what gender/s do you see in other people?

[Shana A]

As an androgyne who doesn't appear outwardly androgynous, my gender identity or lack thereof is likely invisible to most people who think of gender as binary. I've been thinking about this regarding my social interactions with other people. Probably most people with whom I interact with have no idea of my internal sense of gender unless I were to tell them. Likewise, I don't really know what gender other people see themselves as, unless we've talked about it. If I were to meet other people who identified as androgyne, I might not even know them to be fellow non binary gender travelers unless they greeted me with the secret handshake. Which I unfortunately can't even remember... 

These days I often find myself seeing other people through my transgender/androgyne lenses. For example, is that really macho acting guy actually a trans-man? Or maybe M2F? Does that woman really identify as androgyne?

So, my question for other androgynes, what gender/s do you see in your daily interactions with other people?

Z

[Jaycie]

Well,  considering that gender isn't a visible thing at all to begin with i would personally have to answer the question with "i don't".

Which of course leads to this part...

Probably most people with whom I interact with have no idea of my internal sense of gender unless I were to tell them. Likewise, I don't really know what gender other people see themselves as, unless we've talked about it.

and makes it seem quite silly to base ones interaction with others on something that can't be seen or perceived after thinking about this subject for a bit i think.

[sd]

These days I often find myself seeing other people through my transgender/androgyne lenses. For example, is that really macho acting guy actually a trans-man? Or maybe M2F? Does that woman really identify as androgyne?

I hate to admit it but I have been doing this as well, in the end though it is still just a guess. I think most people would wonder why you were even asking (or be offended) if you bothered to.

The more I think about this though the more it bothers me. It is interesting to do, but at the same time I would hate to clock a transsexual and make them uncomfortable. I don't think I have, but I would feel bad if I did.

[Pica Pica]

I had someone today comment on my boots (the black industrial doc martins) 'so there is something male about you'....they were a little put out when I described the purple ones - so other people see me as a man who isn't. I guess I see some people as androgynes are not.

[Shana A]

The more I think about this though the more it bothers me. It is interesting to do, but at the same time I would hate to clock a transsexual and make them uncomfortable. I don't think I have, but I would feel bad if I did.

Hmmm, it isn't so much that I'm clocking a ts person, as seeing people outside the boundaries of the binary. There's an aspect of this that I didn't quite describe properly in my initial post. I was thinking about various people here, if we met on the street, I might not know that they were fellow androgynes, and that got me thinking about how many of us there might be out in the world... invisible to each other.

Z

[sd]

Hmmm, it isn't so much that I'm clocking a ts person, as seeing people outside the boundaries of the binary. There's an aspect of this that I didn't quite describe properly in my initial post. I was thinking about various people here, if we met on the street, I might not know that they were fellow androgynes, and that got me thinking about how many of us there might be out in the world... invisible to each other.

Z

Exactly.

There is probably quite a lot of us but finding each other would be very tough. Could you spot me? If you were looking I think there is a good chance you might, but I am not sure if you could with others. Trying to separate us from those pushing boundaries could be troublesome. People on chat forums often mistake me for a metrosexual but if you saw what I look like, any notion of me being metro would be quickly tossed.


By the way, I hope no one got the impression that I am going around trying to spot ts people. That is not what I was trying to say. 

[Shana A]

Exactly.

There is probably quite a lot of us but finding each other would be very tough. Could you spot me? If you were looking I think there is a good chance you might, but I am not sure if you could with others. Trying to separate us from those pushing boundaries could be troublesome. People on chat forums often mistake me for a metrosexual but if you saw what I look like, any notion of me being metro would be quickly tossed.


By the way, I hope no one got the impression that I am going around trying to spot ts people. That is not what I was trying to say. 

Not to worry sd, I didn't get that impression. I can also see how what I said could be interpreted differently than I meant. It isn't that I see ultra macho guy as being FTM, but more an awareness of how people perform their gender. Sometimes almost like caricatures. Some people seem comfortable in themselves and just are. A myriad of possibilities.

Just walking by you in the street, I probably wouldn't notice anything. If I'm talking/interacting with someone though, I'm more aware of their gender performance (or lack of it). I'm often rather amused by peoples' adherence to gender roles. I don't judge it, am simply noticing it and interested in how pervasive this is. I do notice that people will often relax around me, and not feel that they need to conform to gendered behavior since I'm not reinforcing it.

Z