(I had to really consider where to post this, this is def. Real Life stuff, there is def. the aspect of being tested... kick this to wherever if it don't fit)
I have to sort some of this out, get it out of my head and get back to making some music today, so gonna use this opp., maybe even get some feedback.
I have a roommate, 26-y.o. girl (I am a little bit older, lol); a real sweetheart, so attractive in so many ways. She moved in here with her boyfriend, who she had to give the heave-ho to before too long. She and I have become really good friends. We are spending our spare time together more-and-more. Now she really needs to live closer to her work, the commute to the city is a bit much, looking for a new place. She is more than dropping hints that she, well, would be really cool with partnering up (this is pretty much impossible for me (not to mention the peculiarness of such an idea), my workstation here requires extensive space, and I am very lucky to have it here).
When the boy-girl split happened, of course I was supportive as I could be, a shoulder to cry on. Also I am expressive, not going to not be, and when she looks good, smells good, I will tell her. ("I wish my boyfriend said those things to me!") Some days she looks, well too good. "Well I'm not trying to!"
And since she can rely on me, she does. She just bought a new laptop, for instance...
Now this is a 'straight' girl... but I get these signs sometimes. She likes to show me these videos, MTV of course totally features ridiculously hot girls dancing like fools, and she and I do like to dance. "She's hella sexy, doncha think?!" "Look at that top she's wearing!" (the man o' the house asked me the other day, 'are you turning her queer?'; her Berkeley friends sure tend toward lesbian hippies, she is catnip to them...)
I first felt a strong attraction one night; the usual insomnia, she's in the kitchen cooking with boyfriend - I asked her which tea would be best, she stopped what she was doing, concocted a special tea for me, took real care to do so.
Right after boyo was gone, I began to feel that sexual tension coming from her a little bit, made me nervous... More and more, she's standing closer, we touch more... you know what I'm saying. Now I have never pushed any situation, and I SURE am not about that now.
The only thing I am a little bit concerned about (neither of us is the co-dependant type, she's a girl that can be by herself, so am I) is her realization of what is happening, and it may be a little freaky for her.
Que sera, sera and all that, I'm going with the flow, but what a trip!
