Becoming insteading of doing

[TheBattler]

Hi all,

I was wondering tonight why I have such a difficault time accepting I will be TG for the rest of my life. I relise that when I finally accept I am TG I will of become a new person. Insteading of the doing (putting on a skirt because I like it) I would of become a new person (putting on a skirt because I am TG). I will still enjoy wearing a skirt but my life would of changed as I will be happy about myself.

I had a good day at work today but it was spoilted at the end. I saw a photo of someone (work related) and was imediatly draw to her nice earings. That got my talking to my work college about my feminine side and how I notice all the feminine things. In talking to a couple of people at running the guy (Garry) said he does not notice any feminine earings such as the one worn recently by Sally. Those earing where very nice and I was transfixed on them for some time at the BBQ. Unfortunally Julia said she is not into jewly so that did not help. It is just interesting how the mind works and we have to change out mind and/or body in order to be happy and enjoy our lives.

The other thing that worried me is how to find a partner. I also wanted a girl friend so I will not be so lonley. Now I have to accept I am TG which means any partner will need to be very understanding even if she does not know what is driving me. Half the time I wish I had more control so I could stear my life back to where is was 6 months ago.

Alice

[Buffy]

Hi Alice....

For all of us, I guess the biggest fear we have is the unknown and the future (or what can happen in it) is a case of that.

I denied my feelings for many years, initially because I did not understand the concept of Transexualism, then because I was terrified to death and paranoid of what may (or in fact may not) happen. I also denied my feelings because of the impact it could have on my family.... Guilt.

I also thought long a deep about finding a future partner andthat scared me, the thought that I might have to spend the rest of my life alone.....BUT I am now ready to look for a partner as I am happy and confident in myself. I am not letting my TG status become a barrier, I had to find myself before worrying about a significant other.

I to could never get pass the fact that I could deny my feelings and put them into a compartment in my mind, but then something (some times small) would bring those feelings back, pretty earrings, nice hair, perfume, a girl in a bikini.... they sent me into depressed mode overdrive and I wished it was me who had those things... Jealousy.

Unfortunately Being TG comes with a whole host of unshakeable and deep seated negative emotions, the act of dressing, wearing a skirt or those earrings is a form of relief that can only be transient. True relief can only be achieved by living the life, so that those negative emotions, feelings and jealousy are no longer yours.

Buffy

[Bdnewgirl]

finding a mate  has been my biggest fear and let down. I have found myself when I am around my female friends wondering about the cute shoes or great outfit. I want to go up and ask all about them but I have to watch myself.

Love @ Hugs
Brandi

[LostInTime]

I disagree about becoming a new person.  You would be merely stopping the fight against your own nature.  Embracing who you are is not about becoming something else but rather embracing who you already are in heart and soul.

That is not to say there will not be changes, because there will be.  Life that is unchanging is not a life that offers growth and by becoming more aware of who you are and your place in the world, you will learn new things and grow accordingly.  Growth does not go unnoticed by those who are around us.

In many ways I am the person that I always was as I grew up.  However, I have changed due to being more at peace with myself.  I no longer have that inner war going on and it allows me to focus on other parts in my life.

[Melissa]

I to could never get pass the fact that I could deny my feelings and put them into a compartment in my mind, but then something (some times small) would bring those feelings back, pretty earrings, nice hair, perfume, a girl in a bikini.... they sent me into depressed mode overdrive and I wished it was me who had those things... Jealousy.

I definitely felt that way.  I still do from time to time because of limitations I have with having the wrong genitalia, but not nearly to the degree I once did.  I also have found that the more time goes by with me living as a woman, the frequency of these feeling diminishes.  In fact, it's been quite a while since I last felt those - probably a few weeks ago.  Usually these are triggered by seeing a woman more beautiful and realizing she doesn't have to worry about passing, she can just be herself - and then I realize she has a visible adam's apple.

Melissa

[Chaunte]

I disagree about becoming a new person.  You would be merely stopping the fight against your own nature.  Embracing who you are is not about becoming something else but rather embracing who you already are in heart and soul.

That is not to say there will not be changes, because there will be.  Life that is unchanging is not a life that offers growth and by becoming more aware of who you are and your place in the world, you will learn new things and grow accordingly.  Growth does not go unnoticed by those who are around us.

In many ways I am the person that I always was as I grew up.  However, I have changed due to being more at peace with myself.  I no longer have that inner war going on and it allows me to focus on other parts in my life.

I agree whole-heartedly with Lost.

You are and will be the same person we all know and love.  The difference, and I submit the only one, is that the internal confict will cease.  Don't be surprised if you blood pressure drops 15 points or more!

You will still wear a skirt because you like wearing a skirt.  You will still notice feminine things because you enjoy it.

There is nothing you have to do because you are transgendered.

There is one thing you need to do because you are human - be true to who you are.

Saying that you are transgendered is simply calling a truce to the internal conflict.  From here, you can explore the rest of your personality.

Chaunte

ps.  And I am serious about the blood pressure!