Really confused, help appreciated.

[cindybc]

Hi The_Little_Kid
I think it's time to move this discussion to a more appropriate Thread. It appears that this subject may cause some confusion for others that come here. If you are still interested, go to the link I have posted below and scroll back and read some of the information that is posted in there and I will meet you there for discussion. Thanks.

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,19157.140.html

Cindy

[The_Little_Kid]

Ok thanks. (guess this thread is back on topic then)

Wow, really sorry about that 6_yearold. That must suck really badly, sorry that it took so long for you to get to this point.

[cindybc]

Hi 6_yearold

The first step in the right direction is to see a therapist, which it appears you have already done. Most everything else you have described here in this post is pretty well what most of us feel and have experienced universally at one point or another. I have dreamt about being a girl starting especially at around the age of six. But there were many times before the age of six, around between 3 and 5 I remember my mom dressing me in girls clothes, back in those days it was not an unusual thing for moms to dress their boy as a girl during the preschool years.

I also remember quite vividly playing dress up my sister and my friend Christine, the next door neighbor. of course dress up was dressing up as a girl. I especially was beside myself when Christine invited some of the other neighborhood girls to join us in a tea party. The next door neighbor. But after the age of seven I was discouraged from playing these girl games

When I was older 11 years old I ran with this girl whom turned out to be an outcast at school like I was. And yes I played being a girl with my friend, I had long hair to my Butt and I passed quite well as a girl. The Hippie era was in full swing back the and I took to wearing unisex clothes. Most people thought I was a girl. After the age of thirty I married and had three kids but that was a total disaster and off I went to explore the world and began to drink heavy and didn't take a  sober breath for nearly thirty years. No sooner did I put the cork back on the bottle Mrs. GID reared her head again and off to the races I went still in the dark as to why I was getting these intense urges of wanting to be a girl.

I did not learn what the word Transsexual was 1998 and didn't really do anything about it until 2000 by 2001 I was presenting full time and 4 years ago I had the surgery. This is as close as one can get to being a woman, from here on it is all psychological growth, understanding yourself, stable relationship, understanding yourself, understanding your gift,  and learning that you are now an independent woman in pursuit of a more stable life as a woman out there in the world. 

Cindy     

[The_Little_Kid]

Well I just thought I'd ask, but I've noticed that if I'm doing really well I have much less of a desire to be a girl, sometimes to the point that the need completely vanishes and I'm totally fine with my body and being a guy. But if I'm doing less well (from around the time that I'm doing ok as in having a little bit of a down day, down to where ever I happened to plummet) I get the complete opposite, i.e I hate being a guy more and I hate having a male body and stuff. Has anybody else had this? Or something similar to this? And more importantly, what is it???

[Berliegh]

Well I just thought I'd ask, but I've noticed that if I'm doing really well I have much less of a desire to be a girl, sometimes to the point that the need completely vanishes and I'm totally fine with my body and being a guy. But if I'm doing less well (from around the time that I'm doing ok as in having a little bit of a down day, down to where ever I happened to plummet) I get the complete opposite, i.e I hate being a guy more and I hate having a male body and stuff. Has anybody else had this? Or something similar to this? And more importantly, what is it???

I 've never personally changed my focus but I do think about the limitations of a gender change and what can and can't be achieved depending on the individual...

[Robin_p]

I have dreamt about being a girl starting especially at around the age of six. But there were many times before the age of six, around between 3 and 5 I remember my mom dressing me in girls clothes, back in those days it was not an unusual thing for moms to dress their boy as a girl during the preschool years.

I also remember quite vividly playing dress up my sister...... . But after the age of seven I was discouraged from playing these girl games

I married and had three kids but that was a total disaster.. and began to drink heavy and didn't take a  sober breath for nearly thirty years. No sooner did I put the cork back on the bottle Mrs. GID reared her head again and off to the races I went still in the dark as to why I was getting these intense urges of wanting to be a girl.

Cindy     

That's awesome hon. Almost my story just a little more and little less here and there. Actually it shocked me i was just glancing through the post i got mid way thorough this one and went OMG! I remember all that.

[cindybc]

Hi Robin_p,  Thank you. That is just a small illustration as to just how much stuff that we have stored in the subconscious mind. It saddens me when people say the can't remember that far back or that their memory of their past life is like Swiss cheese at best.

I know that many of us have had tragic and traumatic memories and experiences buried in our past. I just deal with those when they choose to come up but for anyone to remember the past from as an early age as 3 or 4 is nothing short of awesome.

Can you remember the color of something, its smell, how it felt, how big or small it was?  There is an entire world in within the memory where we can explore experiences, some very wonderful places almost magical in quality. We were so much more conscious at those ages back then. I can remember many a times playing dress up with neighborhood girls, and I was, of course, a girl in some of those memories.     

Cindy