Us Childless Ones

[Nero]

It hurts. really it does. To know I can never have a child. A neighbour couple next door had a little girl - I used to watch out my window - watch her run to her dad when he got home. Watch him scoop her up and she'd laugh and she'd yell 'Daddy'. Watch them play together, dance together. And it made me ache with longing. To have a child, a son or daughter look at me like that.

All I can do is hope to find a lady with kids so I can at least be 'stepdaddy'.

Any of ya'll feel me?

[Tanya1]

yes, I understand...

[tinkerbell]

It's very painful indeed, but getting all depressed about it is not going to get me anywhere, so my view is to make peace with myself and accept the things that I cannot change.  Perhaps next time (in another life) things will be a wee bit brighter...anyway..

tink

[Sarah]

This one's for you Nero!
You realy are amazing!
Don't worry, I love you to!
You have fathered a lot of kindness here!



Sara

[Christo]

It's very painful indeed, but getting all depressed about it is not going to get me anywhere, so my view is to make peace with myself and accept the things that I cannot change.  Perhaps next time (in another life) things will be a wee bit brighter...anyway..

tink

yep we cant have evrything right? u got me, ur family, friends, cats.  u got a lot of people

[Berliegh]

It hurts. really it does. To know I can never have a child. A neighbour couple next door had a little girl - I used to watch out my window - watch her run to her dad when he got home. Watch him scoop her up and she'd laugh and she'd yell 'Daddy'. Watch them play together, dance together. And it made me ache with longing. To have a child, a son or daughter look at me like that.

All I can do is hope to find a lady with kids so I can at least be 'stepdaddy'.

Any of ya'll feel me?

I feel the same.....long before transition I have never been able to have children either way so I have always envied those who are able to have or produce children...and it is a large void in my life...

I used to get comments sometimes from people who had children...'oh you never wanted children' ...and it would be heart breaking.......

It also must be heartbreaking for those who are able to have children and then loose them through their own transition....it's a bit of a catch 22....

[Dev]

My g/f and I have been talking about having kids.  We have been talking to her doctor and looking at donor packages to get somebody as close to me as possible in looks and heritage.  Our biggest fear is age.  She has never had kids before and has never wanted them until recently.  She told her mom (which knows about me) and her mom is super excited.  We are both in our late 30s and I don't want to rush it, but I feel like age is rushing it for us if we want one of our own.  Adoption is also super expensive and hard to do with our lives in transition it seems and I would feel a much stronger bond with a child I raised from day 1.

So I do feel your pain currently and if all goes well I will have a child, I just hope I don't feel like a grandparent raising a child.  I really want to be active and a good parent.  I just wish I knew what age was too late to have a first kid really.  I know its not set in stone, but I have such a bad feeling that gets worse as I get older.

[Keira]

Isn't there also adoption?
Plenty of women can't have children.
One of my GG friends had ovarian cancer at 29
and adopted a child from China.
Is she not a women because of that?
Is the child not hers because of this?
Biologically no. But, otherwise, in all other
aspects, in all the ones that matter,
it is her child.

Of course, it all depends on how
the adoption agencies treat you
and what is your legal status
regarding adoption.

If your legally female or male and stable,
in theory, you should have the
same right to adopt as any other GG or GM.

[Nero]

Isn't there also adoption?
Plenty of women can't have children.
One of my GG friends had ovarian cancer at 29
and adopted a child from China.
Is she not a women because of that?
Is the child not hers because of this?
Biologically no. But, otherwise, in all other
aspects, in all the ones that matter,
it is her child.

Of course, it all depends on how
the adoption agencies treat you
and what is your legal status
regarding adoption.

If your legally female or male and stable,
in theory, you should have the
same right to adopt as any other GG or GM.

Oh I hope so. I hope you're right. I hope being trans would not disqualify me from adoption.

[lady amarant]

I had the chance to be a kinda-parent for a while when I was married. My wife had a little boy from a previous relationship, and I met her when he was 8 months old.

Both the most wonderful and the most painful memory I have. I want to be a mom, have children, but that won't ever be. To me that is probably the worst thing about GID. Knowing you were meant to be a woman, a mother and knowing that it's just not going to ever be.

And yeah, there is adoption, an option I'd definitely look at later in life, but the wonder of carrying a life inside you, of having your child so close to you, of ... well, that can't be. I'll love a child I adopt as much as any biological child I might have had, but creating life like that, nurturing it with your own body and being ... I'm gonna stop now. Can't afford to cry at work.

[Nero]

I had the chance to be a kinda-parent for a while when I was married. My wife had a little boy from a previous relationship, and I met her when he was 8 months old.

Both the most wonderful and the most painful memory I have. I want to be a mom, have children, but that won't ever be. To me that is probably the worst thing about GID. Knowing you were meant to be a woman, a mother and knowing that it's just not going to ever be.

And yeah, there is adoption, an option I'd definitely look at later in life, but the wonder of carrying a life inside you, of having your child so close to you, of ... well, that can't be. I'll love a child I adopt as much as any biological child I might have had, but creating life like that, nurturing it with your own body and being ... I'm gonna stop now. Can't afford to cry at work.

good morning Lady A.

I cannot begin to imagine the pain of women (trans or natal) who are barren. I know that bearing a child, giving life is a natural, instinctual thing for women and I cannot imagine the sorrow.
Nothing to say really, except that I feel for you and all barren women.

[Sandy]

I feel for you and all barren women.

thank you

[Sarah]

You know, one of these days I hpoe technology improves so that we won't have to go through this anymore.
It would be nice to have kids.
Kids are sweet
I think that someday stemcell research might progress to the point where we can do that.
That would be nice.
I love you guys.
You know, if you do want kids, there are a lot of kids who don't have moms or dads who need a home. They could realy use parents as kind sa people in this forum.
A lot of kids don't have good homes because of thier parrents.
Some like ours could provide a warmth in thier life that wouldnt' otherwise be there.
(Hugs)
Sara

[Sandy]

You know, one of these days I hpoe technology improves so that we won't have to go through this anymore.
It would be nice to have kids.
Kids are sweet
I think that someday stemcell research might progress to the point where we can do that.
That would be nice.
I love you guys.
You know, if you do want kids, there are a lot of kids who don't have moms or dads who need a home. They could realy use parents as kind sa people in this forum.
A lot of kids don't have good homes because of thier parrents.
Some like ours could provide a warmth in thier life that wouldnt' otherwise be there.
(Hugs)
Sara

Having investigated adoption when I was with my last spouse, I found out that since I had already had children, I would be ineligible for adoption.  I also didn't want to buy a baby either.

Now, of course, it might be different, but I think my age may disqualify me this time.

Now I live for those moments with my granddaughter.  We're best buds, her and I.  And her mom is pregnant again so hopefully there'll be another child to care for soon.

If I could bear children, I would do it in a heartbeat.  I've always been maternal and raising a child as a mother seems so fulfilling...  Being a father was fulfilling as well, but I always yearned to be the mom...

Sara, if I could clone my own uterus, and ovaries(!), I'd jump at the chance!  If nothing else I wouldn't have to take all those estrogen shots!

-Sandy

[lady amarant]

Thanks Nero. The way you said that really means alot.

[Patroklos]

I'm terrified of having a child, would make a terrible parent, and I'm only 18... However, it still stings every time I think about the one I lost. In that way, I can sympathize.