Would you have transitioned or started if it weren't for the Internet

[DarthKitty]

Well the topic makes it pretty explanatory.  But I'm definitely curious to know if it weren't for the Internet and the knowledge that you gained from it, where do you think you would be now?

-Kit

P.S. I'll assume many would like to answer "dead" but if you do wish to answer that way, I'd love to hear more about why you would be unable to cope if you were unaware of how many other people out there were like you.

[cindianna_jones]

I had no internet when I went through this in the mid to late eighties. 

I honestly had no idea what this was, that there was a name for it, or that there was anyone else in the entire world that had a similar problem.  I thought that I was the only one who had ever been like this.  Really.

I grew up in the Mormon faith and led a fairly sheltered life.  I didn't even know about gay people.  Really.

I had already started testing the waters for my own identity by crossdressing and going out in public whenever I could when I stumbled across this thing called Compuserve.  I suppose it was something like the predecessor to what we now call the internet.  You could call up and connect for six bucks an hour to H&R Block's mainframe and "chat" with poeple.  There were a handful of us that managed to find each other in that world.  I did manage to meet many of them in my travels as I flew to many cities in my profession.

So.... yes, I would have continued without that virtual connection to a handful of others.  But I am so glad that I found them in this big world.  It made an impossible thing much more bearable to know that others had similar feelings.

.... and along the way I did find out about gay people.

Cindi

[lady amarant]

I would eventually have transitioned, but not yet. I knew bits and pieces about SRS from "sex change shock stories" in old South African tabloid magazines, but if not for the internet, I would not have had the courage to go through with it yet, I think.

[shanetastic]

I don't think I would have.  Without the resources or people that I've interacted with throughout the years I probably would have ended up "offing" myself because of the isolation. 

[Rowan_Danielle]

I suspect that the Internet will be one of the reasons I transition if I get that far.  Right now, I'm doing a multi-front exploration, with small forays into assorted areas.

The Internet is definitely helping out with them.

[cindybc]

I first heard about sex change operations was when I heard about Christine Jorgensen. I thought to myself, "a ->-bleeped-<- that just went one step to far." This was back in the fifties.

I knew there was something that wasn't normal about me, such as desiring to be dressing up as a girl. It was not long after, the desire escalated to a need of desperation at times. I thought for certain I was possessed by demons or going insane, or something along that line. And there is no way I was ever going to even talk about it to anyone else, I determined it would go to the grave with me. I was further discouraged to sharing this secret with anyone, especially not after overhearing someone say what they would do if they ran into such as a perverted male wearing a dress.

Eventually I discovered what transsexuality was in 1998. I got this book in the local library in Midland, the first one on the topic of transexualism, it was about a trans lady named Canary Conn. The book was Canary Conn's own personal story and her experience transitioning in the early and mid-sixties. She would be near my age now.

I cried pretty darn near through the entire book, except at the end of her story.  What an unexpected twist of fate takes place. I must say that this kid surely deserved her well-earned life as a very lovely young lady that she was in the end. It was only a short time after that I began transitioning to full time by 2000.

I do believe and must admit that it was the Internet that was my first educator on the subject of transsexuality, or otherwise it may have been a while longer before I would have taken the initiative to begin transitioning, as I did after discovering this group 8 years ago.  It was 8 years ago I began my journey to fully transition to being the woman, the same one who sits here now typing my story out in part for those who will read it. This feels to me like the most natural and normal thing to be.  I love myself for once in my life. Actually it's the other self that is now slowly fading away from memory like a bad dream.

Cindy     

[Rachael]

Transition? i dont know, but i do know this.... If it wasnt for the internet, and here, id be dead now. I was coming very close to suceeding at something id attempted serveral times before, and realising i wasnt alone saved my life.
Transition? too many factors to tell... it sure helped though... considering my rather, personaly lead transition, till a doc would help me.
R >

[dawn]

I voted but didnt post, so figure i might aswell....
Would i have transitioned, yearp i think so.... all the stuff i found out at first was from television.
But would i have gotten where i am now, this soon.. i doubt it very much. Would i even be alive ... i really dont know, best guess is no.

[Beyond]

Kiera, in reference to the twist of fate, she was referring to Canary Conn's book, not Christines Jorgenson's.



Original post: I have no idea what would've happened to me without the internet; it was incredibly helpful.

[HelenW]

I believe I would have transitioned without the internet.  I had begun making changes before I even acknowledged that I was a trans woman rather than a committed cross dresser.  Reading stories and issues on the internet regarding transition and being a trans woman confirmed to me what I suspected after watching television shows about transsexuals.

I believe that having the information and inspiration I found on Susan's and other sites like this definitely saved me many years of pain and depression.

hugs & smiles
Emelye

[Nero]

No (haven't 'technically' transitioned yet due to circumstances beyond my control).

To me the net was always just for research and ->-bleeped-<-, until I lost everything and became desperate enough to converse with people through type on a screen.
I knew I was male but had always thought transsexuals were weak souls who couldn't just play the cards they were dealt. And I certainly wasn't one of them. I was a normal person. I wasn't one of those ->-bleeped-<-s. Yeah right. 

My pride wouldn't let me accept it. Not until chatting through type on a screen with others like me was I able to accept that this wasn't a shameful condition. When I finally let go of my pride and admitted to myself I was trans, I cried for days.
And I would NEVER have spoken about this transsexual thing face to face with anyone, it was only through anonymous type on a screen that I dared.

So, no I would never have accepted this had it not been for the net.

[Rachael]

There seems to be this recurring theme throughout the experience of many younger, so-called "internet transsexuals" which to me is a very disturbing behavioral pattern indeed . . . And then there's the whole question of orientation, sexual attraction preferences which for many also seems to remain clearly defined and unchanging, despite ones alleged gender identity to the contrary?

huh?

What do you mean about sexual orientation and attraction preferances? what the hell has that go to do with gender anyroad?
and personally i find being labeled an 'internet transexual' demeating and god damn rude.... Im going through the same things as you, and every other person with this problem, why am i punished because the media of discovery is different?
are you a 'book transsexual'?
'public library transexual'?
'tv documentry transsexual'?
I clearly cant see your point with that post, as it just seems quite inflamatory tbh....

and so what if a fair few younger transpeople have attempted suicide or may not have lived had they not had early access to recources?
you do realise 75% of transsexuals attempt suicide before 20 right? and 50% of those succeed... (38% overall of all transsexuals die before 20....) 'disturbing'? yeah, not half.... so stop bashing a media that clearly saves lives...
R >

[dawn]

And then there's the whole question of orientation, sexual attraction preferences which for many also seems to remain clearly defined and unchanging, despite ones alleged gender identity to the contrary?

I don't want to jump down you throat But are you seriously suggesting that i should no longer be bi-sexual because i am becoming female in body ?

You also quoted me saying ""Would i even be alive ... i really dont know, best guess is no."" Perhaps it's my own fault for not giving it context , so i will elaborate. Due to the fact that i moved around alot, i found it hard to make and keep good friends. I think gender issues compounded that. A teenagers parents are rarely seen as supportive and because of hormones, and parents tyring to keep control of their "kids" there can be alot of friction, also my sisters did not live near me in my teenage years.... so as i am sure you can imagine i had very little support, and did not feel cared for. So i did make some very good friends on the internet that helped my through some very rough times, and i tried to help them when needed too. They did _not_ know i was trasnsexual. It had nothing to do with transsexuality. They were just friends, nothing more.

I feel that you labeling me an "internet transsexual" was both misinformed and quite offensive.

Just what we need, more labels to segregate people.

[Shana A]

I transitioned in 93, the internet existed, but I didn't have access at that time. I lived in a rural area, was starved for info, I bought every book I could find on the subject. I found out about a transgender support group in a city two hours away and made the trip a few times for monthly meetings, just to have contact with other trans people. The internet has made it much easier to find information and meet other people, both in person or on boards such as this. It's a blessing.

Zythyra

[cindybc]

Hi Kiera The twist in fait I was speaking of was in the story of Canary Conn. I believe that all happens as it should be. Our biggest grief was to deny it and work against it. Believe me it is much easier to go with the flow, let your inner voice be your guide.  Yes it was near impossible to transition at all back then unless one had a sufficient bank account to do so.

Back in those days many people just didn't understand nor did they make any effort to try. Today at least there are way more open minds and with how the system goes now a days people are getting turned into robot, both mommy and daddy working and the kids running around loos all over the place. So I would say 80% are to into themselves to worry much about the trans person walking next to them. That gave me more confidence if not even bold at times. Something gets my curiosity I have to go check it out.

I started  8 years part time then went full time. Now I just don't even give it a second thought about going out as Cindy. It's just an everyday occurrence to me. But I will admit that would have never had the nerve to come out until I discovered there were not just a few but many others out there like me. 

Susan's was also the first TG oriented messaging forums, although I found many others I kept coming back here until about 7 years ago when I came out to be full time out there and on the job as well. I just got to preoccupied with what I was doing to even think about this place until I was pensioned off. Well me I gets to feel like a can of worms when I sit around to long and went out and found me somethings to keep me occupied. SRS finally cam in 2004.

I just don't feel old enough to sit around and knit sweaters I still like a little excitement. I am never going to die, I am going to get abducted by aliens or grow up to be a fairy.

Cindy

[DarthKitty]

Well for me:

When I grew up my parents (more specifically my mother) embraced that I was more feminine than either of my two brothers.  Now that was largely because my mother didn't have a daughter and she let me know I was "supposed to be" the daughter.  So I got treated more as the "delicate" one and they didn't give me any problems when they did catch me dressing.  I was also treated by my friends as being "genderless" (as they put it, he's not a male, he's not a female, he's an 'it,') and my older brother took care of any problems I might've had with others since he was on my school's football team.  Now at the time, this resulted in I didn't have a concept that anything was wrong, and grew up not depressed about my gender. 

Now because of this I grew up pretty healthy mindsetted until I hit college and that's when I actually did start hanging around "men" (I wound up going to a school with a M/F ratio of 5:1.) That's when I started realizing something was seriously wrong.  Prior to that, my only awareness of ->-bleeped-<- was the occasional news story about someone trying to RLE on the job and getting problems because of it, or perv-filled chatrooms on AOL where it was fairly rare if someone in there was TS.  And around then I started to find resources on the web.  Suddenly I was surrounded by a bunch of guys that loved looking at porn on the web, and talking about sex non-stop, drinking, screaming out windows, etc. 

So that's when I realized something was horribly wrong and started searching around the budding Internet.  But at the time, I had either the lighter sentence "maybe I'm gay" or the harder sentence "am I a transsexual?"  Reading on the web at the time, either there were people that were stealth and had been outed, or people struggling hard with their transition.  If anything the early Internet community was not a strong force of support that it is now.

Now as the Internet has grown with more support available and information, so did I grow to accept myself almost directly by ratio in my opinion.  If the Internet was the way it is today I would've most certainly been able to accept myself much faster.  On the other hand, if the Internet didn't exist I probably would've had no concept of what TS was, and would've assumed that my position in life was to just keep bouncing between different peer groups as I did and not quite been able to figure out why I didn't fit in right.  I always managed to do things alone up until I accepted myself, and I'm sure I would've just continued to "fit in" instead of actually fitting in. 

Would I have transitioned without the Internet?  Who knows.  I do know that it would've been much longer in the future and I wouldn't have avoided marriage out of "fear" that I might be a transsexual from having the information available to me early on.  If anything having the knowledge from the budding Internet early on caused more problems in my life than it did good before the dam broke.

-Kit

[KarenLyn]

There seems to be this recurring theme throughout the experience of many younger, so-called "internet transsexuals" which to me is a very disturbing behavioral pattern indeed . . . And then there's the whole question of orientation, sexual attraction preferences which for many also seems to remain clearly defined and unchanging, despite ones alleged gender identity to the contrary?

huh?

What do you mean about sexual orientation and attraction preferances? what the hell has that go to do with gender anyroad?
and personally i find being labeled an 'internet transexual' demeating and god damn rude.... Im going through the same things as you, and every other person with this problem, why am i punished because the media of discovery is different?
are you a 'book transsexual'?
'public library transexual'?
'tv documentry transsexual'?
I clearly cant see your point with that post, as it just seems quite inflamatory tbh....

and so what if a fair few younger transpeople have attempted suicide or may not have lived had they not had early access to recources?
you do realise 75% of transsexuals attempt suicide before 20 right? and 50% of those succeed... (38% overall of all transsexuals die before 20....) 'disturbing'? yeah, not half.... so stop bashing a media that clearly saves lives...
R >

Rachael, Hon, I agree with you 100%. Thanks for putting it out there.

Karen Lyn

[cindybc]

I agree as well, it was 8 years ago I may very well have been found dead from a 100 miles per hour   collision with a rock cut if I hadn't found this group. I am so thankful that I found this group, there wasn't anything close by for trans folks where I could go to get support. Well I still continued for a time sharing and giving support back to those who needed it. Sometimes at all hours of the night it was my way to say thanks and show appreciation of the folks here. Now here it is 8 years later and still doing the same thing but this time around I found that many of the members are youths, some young enough to be my grand kids. Different personalities altogether from when I was here 8 years ago. Most are very intelligent and more advanced in their choices then many of us old turkeys from 8 years ago.

Cindy 

[Alena43]

I would have transitioned without the internet, but like so many others have already said withoot the love and support I have found here, I wouldn't have the courage to be where I am today. i also believe that I would be either locked up in some hospital or dead.

Hugz,
Ariana

[lady amarant]

There seems to be this recurring theme throughout the experience of many younger, so-called "internet transsexuals" which to me is a very disturbing behavioral pattern indeed . . . And then there's the whole question of orientation, sexual attraction preferences which for many also seems to remain clearly defined and unchanging, despite ones alleged gender identity to the contrary?

Keep in mind that gender identity and sexual orientation are two different concepts, related, but distinct. Sexual orientation changes for about a third of trans-people as they transition, or so I've been told (and read) a few times, but it's by no means a given.

and so what if a fair few younger transpeople have attempted suicide or may not have lived had they not had early access to recources?
you do realise 75% of transsexuals attempt suicide before 20 right? and 50% of those succeed... (38% overall of all transsexuals die before 20....) 'disturbing'? yeah, not half.... so stop bashing a media that clearly saves lives...
R >

Thanks Rachael. We all know what a BITCH being gender dysphoric is so I agree that we really can't judge people for being pushed to or over that edge. I know I can't - been there myself a few times. The internet has been the best thing that has happened to trans-people and other gender variant people since Harry Benjamin, I'd say. If nothing else, it's shown us that we're not alone, that there are MANY more of us than anybody guesses at. That we're not freaks. It has been the locomotive force, I think in making gender issues more visible in society at large, and the kind of mainstream acceptance we are starting to get an inkling of is largely due to that visibility, support and self-respect.

The US military invented something good, at least!