I am one of the transguysqueers that don't want a phalloplasty.
Why? Because it's too risky,I could never afford it, I don't wanna risk being stuck peeing in a bag for the rest of my days if it goes wrong..and a pump is just pointless. A detachable penis is ok .It's better than the alternatives as they are now.
As for being 100 % male I'm not.But that does not mean the parts that are wrong are somehow less wrong to ME. Or the pain I feel about it is less painful or the drive to change it less
intense.One thing that I feel besides the gender issue is I am a feline. A psychedelic panther. Now there is NO WAY I can become a panther.But yet I am one.I wear ears and tail,I am tattooing myself with stripes,I want fang implants since my mom got my fangs ground down when I got some teeth pulled for my braces, My fangs were ground to flat human teeth while I was konked out.I still got the fang pockets ,little indentations in my gums where my natural fangs rested together so they would not poke my lip. Lions and tigers all have fang pockets.When my adult teeth came in they were bucked,but I had BIG long eyeteeth that got me teased in school. My dentist said he never saw such dramatic eyeteeth as mine..I loved my cat teeth,but my mother did not like it and since kids are parental property in this culture mom decided my felineness was not acceptable to her and she has tried to erase it just like my true gender.
People because of thier uncomfortableness over certain cultural things they believe at truth ,tell me I am deluded over the cat-thing,that I am silly or extreme..but what do they know about being me from my point of veiw? NOTHING.
Why does it bother other people so much I am a mowhawked penis-less feline guy? What's the big deal,they don't live inside me so how dare they have such gall to say I am wrong to be me as I am inside on the outside? Likewise isn't that we all want, to BE ourselves and not be told it's wrong,and treated like we are somehow less worthy of being cared for,heard or helped if we seek to be what we are and live what we feel comfortable being ..It it not wrong,forbidden or crazy for certain people to transform if it's done in a certain"normal range" society can grok , but it's not ok ,serious,or really as bad for others who are not doing thier transforming it as our limited,bigoted,culture prescribes as legitamate way to change? Why is it ONE path(total transition) is the only genuine transformation that is the yardstic we all are measured by and must submit to to be who we are. Isn't that tyranny?
We cannot live inside each other's bodies minds and identities ,and experince the life of someone else as they live in it,so to control,dismiss or devalue anothers experince of the countiurs of thier own being is really really sick IMHO.And our culture when it devalues empathy in favor of systems of control or rewards and measuring sticks to pprivlege some and deny others,based in some arbritrary belief,it is full of this sickness,and the sickness is called "normal" and conforming to "normal" or a 'standard' someonme else imposes to discriminate..And frankly it is an evil so banal that in this culture it is nearly invisible.
"When will justice come? When those who are not injured are as indignant about injustice as those who are."
this is my true identity.
http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y152/UPanthera/pantheri2.jpg
