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Abott & Costello meet Windows....

Started by Chaunte, March 22, 2006, 10:27:48 PM

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Chaunte

I had to pass this one along...

Chaunte

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to
REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who
sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

  If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
  "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

  ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

  COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
  about buying a computer.

  ABBOTT: Mac?

  COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.

  ABBOTT: Your computer?

  COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

  ABBOTT: Mac?

  COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

  ABBOTT: What about Windows?

  COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

  ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

  COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

  ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

  COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

  ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

  COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
  proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

  ABBOTT: Office.

  COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

  ABBOTT: I just did.

  COSTELLO: You just did what?

  ABBOTT: Recommend something.

  COSTELLO: You recommended something?

  ABBOTT: Yes.

  COSTELLO: For my office?

  ABBOTT: Yes.

  COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

  ABBOTT: Office.

  COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

  ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

  COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
  sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

  ABBOTT: Word.

  COSTELLO: What word?

  ABBOTT: Word in Office.

  COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

  ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

  COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

  ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".

  COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some
  straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
  can track my money with?

  ABBOTT: Money.

  COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?

  ABBOTT: Money.

  COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

  ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

  COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?

  ABBOTT: Money.

  COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

  ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

  COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

  ABBOTT: One copy.

  COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?

  ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

  COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

  ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

  (A few days later)

  ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

  COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

  ABBOTT: Click on "START"...........
  •  

Sandi

And continuing on....
_______________________

.......

Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.

Abbott: I know, you press the Start button-

Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

Abbott: I did.

Costello: When?

Abbott: When I told you to press the Start button.

Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

Abbott: To shut off the computer.

Costello: I press Start to stop.

Abbott: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.

Abbott: Start

Costello: Start what?

Abbott: Start button.

Costello: Start button to do what?

Abbott: Shut down.

Costello: You don't have to get rude!

Abbott: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

Costello: Then say what you mean.

Abbott: To shut down the computer, press-

Costello: Don't say, "Start!"

Abbott: Then what do you want me to say?

Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

Abbott: But that's what you do.

Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

Abbott: Don't be ridiculous.

Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.

Abbott: What are you talking about?

Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.
  •  

madison

Oh my goodness, that is hilarious.

Please tell me that one of you wrote that!

Start.

  •  

stephanie_craxford

  •  

Sandi

Madison, I have time on my hands, but not that much....

Both versions are widely seen around the internet. Just search on "Abott & Costello meet Windows."


Sandi
  •  

Gill

Thank Chaunte - made my day this one did.

Gill
  •  

NightAngel

 :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :icon_lol: :eusa_clap: :eusa_clap: great one, I even send him to two of my friends Thank you Chaunte and Sandi  :icon_wave:

Michelle
  •  

Teri Anne

Abbott: What are you talking about?

Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

---continuing----

Abbott:  You can't just stop.  You have to log out.

Costello:  Log out?  What am I?  A lumberjack?

Abbott:  No, of course not.  Don't you understand computers?

Costello:  Why can't they understand me?  Can't I just pull the plug?

Abbott:  No, you'll get an error message when you re-boot.

Costello:  Re-boot?  (sotto:  I'll give him a re-boot!)

Abbott:  Yes, that's when it turns on again.

Costello:  But I wanted it off.

Abbott:  It goes off and then on.

Costello:  Whhhy!  I wanted it off.

Abbott:  It does that before it turns on again.

Costello:  I quit!

Abbott:  Yes, that'll work, too.


Teri Anne
  •