Hello, everyone and greetings from the humid streets of south Florida! My name's Vincent, although nobody calls me that yet.
I may be a minor but I've got major plans for improvement in my life. Oh, where do I even start?
I'm biologically female but from the time I was a lonely little child, I knew I was a male. I mean, it wasn't like an immediate, "Whoa, I know exactly what is going on and how to fix it" kind of feeling. It was just a gradual creeping sensation. For the majority of my younger years I just thought that I looked different from the other boys and that was where the differences ended. But then, of course, it was reinforced numerous times that I was a girl through normal school activities and I didn't have the mental capacity to wonder very much about it. I was a girl and there was nothing else to it. I lived in a state of oblivious acceptance, not really minding it.
Honestly, it didn't make that big an impact on me as a little kid, most likely because kids don't care about that stuff, right? If a girl dresses like a boy, she's a tomboy and that's fine. For any of you lovely ladies on the other side of that problem, I don't envy you. It must've been harder for you than it was for me.
Anyway, I wandered through primary school life enjoying that fact that I was very tomboyish and nobody cared. Because does it really matter if your little girl plays with dead frogs and robots and tries to pee standing up? Nah.
But then, puberty hit me like a giant ugly baseball bat to the face and screamed, "Wake up, buddy! You see these boobs? These are yours and there isn't anything you can do about it!" and "Look! Blood is coming out of an orifice you never wanted to have in the first place!"
I didn't like it one bit. In effort to please both society and my worried mother ("Are you gay or something?" she asked when I cut my hair short in sixth grade), I dressed in a moderately feminine way, trying to keep it toned down and unrevealing. I hated it though and I wished so badly that I wasn't this strange, awkward girl I saw when I looked in the mirror. I felt that I was a strange, awkward boy, sitting around inside this XX body and wondering if he'd ever get out.
And all through middle school, I bumbled about the hallways, feeling scared and miserable and utterly penis-less.
A substitute teacher came into class one day. We were laughing and talking too loudly I guess.
"Young man," she said, addressing me. "Can you please keep it down?"
I nodded. She nodded back and walked away.
"Aren't you going to correct her?" my friend asked.
"No." Then I realized how weird this sounded so I scrambled for an excuse. "I mean, it's not like she's gonna be here for long so what does it matter?"
Fast forward a few years and you'll find me smack dab in the middle of a high school so full of discrimination and hate that it was becoming unbearable. I've seen people outed, beaten up and humiliated and I didn't plan on becoming one of them. Rumours spread like wildfire. I was a slut, a ->-bleeped-<-got, a queer, or whatever derogatory word just happened to come into peoples' minds that day. I was tired of it. So, I moved from my home in Texas to live with my grandmother. I've explained to her what I wanted to do, how I wanted to go on hormones and hopefully go about living life as a normal dude. She has been amazing and supports me all the way and I can't thank her enough for that. Although she is still a little confused as to why I still find men attractive rather than women. I am too but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
"And while we're talking about improvements to our lives," my grandmother said, a hopeful glint in her eyes. "Maybe you could lay off the donuts?"
Well that's pushing it a little too far, don't you think? You can't separate me from donuts. It's true love, I tell you!
Oh well.
In conclusion to this awfully long rant, hello, my friends. I'm glad I found this site, as it's helped me out a lot recently. You're all awesome people and I'm excited to talk to you all. If you read this far, thanks and I'll be sure to share some donuts with you if we ever run into each other.
