Thank you, Renate. Your booklist is impressive; thank you for that, too. I admit to being afraid, and trying to work through some of the same questions you all have been debating.
I know I do not wish to transition to attract men! When I was 14, standing in the drugstore, reading about Christine Jorgensen because I dared not buy the book and take it home, two ideas brought me to a dead stop: I did not want to look like a showgirl and I did not want men to find me attractive. Of course, I also had no idea who to talk to nor what to do.
Nor do I wish to attract women. I am already married to my best friend whom I do not wish to alienate. I was in the middle of divorcing my first wife. That took seven years. It was the first and only time I broke off a relationship with a woman.
I told this new woman I did not want a sexual relationship; she need not worry I would seduce her. I merely wanted a friend to be with and to be able to talk about anything and everything. Her response was "Suppose I seduce you?"
Then one morning a couple of years later, she asked me whom I would rather be married to her or my wife. I was surprised and asked: "Would you marry me?" Instead of answering me, she said: "I have to call [her close male friend, a student minister]". She invited him to join us at a restaurant to celebrate our engagement.
My wife is the epitome of Type A, while I, blessed with that type of ADD usually reserved for girls, am the dreamer. I remember once starting a conversation by pointing out that she had so many masculine qualities and I, so many feminine ones. I said I knew I wanted to be a woman; did she ever want to be a man? She said no, which ended the conversation.
She says my mind is wierd, and I quess it is. Fortunately, I have a little more time to wrestle with these gender conundrums. Please keep writing, it helps me sort out the issues.
Warmest regards,
Simone
