMI will say this . . . I worry about other new CDrs who visit that other CDing website and see posts where the forum owner states she is "GLAD Bush won" and other members argue that they need to distance themselves from gay people. The newbie would be stunned at the amount of self-destructive and bigot behavior being suggested and may quickly return to the closet and never come out again!

[rana]

Hey Alexandra

You have brought this issue up.  I think the burden is on you to show that there are more "right leaning" folks in the CD crowd than in the TG/TS crowd, than expect others to prove the opposite.   Anyway what has a persons political leanings got to do with all this? 

You know this issue reminds me of others; gay priests in the Catholic Church, same sex marriages for example.  Where any objection to the inclusion of gay people is immediately labled anti - gay now this is inflammatory language and you as a journalist would know that.

This thread is about Triess.  While I know little about this organisation - what I do know is that it is NOT anti gay, nor is it political.  I have gathered this from what I have read about it.

If there was an organisation that I would be prepared to join it is Triess and I truely do not want it to be a gay organisation (which it could well be if it catered to CD & TG & TS). 

In fact I don't know what the purpose of discussion about the nature of Triess would serve.   Get it to change its nature?  Make its members feel guilty?   I dunno

[Alexandra]

Hi Rana,

I think the burden is on you to show that there are more "right leaning" folks in the CD crowd than in the TG/TS crowd, than expect others to prove the opposite.

I posted what I know, I'm not expecting anyone to take the time and conduct a study to dispute what I'm suggesting, however, if somebody just happened to have some facts or links handy to further the debate, why not post it?

Anyway what has a persons political leanings got to do with all this?

Actually, everything!   I'm just still kind of floored that people would openly support the very people that would (or are) oppress(ing) them! I'm not just talking CDrs here. I've always had an interest in people who knowingly take actions that will result in their own personal destruction. Really, how can a CDr support a politican who will do everything to distance themselves from CDrs, and perhaps use the word "perverse" in reference to them?

While I know little about this organisation - what I do know is that it is NOT anti gay, nor is it political. 

We'll have to agree to disagree. Exclusion IS anti-gay. Nobody is saying they must state it is an "open to gays" organization. What is preferred that nobody is excluded -- open to all CDrs. The subject of sexual preference need not come up. As for a political organization . . . it may or may not be Tri-Ess's intent to be one, but as it often happens, when an organization becomes large enough, it become political on size alone unless, of course, the organization makes it a policy to remain neutral and not speak or engage in activism on issues and agendas.

Make its members feel guilty?   I dunno

One would hope so -- why not have an organization that is open to anyone that needs the help? I really don't see a need to exclude anyone. While I would never join ANY organization that exludes people based on race, gender, gender choice, or sexual preference, but if I WAS a member of Tri-Ess, I'd be calling for openess.



If people want to mostly disagree with me, I'm okay with it. I always feel I've make progress by bringing things to the table for all to witness. What happens afterwards is out of my hands.

[Kate Thomas]

Alexandra

One of the foundation cornerstones that the triess sisterhood is built upon is that of hetrosexual identy.
was that cornerstone layed on solid bedrock, or on shifting sand? Time will tell. It is the duty of the membeship to keep the watch on that. It is my opinion that  it rests on solid bedrock.

Realise that the cornerstone supports much more than the sisterhood. its greatist load to bear is that of our signifant others.  They freely chose to support us and our idenity. without that cornerstone for them to stand upon, other choices would likely be made. understanding would be that much harder to get to. Any desision to replace that stone must involve both our members and our Signifiant Others



The truth is I see no further reason to disscus triess membership policy on this forum. replacing a foundation stone is something for the triess leadership  to discuss, if they have any reason to do so.

Kate

[Alexandra]

Kate, I respect your opinion . . .

There is another troubling item that I haven't mentioned . . . most all the gains that CDrs enjoy allowing them to crossdress (relatively) freely in this country today came as a result of sacrifices by their GLBT sisters and brothers during the past several decades, and here we are today with Tri-Ess distancing themselves from the very people that fought for the freedom crossdressers enjoy.

How does one reconcile with that?

[k.]

What I really want to know is what is Tri-Ess doing to actively better the CDer's position in society. Its almost like the organization is ashamed of itself. You NEVER see any rep on any national talk show on television, or radio for that matter furthering the cause and effect of the CD phenomenon.

Maybe it reflects what MOST cds honestly really want, and that is to remain closeted. Sure, they meet and go out on a few outings, maybe have some events thru the year, but it does not seem to me that the group is generally visible amongst the pulic eye at all. Whereas there is ALOT of GLBT activism going on, in the news.

Alot of the TS are coming out in mass media, but you NEVER see any straightr up CDs. Why?
It seems to me like that would be a perfect vehicle for Tri-Ess to get out there and participate in some of these broadcast discussions (Larry King, 60 Minutes, etc). Especially while the attention span is hot on the heel of Transamerica. Seem like the organization would actively pursue avenues to let the public know the differences in TS/CD.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but is TriEss just one big ole closet itself. Is the organization ashamed of itself?

I came out to myself and attended some of their functions in the late 90s, but went back into the closet because I felt that the level of support hey gave me to go out in public was minimal. I felt as if I was outed I would still have nowhere to turn. Sam Walls went down in flames, so did Peter Oiler, I did not see TriEss doing or saying anything on their behalf, what gives with this group?  At the end of the day and where it really counts (discrimination, etc) they seem to drop the ball pretty bad.

[LostInTime]

When I first started to really grapple with my identity, I ran across the listing for the local Tri-ess chapter.  I contacted them and was told that it was just for straight crossdressers and their spouses.  That came directly from them.  I never did go over there (even though I thought of myself as a CD and straight) and later accepted the fact that I am TS.  I brought up what I was told by the organization during a support group meeting and other TS women echoed that they were told the same.  One had belonged to the group but once she came out as TS, she was harassed until she quit.

Today that chapter is a lot different.  I do not know who, what, or why as I have little to do with any local T groups.

[Louise]

When I became more open with myself and my wife about my crossdressing about seven years ago, I joined Tri-Ess as well as joining a local TG support group that was open to both CD and TS members.  There is no local Tri-Ess chapter where I live.  About all I got from Tri-Ess was the quarterly magazine.  My wife also received a newsletter addressed specifically to spouses of crossdressers.  Since Tri-Ess is focused on straight CDs, my wife felt very comfortable reading the material from them.  She also became comfortable enough to attend some of the support group meetings that included both TS and CD.  I dropped my Tri-Ess membership, since I no longer thought that it provided much benefit to me.  I think it can be of benefit to CDs who need to know that there are others like themselves.  It is not a politically active group, but a number of members do make appearances in educational settings such as college classes.

Compared to membership in the local TG support group, Tri-Ess was far less effective in helping me deal with my own self-acceptance.  It is also less effective than my membership here at Susan's.  I'd rate Tri-Ess as a 3 out of 10 on the scale of TG-effectiveness, membership in an open support group as an 8 out of 10, and membership here at Susan's as an 8 out of 10.  The benefit of the support group is that you have the opportunity for face to face contact that we do not have here.  Both this forum and the support group are effective for meeting others like oneself and for meeting others who are at different spots in the TG landscape.  While Tri-Ess can help a CD come to some self-acceptance and it can help a spouse come to some understanding, it is pretty useless for anyone who identifies as TS.

[Sarah Louise]

I called the local Triess group a couple of years ago about coming and they told me that I could come, but I would probably feel uncomfortable since most members were CD's and wouldn't relate to me.

Sarah

[Kate Thomas]

I found tri ess just  a day before i found susans. i live on an island in the north pacific (kodiak) so i wont be attending any local chapter meetings very soon, there are only four other triess members in alaska each is seperated by at least 350 miles to 1200 miles (no state chapter) the bbs forum at triess is not very active, most of the comunication happens on a listserver so threds come and go quickly. so for me susans is much more of a support. I imagin regular chapter meetings and the face to face networking would make for better support, but...    I must admitt is is a great comfort knowing that i am not alone. I felt that they were very upfront explaning their membership policys and goals. I may get together with some of the other alaska sisters during a trip this summer.

I think that Louise paints a very acurate picture of the orgnization, including her ratings. I am likely to follow her foot steps and not renew my membership If i ever  get to the lower fourtyeight  i might try to attend a meeting.

Kate