Would you have transitioned or started if it weren't for the Internet

[Alyssa M.]

Sorry Cindy, I couldn't help myself. A dumb attempt at humour, just a silly slogan from the hippie heyday that by random chance applied. (I do seem to know a bunch of people in the age group just about 30 that are just young enough to have grown up not really caring about homosexuals, but having no clue about anything trans.)

[Berliegh]

For me, the Internet was the most important (if only chronologically), because it's the first place I ever saw positive images of trans people. That did me a lot of good in resolving issues of guilt and shame, of which I had plenty. After that, the next was the general openness, which has allowed me to get support from friends. I don't think I could have gotten nearly as much support think 15 years ago (though I was just a kid then -- what do I know?). I definitely see attitudes among people under 30 as being far more open to transgender identities than among people that are older.

Never trust anyone over 30, right Cindy?

The first time I saw any positive images of a transsexual was in 1982 when I saw Tula (Caroline) Cossy spread all over the Sun newspaper. The hetro guys at work fancied her despite her origins, so I thought finally here's the role model I've been waiting for...

There were articles and information out there long before the internet but the internet has been a useful tool in providing more information...

[kae m]

Well, I've started moving toward starting...but, I think it would have only been a matter of time without the net anyway.  I'm 23, I've been online in some form since I was like 6 and my mom showed me how to log on to Prodigy to play the games and learn how to type.  So I can't really relate to a "without the internet" time.  Personally I find the very concept of that to be fascinating.  Both good information and bad information is just everywhere easily accessible for some societies.  And in other societies, it isn't so freely available.  I only know one side of it, but now I'm going off on a tangent.

I picked "yes", but I'm not clear about something.  Is there a connection between GID and the internet? Transition and the WWW?  If there is, what is it? 

For me, the internet showed me a missing piece of the puzzle.  I didn't know others' experiences so I had nothing at all to relate to.  All I really knew before on a very simplistic level was that I fit in with the girls on the inside, but didn't on the outside, and I didn't fit in with the boys on the inside, but I did on the outside.  It took a while, but my mind finally broke from it all, I gave in and admitted to myself that I needed to try to find some help, and I turned to the internet to look for it.  I read all I could find, which helped clear up a few things, but it wasn't until I started reading others' stories that I think the realizations actually started to set in.  I realized I wasn't entirely crazy, I realized that I had options, and I realized I could choose to start living.

I don't think there's a causal link between GID and the net.  But I think the availability of others' experiences, and the information on the "how to" side of things just enables those who may not have gotten help to get it.  Would I have realized I could live if not for the net?  I don't really know, I could have decided to end my life, or maybe it would have taken me 30 more years of miserable attempts to be male to realize I didn't have to suffer.

[Rachael]

i think some of those who view themselves as 'real' transsexuals consider this genderation to be people who merely saw trans on the internet, and thought it would be fun to try....
R >

[Robyn]

Hi Alyssa M.

But of course, politeness  Either drive the Cadillac or take the Ferrari. But hey it seems I can way better understand kids then adults, adults are boring. Old Hippies never die, they just smell that way.

Well, as a 70+ yo IRCOP who spends a couple of hours in Chat most every day, I hope the kids don't see me as a smelly, aged hippy.  LOL  Particularly not after my 52 years of military work.     

I marked NO in the poll.  Having suppressed my feelings so deep and for so long, it was the Internet that triggered the approach to my truth.  Once Robyn began to bubble to the surface, there was no turning back.  Thankfully, I found a good counselor who said, "Robyn, you're transsexual.  What are you going to do about it?"

Two years later, I asked the anesthesiologist if I should count backwards from 100.  He said, "Don't bother.'  The last thing I remember was Emery asking, "Who's going to fix my dinner?" as I was rolled toward the OR doors and Dr. Meltzer.

He's now been my husband for 8 years. 

Robyn

[deviousxen]

The question I have, is:

"Was the internet the only flashlight strong enough to shed light on my problems?"

So I didn't vote. I honestly don't know. I could've spent a lot longer finding out in the outside world, but who knows? Might not have happened, and maybe I'd be either A. Ten Times as Miserable B. Dead or C. Perfectly happy male with weird thoughts.


The reason why I doubt C, is because I had feelings like these before I was even allowed on the internet from what I remember. C is just a jerk that plagues me every day. Finding a forum like this which shows mostly the truth of what's actually going on is a good thing. (Shows the goods and the bads, which are not attractive bads, but necessary ones) I think the only difference would likely be how long it took me to find out more about myself. But I honestly can't say, because predictions rarely work.

[Alyssa M.]

i think some of those who view themselves as 'real' transsexuals consider this genderation to be people who merely saw trans on the internet, and thought it would be fun to try....
R >

Was that a legit typo, or a pun?  (Well, it's pretty funny either way.)

But I swear, when I was seven, I literally thought I was the only gender variant person in the world.
(Okay, I had an email account and Internet access, so it's not technically "pre-Internet" -- but it was pre-Web!)

The first time I saw any positive images of a transsexual was in 1982 when I saw Tula (Caroline) Cossy spread all over the Sun newspaper. The hetro guys at work fancied her despite her origins, so I thought finally here's the role model I've been waiting for...

There were articles and information out there long before the internet but the internet has been a useful tool in providing more information...

Yeh, The Sun? erm... not generally ... what I'd call ... positive.

I mean, the first time I can recall seeing "positive" images of transsexuals was on the Phil Donahue show... But there's something about daytime talk shows ... and tabloid newspapers ... that kind of, well, screams "freak!!!!" Yeah, it was either Donahue or Springer; or else some rather clinical and intimidating-sounding articles in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Things that definitely did not give me a more positive self-image. Quite the contrary.

[Shana A]

My post wasn't meant to offend anyone, or to say that I'm somehow better since I transitioned before the internet, of course, walking in high heels through feet of snow.  Just telling my story. I used every resource available to me at the time, and the more I read, and met other trans people, the less isolation I felt.

I don't necessarily believe that younger folks have it easier now because of the internet. It is a valuable resource, and certainly makes my life easier now, however anyone transitioning today still has to deal with negative societal prejudice and discrimination. We're all in the same boat, young and old.

Zythyra

[cindybc]

Hi Alyssa M. your response was on the dollar hon, nothing wrong with it. I just wish more on  here would use a little humor now and then this could be a rock on group. Susan's Transgender Sunshine Girls Quartet or something like that.

Hi Burleigh hon. Transitioning is a serious process that preoccupies most of our thoughts and concentration but yes there are some really neat parts in transitioning. Nothing wrong with a little self effacing humor, then we can slap one another n the shoulder and have good laugh. There are so many silly little things that occur along the way that one can bring to the group to share this little sunshine with others and brighten the day for them some on a otherwise gloomy day. When I first came out as Cindy I had not an idea on how to act, I mostly just fudged it and to my surprise most of the girls at work rallied around me doing what they could giving me pointers and clothes for which I was so very thankful for, well I wasn't really rolling around in dough.

Well through much of my transition during full time I emulated the lady in Harper Valley PTA. and I truly felt as proud to be me. Maybe I lived a charmed life but I have never had any mishaps. I brought my bag of puns and they smiled. Well that will be sufficient for now.

Cindy   

[jenny_]

I don't necessarily believe that younger folks have it easier now because of the internet. It is a valuable resource, and certainly makes my life easier now, however anyone transitioning today still has to deal with negative societal prejudice and discrimination. We're all in the same boat, young and old.

and GID is still the same, whether you transitioned 20 years ago or now.  We are all dealing (or have dealt with) the same things regardless of our age.

honestly, i think i would have probably started transition without the internet.  Its a great source of information and yeah, its helped me understand more about GID, but in the past there were books, and IMO i don't think how much i knew would have made any difference.
i transitioned because of how i felt, not because of what i'd read.

whether or not i'd have survived transition without the support of the internet - especially places like here, and knowing i wasn't alone - is a completely different question.  but that doesn't detract from transition in any way.

jenny
x x

[cindybc]

To my way of thinking and before I start by the way I am certainly grateful the Internet was there for my use or I "KNOW!!" I would not have been here groping around in the dark not knowing what this irresistible force was that was edging me and most likely would have pushed me over the precipice. Or I would have taken the gas pipe.  If I hadn't of taken that precipice it may have meant a few more years of misery before I would have been driven to find what was ailing me. Well I suppose after reading some material about transsexual was what prompted me to get a computer. I also had the honor to serve and help others on websites such as this one but for some reason I finally made my home on this group. Members are all new but I have found some wonderful intelligent young folks here that I would have to say are more well informed then the folks I knew here from 8 years ago.

Cindy

[Blanche]

Yes I would have.

[Lisbeth]

No, if it weren't for the internet, I would be dead.

[KarenLyn]

No, if it weren't for the internet, I would be dead.

I feel the same. In my 30s, I had never heard the term transsexual or transgender. I had never heard of she-males or any of the names some people drop as though they were the most famous people in the world. Before the internet, I only knew I was supposed to be a girl and there was nothing I could do to fix it. I'd already attempted suicide several times. Eventually I would have succeeded or been permanently institutionalized.
With the advent of BBSs and later the internet, I found a place where it was safe to be myself. When I got on the net, I looked for support groups. Surely there had to be others like me. I began finding information, groups, local contacts and finally, the knowledge I really could change myself and my life. It snowballed from there and here I am.

Karen Lyn

[Sarah]

Oh yes. I would have.

I did, actually.

Sara

[Christine Eryn]

The first place I knew transitioning was possible was shows like Maury, Sally, Jerry Springer, etc, so I knew I wasn't a total wacko. When I got into the internet in 96 I knew this whole "thing" might work. After doing much research, my answer is no. But others have done it without the www before, so I'm sure I would have got to the point of going full steam ahead no matter what.

[Rachael]

oh god, jerry springer ->-bleeped-<-s... *barf*
R >

[Berliegh]

The first time I saw any positive images of a transsexual was in 1982 when I saw Tula (Caroline) Cossy spread all over the Sun newspaper. The hetro guys at work fancied her despite her origins, so I thought finally here's the role model I've been waiting for...

There were articles and information out there long before the internet but the internet has been a useful tool in providing more information...

Yeh, The Sun? erm... not generally ... what I'd call ... positive.

I mean, the first time I can recall seeing "positive" images of transsexuals was on the Phil Donahue show... But there's something about daytime talk shows ... and tabloid newspapers ... that kind of, well, screams "freak!!!!" Yeah, it was either Donahue or Springer; or else some rather clinical and intimidating-sounding articles in the Encyclopedia Britannica. Things that definitely did not give me a more positive self-image. Quite the contrary.

Caroline Cossy was cool, looked female and guys fancied her......she was a model, appeared in adverts and had cameo's in films.......and when I read her story it made sense and reminded me of my own. She has done an awful lot for trans issue's so I don't know why you feel the need to knock her..
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caroline_Cossey

[Alyssa M.]

Berliegh --

Please don't misunderstand me. I mean no disrespect toward Caroline Cossey at all -- in fact I didn't actually say a word about her. It's the depiction of transgender people in the media that I have a problem with (e.g, tabloids outing transsexual women living in stealth). And I don't think it's much better today.

I'm glad for you that Cossey's story gave you hope; not me (granted, I was 3). But I never saw anything positive in the media until I'd already seen it online; that is, personal, first-hand stories written with dignity. It's not much better today in the maistream media either. Maybe you saw past the sensationalism.

[LynnER]

I would have started yes...  But I would have taken a much diffrent rout...

I didnt know you needed a theripist, and I had gleaned enough information from other scources to know what to do <vaugely>

I dobut Id be as happy or healthy as I am now...  but Id have ried it altleast...