Quote from: Cindi Jones on March 11, 2008, 08:00:22 PM
Stella,
You might attend the FTM group and see if you are welcome there. They may also have pointers to other active groups in the area. I know that if you are willing to drive over the hill into sillycon valley, there are support groups over there. It's not a long drive you know. There are many people who do that drive every day commuting to work.
I started my transition without having any real support from a local trans woman. But I did find friends. That's the key doll..... friends. It doesn't matter if they are trans or not. Really. You can get a lot of trans related support here. What you need is real life help from a girl friend.
I would think that in Santa Cruz, you'd be able to find lots of friends 
That place is off the wall with a celebration of variety.
Chin up!
Cindi
^_^
You are incredibly sweet, thanks for your support and help.
Actually, yeah, I'm one of those people who commutes to SV (I work in Sunnyvale) every day for work, so I could surely attend whatever is going on over the hill.
As far as the transmen are concerned, seriously, I'm up to my ears in 'em. I'm actually into guys, generally, but my boyfriend is a transman, and in that regard you hit the nail on the head: he has been my guide from day one (nearly four years ago when he began transitioning, well before we were lovers.) He helps me a lot with the theory of ->-bleeped-<-, and we have each-other's backs in arguments about gender, for sure, but the idea of going into Victoria's Secret with me makes him recoil, and my obsessive concern with hair-removal has him in disbelief.
I definitely wouldn't want to give the impression that I don't have enough support, but more and more recently I've been feeling like my idea of what it means to be trans is being distorted by the internet. I keep finding pictures of gorgeous women who are trans, and I think to myself, "That could be me in 2-5 years!" and then I read the caption and realize she transitioned when she was 12. I want to meet a transwoman and find out what is really possible (passable, perhaps) and learn more about the daily experience of being trans in Santa Cruz (though, I guess the Valley is a fair analog.) Also, it's a lot about hand-holding and experience. A veteran transwoman is going know what local stores sell cloths that will fit a larger frame and where's a cheap place to go for electrolysis, etc.
I have tons of friends, though. Just last night I was baking cookies and watching anime with a cyswoman friend of mine while I told her all about the effects of estrogen and progesterone on the male body. She was mesmerized.
Additionally, and most importantly, I'm holding off on seriously transitioning for right now because in a month I'm moving into a housing coop in Santa Cruz where I'll be living with 25 super trans-friendly people, and finding someone there who knows something about feminine haircuts, or who has an old bra to donate won't be hard (hopefully.)
This part of my life is scary, for all of the reasons I just mentioned, but most of all because I still have choices to make. About personal clothing style, and haircuts. About passing and breast forms. About hormones and vaginoplasties. Having a knowledgeable guiding voice on whom I can count will (hopefully) be an invaluable asset. I want to hear and see as much as I can.
I hope you won't take this as a refutation of your advice. Certainly, I agree and thank you. Obviously, valid and experienced input is exactly what I'm seeking, so thank you, Cindi.
Stephen/Stella
