greetings

[Ember]

I am a TS female. I am 32 years old, married to another female, and have no children (nor do i plan to).  I've been living as a female for 3 years now, on low-dosage of female hormones for 2 years. I consider myself intelligent and creative. I am a college graduate, and i love art and working with computers. 

Now the bad things: I never had money in my life, and I live day to day. I have never been to a doctor in my entire life since i was a baby. The hormones I take are illegally acquired and without doctors supervision. (NOTE: I do not condone this in the slightest, please do not ask for advice on this, as the only advice I will give is don't do it) Although I self educated myself on all manner of biology, health, and medicine, I know that I am not a doctor.

To make matters worse, i live in the middle of nowhere; near prince george BC canada. There is a local support group (or was) but I am getting no response from them (so either I am being ignored, or they are defunct).

I know that i eventually want SRS, but will even settle for an orchiectomy. I know that I need legit hormones with legit supervision. I know to get any of that, I would need a psychological assessment. I know that everyday it is harder to survive without this, but I have found no alternative.

This is really hard for me. I am not used to asking for help. In this case, its getting more and more dire, as the gender dysphoria within me strengthens. I am trying hard to fight it, but I feel it draggin me down even now.

This is a desperate reach out to someone who may understand and can offer advice. I have done all I can on my own, and now need help to continue. I don't really know how to proceed.

please help,
Ember

[Dennis]

Ember, if you're in BC, assessment and hormones are covered by Medical Services Plan. You have to go to a GP and get a referral to a psychiatrist (you would want to get names of psychs who are trans-friendly) and then your GP can prescribe hormones.

For resources, you could call or write the Three Bridges Health clinic in Vancouver and they'll possibly have a list of names for you:
1292 Hornby Street
Vancouver, BC
V6Z 1W2
      604-736-9844
Fax: 604-734-5918

The only thing you pay for is the hormone itself. If you're on social assistance, that should be covered as well.

As far as therapy goes, it is up to the GP whether or not he or she wants to follow the Benjamin Standards and, if you point out your difficulty in paying for it to a psychiatrist, he or she may make a recommendation in the report that allows you to go ahead at a pace you can afford. Also, the gay and lesbian centre in PG may have some free counselling available.

Granted PG is a bit of a way from anywhere, but if you can find a friendly GP, he or she can refer you to Vancouver for psych assessment. Then it's just a case of getting yourself there.

SRS for MtF's is covered as well, you just have to jump through some hoops.

Dennis

[Ember]

Thank you, you have given me a few good leads that I haven't tried.

I have further issues. I am not a canadian citizen (my spouse is). I can't really afford the paperwork to become one yet. Its an eternal catch 22 when it comes to money and getting what I need. I do believe I put myself into one of the worst scenarios ever, and have very little chance of success short of a miracle. But I do believe in miracles, so I am going to keep on trying. I am going to contact the PG gay and lesbian center, and call that number you gave me. Perhaps they can help get me out of this hole I dug for myself.

Thanks again,
Ember K

[Dennis]

Medical coverage just depends on legal residency (ie: if you are living here legally), not citizenship. And transitioning should not be a bar to becoming a citizen, so don't worry about that. You can have your permanent resident papers changed to reflect your name and gender when you have the rest of the paperwork in order.

If you don't have legal residency, it's easier to acquire if you are legally married to your partner. There's still a $1500 fee though, and it takes a year or two to process.

Dennis

[Ember]

Honestly Denis, you are a guru sent from heaven. This information has been nearly impossible for me to obtain. This gives me a lot of hope. I can see me scrounging up 1500$ and even having to wait for a couple years for things like medical coverage. Thats better than a vague sense of hopelessness, and getting the run arround after staying on hold with an automatic service for hours, only to get almost no information. I am legally married, and have been for 7 years. its one small blessing about having "male" stamped on my birth certificate, is that I was able to legally marry the person I wanted to. I am thankful for that, at least. Do you know what department that I have to contact to get the ball rolling?
What pitfalls should I watch out for?

Thanks again, you have been immeasurably helpful.
Ember K

[Dennis]

This website has the information and the forms:

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/sponsor/familymembers.html

And, it wouldn't matter if you were legally the same sex - any gender can marry any gender in BC.

One potential pitfall is that you are supposed to apply from outside Canada. They will only let you apply from within Canada for "humanitarian and compassionate" reasons. For example, if you are from a country where your life would be in danger if you were to return pending your application, they might let you stay in Canada.

If you are American, you might want to consider applying through the Seattle visa office (although all applications are initially processed through Buffalo I think), and just travelling down there for any interviews that are necessary.

One thing you do not want to do is break any immigration laws while your application is pending. That means if you are American, you need to go back to the States every six months and return to Canada as a visitor. If you are not American, you may want to give the humanitarian and compassionate application a shot.

If you are travelling back into Canada at any time that your application is pending, try and avoid telling them (without lying if asked) that you have an application pending. They may decide to refuse you entry if they think there is a risk that you could overstay.

Your spouse will have to sponsor you (agree to be financially responsible for you) for 10 years.

LEGIT (the Lesbian and Gay Immigration Task Force) http://www.legit.ca/, although nominally just L & G, is also T-friendly and may be able to help you with any questions.

Dennis

[Ember]

*sigh*

Ok another issue. I can not afford to leave canada for 6 months at a time. My spouse is handicap and needs my assistence on a daily basis. Is there ANY possible way that would fall into the "humanitarian and compassionate" clause? Cause i just can't risk it. I know I can live here indefinitely under the radar and take care of her for as long as my sanity holds. I am an american citizen btw.

I can't really afford frequent trips to seattle either, which is fine because 1500$ is out of my reach right now anyway. No, ultimately, I think im screwed.

Thanks again,
I will continue to contact as many sources as possible in search of an answer.

Ember K.

[Dennis]

Having a disabled spouse might qualify you for humanitarian and compassionate status. That sounds like a valid reason to me. Make sure you give them lots of details about why you need to be there to care for her.

And I didn't mean leave for six months. You can leave for a couple of days, but you have to get out every six months if you don't have H&C status to remain.

Give it a shot. Don't give up already.

Dennis

[Ember]

Ah ok, i was never sure what that six months meant till now. Thank you again!
Actually I can leave every six months or so, i have stuff in the states i have to pick up a little at a time.

ok, not so bad. maybe i can do this afterall.

Sorry for being so dramatic. I tend to feel things really heavy lately.

Thanks again,
Ember K