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Why is it that some people simply cannot be happy when others succeed?

Started by Nero, February 19, 2008, 05:50:53 PM

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Nero

It drives me crazy!

There is this relative of mine...

And everytime something goes right for me or I do well or something he has to knock it, come up with reasons why it doesn't count.

Took a college course a while back and on the entrance exam, I scored in the top 1% of all who'd ever taken it.

But he had to come up with reasons why it didn't count. 'yeah, well, that was...'

I was sick whilst taking the course, missed most of the work and yet scored so high and went above and beyond the final assignment that I was top of all others in the course and on the dean's list - all that for no effort and no work.

And he had to come up with why it didn't count.

And there are various other things - I made good money but 'it didn't count'.

Now I have succeeded at something new but because 'it's just on the net, it's not real'. It doesn't count.

JESUS CHRIST!
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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tekla

I know a lot of people who if they put out a record that did not sell, would be happy to blame everyone other than themselves.  However, had it sold gold and reached number one, they would be called "sell outs."  I don't get it either
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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debbie.j

nero hun i got relatives like that too.  shame they act like that ::) the only reason  i came up with is it

seams to be a guy thing for some reason to a point,  anyways i just got to the point that if they wanted it

act like that let them .but iam not paying them any mind for it . as i made the choice to be happy in the

things that i have done to reach my goals. and to be happy with the fact of knowing that i reached my

goals even if family or others wanted to kick and say it did not count .so maybe try looking at it like this .

it does count for something and iam proud i did myself . and that i have fianly reached a goal that i have

worked hard at . anyways nero iam proud of you so hug,s and :) from me to you nero :)
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Sarah Louise

Some people want everyone else to be as miserable as they are.

Sarah L.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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buttercup

Everything you do counts, Nero!  Do you need his approval, is he someone you look up to?
My brother never, ever gives a toss about me succeeding at anything, which I rarely do anyway, but yes, I would love to have his approval.  I would love to 'count' to him, but I never will!!  :'(

And since when is the net not real?   It is the best thing that has ever happen to me, I am not as scared anymore, I have found a community where I just love everyone to death.  I just find it hurtful when people make you feel like sh*t cause you don't measure up or they give advice which they aren't living, in that way it can be destructive.  The heirachy thing just p*sses me off!!  I hate being excluded!!  Sorry, that's a sore point with me.

Please be strong and proud as I know you are.  You are truthful and honest to a fault, and I love it!  Not many are, and they can lead you down the merry path of deceit and lies, they hurt people, just like your relative and my brother are knowingly or unknowingly doing.

Buttercup   :)

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Alison

I know whacha mean :(    I also hate it when you say "I did this! yay!" and some else says "I did a BIGGER and BETTER THAT!  double yay!"  ><

Not sure what you succeeded on on the net, but congrats!! :) *hug* And I agree, it's very real... there are people and feelings on the other side of the screens.
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sd

Misery loves company.

Congrats Nero whatever it is.

The net is just as real as anything else, if anyone doubts it; Google's money spends just as well as anyone's.
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drkprincess

Some people don't like it when someone they know does better then them, if you want I can get some baseball bats and we can get him LOL
Maybe he is not happy with himself, or the things he has done with his life so he has to down play your achievements to make himself feel better, as sd said misery loves company.

~Rachel~
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Christo

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lady amarant

Next time tell him that, if he has nothing good to say, he shouldn't say anything at all. Explain that this is a good way to preserve his personal health and wellbeing...  :angel:

Seriously though, don't let it get you down. Unfortunately there are many people out there like that - they feel the need to diminish the accomplishments of others in order to validate their own lack of accomplishment. Maybe I'm over-generalising, but that has been my experience. Congrats on whatever it was you found success in hon! Enjoy the warm, fuzzy glow of it!
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Buffy

Its human nature to be jealous.

To covert what other people have or we perceive they have.

We all at times feel hard  done by and angry that other people we know, have achieved success we wish we had, done something we wish we had done, have something we wish we had.

I was extremely jealous of any woman, that was one of the worst things for me, they had the very thing I coverted.... the Life I wanted.

Buffy

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Dennis

Congratulations Nero, both on the exam thing (I know it was a while ago, but congratulations are never belated) and whatever the new thing is.

I think some people try and make themselves feel better by putting others down. They don't know that self-esteem comes from within, not your position relative to other people.

Dennis
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Chaunte


SOme people are happiest only when they are miserable.  Since that is their perspective, they want to make sure that everyone else is happy be being miserable.

I know that this is not logical, but I used to work with someone at Eastman Kodak who was just like that.  Give him a silver lining, he will find the dark cloud.

Chaunte
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lady amarant

Quote from: Chaunte on February 20, 2008, 06:39:05 PM

SOme people are happiest only when they are miserable.  Since that is their perspective, they want to make sure that everyone else is happy be being miserable.

I know that this is not logical, but I used to work with someone at Eastman Kodak who was just like that.  Give him a silver lining, he will find the dark cloud.

Chaunte

It's all about comfort zones. Most people prefer secure and familiar to happy.
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Ell

Quote from: Nero on February 19, 2008, 05:50:53 PM
Took a college course a while back and on the entrance exam, I scored in the top 1% of all who'd ever taken it.

regardless of what your little relative said, color me impressed!

good job, you.

-ellie
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RebeccaFog


    Don't pay attention to nay sayers.  You have some seriously good talents and skills, so you should really only be concerned with your own opinion.   If someone else praises you, then that's a nice feeling.  If they don't acknowledge your accomplishments, then ignore that person's opinion.

   
Rebis
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Nero

Quote from: ell on February 21, 2008, 09:45:50 AM
Quote from: Nero on February 19, 2008, 05:50:53 PM
Took a college course a while back and on the entrance exam, I scored in the top 1% of all who'd ever taken it.

regardless of what your little relative said, color me impressed!

good job, you.

-ellie

Thanks hon, but it was really no biggie. Since I was only taking some courses in the language department just for the hell of it, I was only required to take the English exam. Had I taken the math exam, I doubt I'd even passed it. My brain's just not wired for that ->-bleeped-<-, not to mention my formal education basically ended at 5th grade.
But thanks sweetie and thank you all for cheering me up.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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cindianna_jones

Nero, I'm afraid your friend "JESUS CHRIST" is just going to have to get used to you being successful.  There's nothing wrong with that!

;)

Cindi
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RebeccaFog

whoa.   I just had an idea.

What if Nero's cousin thinks of him as a woman?   Some males have a cruel knack for trying to shut down females if they are happy or seem to be successful.   It could be sexism.

This guy may not be a mere jerk, but a SUPERjerk.


just some thoughts that have no basis in reality.
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