Being a girlfriend

[Terra]

Well this is an interesting turn of events. I wasn't really expecting to find anyone or be in a relationship in this town, but I somehow have gotten a girlfriend. On top of that, she knows what I am, and isn't all that worried about it.

But I am quickly discovering that I know nothing about dating as a woman, and this relationship is already being strained by her lack of self confidence. This was acquired from her two previous boyfriends. On top of that she is struggling with her bipolar, and her orientation. We both are going into this to see if we can make this work, and we both like each other alot.

I'm already making mistakes, as I am extremely playful by default if I don't understand a situation. But she isn't used to my brand of teasing, and it reminds her of how her ex's would treat her. I'm trying to curb it, but its my reflex reaction.

As I said I want to make this work, any advice?

[shanetastic]

Hey Angel,

No relationships are ever really going to be perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes in them so as long as you both can forgive each other and work through it I'm sure you two will be fine.  Just try to cut down the teasing, although I know where you're coming from sorta.  I'm a really sarcastic person and people really hate me for it sometimes, so I've been trying to cut down on it too.

Maybe you two should just talk about the relationship and it both being something new for you two?  Remember though, mistakes are the basis of learning   Try not to hate each other for making them and you'll turn out fine I bet!  Sorry I'm a horrible relationship person so I don't really know what else to say!

Good luck Angel

[Wing Walker]

Well this is an interesting turn of events. I wasn't really expecting to find anyone or be in a relationship in this town, but I somehow have gotten a girlfriend. On top of that, she knows what I am, and isn't all that worried about it.

But I am quickly discovering that I know nothing about dating as a woman, and this relationship is already being strained by her lack of self confidence. This was acquired from her two previous boyfriends. On top of that she is struggling with her bipolar, and her orientation. We both are going into this to see if we can make this work, and we both like each other alot.

I'm already making mistakes, as I am extremely playful by default if I don't understand a situation. But she isn't used to my brand of teasing, and it reminds her of how her ex's would treat her. I'm trying to curb it, but its my reflex reaction.

As I said I want to make this work, any advice?

Hello, Angel,

I am no expert in these matters but may I share what I have with you?

My HRT doc is gay and he tells me that lesbians are born and made, made in response to the difficulty that dealing with men can be.  Women are subject to physical, emotional, mental, financial, and many other forms of abuse and when we have had enough male pain laid on to us, some of us find another woman with whom to share life, warmth, comfort, intimacy, and sometimes romantic love.

Your girlfriend may have had a good dose of the fun and games of dating guys.  If she feels sincere towards you, assure her that you do understand some of what might have happened to her.  It will pay to be a discerning listener right now so you can learn where the hurts are and what triggers them.  I am not suggesting that you change who you are, but if what she makes you feel is worth it to you, open your heart and let it lead your mind.

You mention that your humour makes her feel a bit ill at ease.  I would say that I would avoid teasing altogether right now.  She might have been really hurt in the past as possibly evidenced by her lack of self confidence, aggravated by her bipolar.

Think things over and listen to your heart.  You might have found the relationship of your life.  If not, you and the girl will both have grown with empathy, caring, sharing, and loving as your rewards.

Wing Walker

[cindybc]

Hi angel, well now you have yourself a girl friend. It is nice to have a friend and I am happy to hear you have a friend to share with. I really don't know how long you been with this friend? I think that the longer you get to know each other  and the more intimately you both become and get to know each others personalty, I am sure that she will appreciate your teasing nature as being nothing more then just having fun. She will eventually respond to your brand of humor as well as the teasing. Heck I tease ad joke around with Wing Walker all day every day and then we both laugh like a couple of hyenas. When the humor stops, then it might be time to check each others nose to see if they are still damp and cold. 

Cindy

[Ms Bev]

Well, Angel

It sounds like you may have the making of a special relationship.  Go slowly, in everything, and above all, don't remind her of her 2 negative male experiences.  Remember also, she might be bi, but she might also be straight, looking for a comfortable partner.  Could work...  Always find out in small doses how she responds to things.
Hope it works for you two!

Bev