The silence of the heart

[Susan]

We have all have had suicidal feelings in the past. The goal of this poem is to show people contemplating suicide that there is hope in the future. I combined my personal experience in the past with the experiences that other people I know have had. Remember no matter how bad it is now with time things will improve. It may not be tomorrow but it will eventually happen. It's said time heals all wounds and my personal experience has verified that idiom. We all have to resist the urge to take the easy way out of a situation. We must live because in living we give others the inspiration to continue living themselves. This is the gift your life gives to the world. Anyway, this is my first attempt at serious poetry. Feel free to let me know what you think and especially if it helps you in your own life.


The silence of the heart

Echo's abound in the silence of the heart.
Joy is not around.
Memories shout out.
Tears flow down.
Love can not be found.
   
Depression's cry resounds.
The soul fails and lays down.
Misery portends.
Suicide whispers on the wind.
Maybe this is the end.

The sky darkens.
The sun ducks down.
You lie in bed.
Morpheus is dead.
Bad thoughts wrack the head.
 
The crack of dawn arrives.
Alas, Sleep has not touched your eyes.
But you can no longer cry.
Sooner or later the tears must begin to dry.
You ask your self the reason why then sigh.

Life sings it's eternal song
It challenges you to go on
In the end we do accept
This choice is really for the best
The decision we find lifted from our chest
 
The daily bump and grind
Lifts the specter from our mind
We find that once again
Life asserts it is time to begin.
Loves tender wings brush your face again.

A lot of the meaning in this is based on the words chosen. For one example if we take the line.

Bad thoughts wrack the head.

by looking up the word wrack we see

Main Entry: wrack
Function: transitive verb
: to utterly ruin : WRECK  

So the suicidal thoughts are driving out all other thoughts. There are many more word gems buried. I will leave you and your dictionary to find them.

[Jamie Lauren]

{{{Hugs}}} After I lost my job Dec. 10, 1999 because I wasn't stopping my transitioning and completing plans for my SRS, I spent a long while writing such poetry. For me, writing is a therapy, allowing me to put my emotions into words that I might not otherwise be able to share. I found the writing in this instance to be the emotional outlet/release I needed to get through that period of my life.

It's only when writing is removed that depressions overshadow my life.

Here is just one of those I wrote:

"It Hurt's"©
by Jamie Lauren Wyrick
Sunday, January 02, 2000)

I keep my eyes closed,
The thoughts won't leave,
They just hide,
My heart is burdened,
No where to turn.

Hope is lost,
My soul is dead,
Ripped out of warm flesh,
Dropped on a cold stone floor,
Fed to the beast,
That forever hungers.

The suffering,
Sleepless nights,
Sorrow so awful,
Scared of each dawn.

The hurt,
That never goes away,
Watching as youth fades,
As hope clashes.

Birds flying freely and serenely,
Across skies unfettered,
Contemplation from modest height's built by men,
I long to join them,
One step,
Then forever free.

Suffering,
Sorrow so awful,
Embracing each nightfall,
The hurting, the pain,
Pictures in my head,
Wanting me dead.

Fear comforts me,
Darkness is where I belong,
In the darkness I fit in,
I'm not who you think I am,
Do you regret me that?
Why try so hard to change me?
Someday,
Peace,
When I die.

[beth_finallyme]

Very beautiful and moving poems Susan and Jamie. I know i have felt those same feelings and emotions.



beth

[Nero]

thank you for writing that poem susan

[Buffy]

For those of us who's lifes have hung by a thread.................

Both the above poems are wonderful.

Rebecca

[Sarah Louise]

Thank you for that poem Susan, it is needed.

Sarah L.

[MarcosGirl]

Susan and Jamie:

These types of thoughts are something I struggle with on a daily basis.  These poems touched me deeply.  I've never tried my hand at poetry, but if I had your gift, I couldn't have picked better words to describe what my mind goes through.

Thank you for sharing them!

Pam

[tinkerbell]

That's a very good poem, Susan.  I am surprised I hadn't seen this thread before, thank you for bringing it back to life .  I can relate to most of what you have written, and of course it touches me deeply to revive experiences which I had buried within myself.  Thank you.


tinkerbell