Fun (trouble) with gender-specific slang pronouns

[Hazumu]

Well, I've stumbled on another thing that requires considerable thought, and perhaps some unlearning.

For years, I've been using the pronouns 'Dude' and 'You guys' to refer equally to both sexes - i.e., I come up to a group of three female coworkers and say, "Hey, what'cha guys doin?"  Or hearing a bit of good news that happened to a female subordinate (getting selected as a candidate for employee of the quarter, say,) saying, appreciatively, "DU-U-UDE!".

Again, in my mind, the gender reference is vestigal.

Until now...

I was at my first TG/TS support meeting last night, and was invited by two of the members to go to the TS-friendly bar across the street.  They suggested I go on ahead.  I said, "Nah, I'll wait for you guys..."  (<cringe>!!!Oh F#<% Oh S#!^ Oh Dear -- What did I just say???)

The dilemma seems to be to bow to yet another form of Politically Correct speaking, or risk offending others...

I guess faux pas's are to be expected...

Karen

[stephanie_craxford]

Up here where I live I too have caught myself in similar situations.  However it doesn't seem to be such a big deal though as I've heard females referring to other females as "Hey guys" or "Hey you guys" and I don't believe that any one was offended.  Personally I have never heard  a girl refer to another girl as "Dude" but who the heck can keep up with all the latest lingo these days.  Bad means good, and wicked means great/awesome etc...

I do try and make a point of referring to females "Hey you girls", "Hey you ladies", and if it's a mixed group I use "Guys" or "Folks".  Given our situation I just think that we maybe more sensitive to these issues now.

Just my .02

Steph

[Annie Social]

I've never used 'dude' that way (or any other way, for that matter), but I use 'guys' to refer to both sexes all the time, and never had anyone take offense. I can see it being a problem in the singular ("Hey, guy, what's up?"), but I think it's okay as long as you are using it in the plural ("I'll meet you guys there").

Just don't follow it up with "Okay, gentlemen?" 

Annie

[jan c]

My very recent experience has included two twenty-something female roommates; it is usual for these girls to call pretty much everyone 'dude'; also in clearly PC and *sensitive* Berkeley, where the waitress knows, ok? no prob., for the girls and in-between me to be called 'you guys'.
Dood.

[umop ap!sdn]

Just explain that you would have said the same thing if they were GGs.

I used to know a GG who, in IM chat, would use "dude!" as an interjection. Well, after I came out to her we discussed it and agreed that it was okay since she used it around other women anyways. This of course earned me the nickname Dudette.

[HelenW]

I've considered this myself and I suspect that a group of GG's would have no problems with being called "you guys" but a group of transwomen might!

So, I suppose the context of the conversation, who I was talking to, would make a difference how I would put it.  Not so different from any other situation, though, I always try to consider who I'm talking to before I speak.  Doesn't always work though, which is why I once said to two female coworkers who were complaining about mood swings (I'm not really out at work!), "Ahh, hormones.  I can't wait!"

^*priceless*

helen

[Melissa]

Personally I don't get offended, because I ask myself whether they are saying that out of habit or just to spite me.  In just about every circumstance it is out of habit.

Melissa

[Hazumu]

Thanks for all your advice, so far.

It's new territory, with new rules (at least for me  .)

Karen

[Chaunte]

In my classroom, I use "Ladies and Gentlemen.  Boys and girls.  And everyone else in between."

It usually gets a giggle.  I don't believe that nay of my students realize that I am including myself in the "inbetween."

Chaunte