I know the feeling, Tink. I certainly don't want to identify as "trans," meaning to hold it up as a banner or as the definition of who I am in this world, who I can be. I identify as just a woman. I also acknowledge the fact that trans is how I got here, and nothing will ever change that. But I do want so much to put it behind me and move on. Like the scars I've gotten from various injuries or surgeries over the years. Those scars remain in my flesh, but I've stopped feeling the pain-- and of course I do not "identify" as a scarred woman. The scars do not define who I can be, they're as incidental to who I am as my eye color. I don't "identify" as a brown-eyed girl, regardless of how much I like the song by Van Morrison. I'm just a girl. I don't see any point in taking such incidental features as my identity. They're not the core of who I am. Same goes for trans.