the 10/10 test:)

[deniz]

I read all the time messages concerning going full time.time. And i understand you mean clothes, make up, shoes.feelings,acceptance etc.
My way of going full time(that means wearing completely feminime clothes and shoes) was by taking a test:) Only if (or when) the first 10 people i will come across will call me miss(provided their are not my friends and don't know me......only then i am strong enough to go full time:) As a result i realise that Full time comes a lot before wearing woman's clothes.Do you agree.??Has anyone done sth relevant.?

[Berliegh]

I read all the time messages concerning going full time.time. And i understand you mean clothes, make up, shoes.feelings,acceptance etc.
My way of going full time(that means wearing completely feminime clothes and shoes) was by taking a test:) Only if (or when) the first 10 people i will come across will call me miss(provided their are not my friends and don't know me......only then i am strong enough to go full time:) As a result i realise that Full time comes a lot before wearing woman's clothes.Do you agree.??Has anyone done sth relevant.?

A much better test is going out in jeans, trainers, no make up and a denim jacket or hoodie....if you are still called miss....then you are transitioning......

[jenny_]

Like Renate said, everybody chooses a different time to go full time, and the order of priorities in transitioning.  you can go straight away, or wait until electro/laser, hrt, passing etc.
there's no right or wrong time to go fulltime, just whatever works for you

for me going full-time was a gradual process, like as soon as i told my friends that i was trans, i started wearing female clothes, makeup all the time.  but it started of with me being more androgynous and progressing from there, so there was never a 'moment' when i started being fulltime, it just happened

jenny
x x

[Cortana]

To tell you the honest truth, I just did it. I got my clothes, I already had the shoes (because of my having such small feet), and I went out full time. It was scary at first but I felt VERY comfortable overall and I was always getting "She'd" and "Her'd" and "Miss'd" from the start. Now I'm going out on my own full time without my parents, going to classes for my home schooling program, going to the mall, ect. and I don't as much as a strong look from anyone, sometimes I even get checked out. So really I think it's all about just doing it, being who you were always meant to be and knowing it.

[Terra]

I was kinda a mix between Krista and Jenny. I was reaching the point of androgynous and simply jumped from there. I had my date, and no matter what happened I was going full time from there. To be honest, I don't think anyone has really noticed.

I never really got the importance of how you carry yourself till then. But even with electro mostly done and clothes, it took being confident to really be female. Or at least, being able to pretend you are confident.

Do it when you feel you can, and feel mostly safe in doing so.

[Berliegh]

I think you should be confident in looking and being female without the aid of feminine clothing or props.....I can go out and do my gardening job in overalls and people comment that there's a girl doing someone's gardening...

[Dawn Labelle]

I read all the time messages concerning going full time.time. And i understand you mean clothes, make up, shoes.feelings,acceptance etc.
My way of going full time(that means wearing completely feminime clothes and shoes) was by taking a test:) Only if (or when) the first 10 people i will come across will call me miss(provided their are not my friends and don't know me......only then i am strong enough to go full time:) As a result i realise that Full time comes a lot before wearing woman's clothes.Do you agree.??Has anyone done sth relevant.?

A much better test is going out in jeans, trainers, no make up and a denim jacket or hoodie....if you are still called miss....then you are transitioning......

bull, thats called you passed without makeup and andro clothing which simply means you're lucky or you naturally appear femme, passing has nothing to do with transitioning.

To the OP: I think its a good way to test the waters on how you will be perceived when you are out and about, but dont let other people's reactions dictate wether or not you will transition / go full time. Do what you need to do

Dawn

[soldierjane]

It's a good idea, but don't take it too far: a lot of people will not call you miss or madam even though they are gendering you female. If you have taken estrogen and are past the midway point (ie, don't pass easily as male anymore) people may not gender you either way but see you mostly as female and still will not address you as madam (they won't call you sir either). I don't know if you are, but some people seem to think that if you are a tall woman they don't need to offer as many niceties as they offer to shorter women.
Being madam'd is a huge step, but not the defining parameter by which you should choose whether to go fulltime or not.

[Berliegh]

bull, thats called you passed without makeup and andro clothing which simply means you're lucky or you naturally appear femme, passing has nothing to do with transitioning.

Dawn

I must be getting in wrong all these years? I thought passing was the main objective of transitioning? otherwise it's not a transition from male to female, it's a transition from male to male...

I think wearing industrial work clothes like I do for one of my gardening jobs and absolutely no make up is a good 10/10 test.

[Berliegh]

I thought passing was the main objective of transitioning?

Well, I think that is why you and I will never see eye-to-eye, Berliegh.

The goal of transition is happiness.  Period.

Renate

I don't think you see eye to eye with many people Renate .....

My goal of happiness is transition......Period.

[Maddie Secutura]

I think I would do the 10/10 test too.  Then again being a college student I wear jeans and t-shirts all the time which are  gender neutral.  I think the full time thing for me would be a gradual thing as well.  There won't be a day where I suddenly say that I'm full time.  I know what I am, and full time for me will start when I get kicked out of the men's restroom.

[Schala]

I went full-time before I had any bras, before I had estrogen. I had few clothes then. In a winter coat I passed, without one I made people go WTF (too androgynous, not gendered male, or female).

I remember the date because that's the day I had my first set of earrings done, April 13th 2006.

I never had any electrolysis, yet I can pass easily anyway. Getting rid of my acne / growing smallish breasts was the difference between WTF and gendered female 100%.

My goal is both passing and happiness, I'd venture that my happiness is somewhat dependant on my passing.

[Dawn Labelle]

bull, thats called you passed without makeup and andro clothing which simply means you're lucky or you naturally appear femme, passing has nothing to do with transitioning.

Dawn

I must be getting in wrong all these years? I thought passing was the main objective of transitioning? otherwise it's not a transition from male to female, it's a transition from male to male...

I think wearing industrial work clothes like I do for one of my gardening jobs and absolutely no make up is a good 10/10 test.

what if you had been a 6'6" 300+lbs robin williams level of body hair linebacker as a guy, and you knew that you'd never pass 100%, hell, you probably wouldn't pass 50%, would you still transition?. Why or why not?.

what if by transitioning, you'd end up as a real ugly or very manly woman, would you still do it?

on the flip side, what about the thin effeminate man with long hair who gets mistaken for a woman constantly (yet is not trans in any way shape or form), are they transitioning?, of course not.

My issue with this is that youre telling a transwoman who doesn't always pass that she hasn't transitioned, your basing the entire transition on her looks and how well she fools the muggles which I argue is irrelevant as it discounts the majority who simply aren't able to do this, yet due to their own dysphoria feel the need to be different.

[Keira]

Well, if nobody thinks your a women than yourself, the social dysphoria won't be
cured at all. So, passing is not just lookism or fooling others!

You just don't want to be different from other women.

Even manish women rarely look like men.

Maybe 5% of TS can never pass, and while they can live OK lives
if they are accepted, they are not living the lives they wanted
to live. I've talked to a few of them and not being able to
pass at all, is something painfull for them.

[Ms Bev]

I don't believe in "tests" of passing to determine whether or not you should or should not transition, or go full time.
I transitioned for me, Beverly, to make my body more congruent with my mind.  Social acceptance is very important to me, but if it were not possible, I would have transitioned for my own sanity, regardless.  Granted, it would have generated a whole new line of baggage, but not the kind that can make you as miserable as not transitioning at all.

You will absolutely know when the time is right.....when it feels imperative, when you are itchy-crazy to match the outer self to the inner self.
Birds leave the safety of the nest when they know it is their time to fly.
Don't let society make the decision for you with silly tests of preparedness.



Bev

[michelle]

Hi yah all,

I think that we are always in the state of becoming like in calculus the more effeminate we become the more likely we will be accepted as women, or maybe at the least as not men.    I feel that today what it means to be female is being redefined by everyone of the female gender.   Look at America's Top Model is the one judge male or female,  even the contestants were puzzled.   We males to females live on the female side of the equation and we need to feel free to find ourselves as females whatever that means to each of us.  I feel that judging each other does little to help us adjust.   I doubt that I will ever be accepted as a barbie, but someday I may be accepted as a Clamity Jane and if I go out in a dress most people will not even notice or see anything out of place.
Michelle

[soldierjane]

Passing *is* very important, no doubt about it. Passing allows you to be yourself fully, to lower your guard and to concentrate on other things related to moving on from transition (what we look forward to). No complete gender transition can be successful without at least a "most of the people most of the time" situation while out and about, that is pretty much established.
Still, everyone has different ideas about what constitutes a successful transition looks wise and it shows: for some it's to look like a model, for some just to look at home in their target gender, for some a more androgynous female appearance (yes, there are butch dyke transwomen). In any case, going full time should be more about freedom of expression and feeling ready to take the leap than whether someone is madam'd or sir'd "10/10".

[Berliegh]

what if you had been a 6'6" 300+lbs robin williams level of body hair linebacker as a guy, and you knew that you'd never pass 100%, hell, you probably wouldn't pass 50%, would you still transition?. Why or why not?.

No..

what if by transitioning, you'd end up as a real ugly or very manly woman, would you still do it?

No..

on the flip side, what about the thin effeminate man with long hair who gets mistaken for a woman constantly (yet is not trans in any way shape or form), are they transitioning?, of course not.

I was a very effeminate man with long hair who got mistaken for a woman constantly....I even got pulled up in Asda (Walmart) at the time (2003) for having a male bank card and they wouldn't believe it was mine..

My issue with this is that youre telling a transwoman who doesn't always pass that she hasn't transitioned, your basing the entire transition on her looks and how well she fools the muggles which I argue is irrelevant as it discounts the majority who simply aren't able to do this, yet due to their own dysphoria feel the need to be different.

I understand your point completely but we should be able to have free choice on what we see as our own goals. How can I be bashing by just saying that the objective for me personally is to be percieved as female.....and surely that that is why people want to transition in the first place. They don't transition because they want to look male.....otherwise they would stay as they are...

[Frank]

  I guess I'm just wierd.
  Over the years I have found that women always tell me I have beautiful handwriting and a lovely girlish voice. Some have told me that I would make a better woman than man. On some occassions when I answer the phone the party on the other end has asked if "the man of the house" or "your husband" was home.
  Some women even tease me about being girlish. I tend to take it as a compliment rather than cruel.
  I am flattered when given compliments on being girlish and also on being rugged looking. I just accept it because the people think they are being nice.
  I guess the truth is it wouldn't matter to me one way or another anymore. I'm not what my clothes show. Nor am I what is defined by the shell I reside in.
  If I stayed in a male body I would be content. If I had my body altered to female I would be content. I'm just content being me.
  Sometimes I feel male and sometimes I feel female. Most of the time I don't even think about it because that was what brought so much pain in times past.
  I hope this isn't offensive to anyone but I don't know of many others that think like this. Or at least I haven't noticed if others do.
  Like I said; I'm probably just wierd because I really don't know what or who I am.
  I guess I'm just me.

  Frank

[Schala]

on the flip side, what about the thin effeminate man with long hair who gets mistaken for a woman constantly (yet is not trans in any way shape or form), are they transitioning?, of course not.

I was a very effeminate man with long hair who got mistaken for a woman constantly....I even got pulled up in Asda (Walmart) at the time (2003) for having a male bank card and they wouldn't believe it was mine..

I was that too, but getting pulled up or such things never happened to me, pre transition or during it, or now (even though they'd have pretty serious reasons to doubt the card belonged to me).

I didn't pay attention to how others judged me really, but I know I've caused some confusion, even with a 6 weeks stuble of facial hair (I always hated shaving, but 6 weeks was not that long a stuble).