I was wondering....

[Pica Pica]

One of Nero's posts in the androgyne section got me thinking about when I believed I was TS. One of the things that really lead me in that direction was all the talk of how much better people felt after transition. How much more settled, calm they were. How much more assertive they found themselves. How much self confidence and cosiness they had.

And I was wondering about how much of this came from becoming the target gender fully in presentation, socialisation and stuff. And how much was from setting a difficult goal and then achieving it. The lessons learnt along the way, like in a road movie.

So, yeah thoughts if any.

[Wing Walker]

One of Nero's posts in the androgyne section got me thinking about when I believed I was TS. One of the things that really lead me in that direction was all the talk of how much better people felt after transition. How much more settled, calm they were. How much more assertive they found themselves. How much self confidence and cosiness they had.

And I was wondering about how much of this came from becoming the target gender fully in presentation, socialisation and stuff. And how much was from setting a difficult goal and then achieving it. The lessons learnt along the way, like in a road movie.

So, yeah thoughts if any.

Hello, Pica,

I have benefited greatly from doing my physical transformation, my HRT, and interactions with people in shops and stores as well as in the workplace.

From the first day I took estrogen to this second I felt supremely confident that I would pass.  In the beginning I knew that I was not the most femme TS there was --- yet.  I walked, talked, and behaved like it was done, that I was a woman, and that I could go anywhere without fear or lack of confidence.  I never sought a "T-friendly" place to buy from, and I didn't buy what i didn't try on.

Pica, the huge element in my life is estrogen.  I was born to be a woman and the effect of estrogen on me was beyond profound.  It was joyous!  I watched as it worked wonders on my physical brain by changing the neural pathways.  My view of myself and others, of my life and love, my temperament, of my place in this universe and my empathic abilities and feelings became more sensitive.

I never saw what was mine from birth to be a difficult endeavour.  I shared it with as many others in transition as I could.

There were always friends from the TS support group in my home.  We shared our experiences, our bodies, minds, and souls changing to the female gender.  One of my TS friends called my apartment "a home for wayward ->-bleeped-<-s!"  LOL!!!

I hope that this helps clear the air for you, Pica.  If I have wandered or become unclear, please, write to me.

Sincerely,

Wing Walker

[Pica Pica]

thanks for the answers,

oddly enough they both answer my actual question and address something I have been thinking.

Because I have lost my way, not with my gender, but with my direction in life, and I have been losing interest in my previously all abiding interests...

but you have said, both of you how easy it is to recentre yourself, by accepting the past and moving onto the future.

Which is a lesson I reckon anyone should learn....

...cheers

[deviousxen]

The whole concentration affect thing was one of the only things I kinda feared. The more I think about it though, I already have ADHD and racing thoughts every day already. I'm just curious what would happen to my brain in that respect. I'd love to feel calm for once and less depressed. I mean, I've certainly lost interest in what I love. Not that I don't do what I like doing anymore, its more like the fact that I've finally gotten the tools to create massive amounts of artwork and music, and It feels like its going to waste and I'm just not, "Feeling It".

[Veetje]

All the things I read so far about MtF HRT have made me drool except the chances on certain illnesses(is that true?) but still the thought of SRS horrifies me since I dont want to lose my penis. I think thats one of the reasons I dont classify as a TS, other reason is is that I am honestly not feeling 100% woman to go for that.

I mean; moodswings, crying out (loud, lol:P), breats, softer skin, more hip, a more feminine face, less body hair.... its like I cant wait....too bad these dutch arent really helping TG's

Anyway Pica...the thought does come up sometimes , just like you..but isnt that just part of being a gendervariant: doubting and non-conforming thoughts? ^^

[Sarah]

All the things I read so far about MtF HRT have made me drool except the chances on certain illnesses(is that true?) but still the thought of SRS horrifies me since I dont want to lose my penis. I think thats one of the reasons I dont classify as a TS, other reason is is that I am honestly not feeling 100% woman to go for that.

I mean; moodswings, crying out (loud, lol:P), breats, softer skin, more hip, a more feminine face, less body hair.... its like I cant wait....too bad these dutch arent really helping TG's

Anyway Pica...the thought does come up sometimes , just like you..but isnt that just part of being a gendervariant: doubting and non-conforming thoughts? ^^

You can certainly still be TS.
TS is not simply the desire for surgery.
A lot of people don't for a lot of reasons.
Some simply prefer to wait until the tech gets better,
some don't want at all,
and some just can't afford it.
There are a lot of reasons, and none of these has anything to do with your gender and who you are.
If your are female, you are female. Regardless of what your body does.

Sara

[deviousxen]

I'm of the group that wants the real thing... Hence, I wait for science. I still consider myself TS or TG cause -Trans is obvious. The only other thing in question is semantics.