Hi! I am..umm..well..err..I am not sure what I am. Nor am I sure what I will be. But I know that what I see in the mirror is not what I feel in my heart and soul.
I found Susan's by accident, a very lucky accident. You all seem very supportive and have good heads on your shoulders. I have looked at similar forums and found them to be either meat markets or simply dead.
Just a bit about me- When I was 5 or 6, I used to look at the Sears catalog and want to be the women I saw in the pictures. I dressed on the sly every chance I got, and I cannot count the number of times in my life I have purged out of fear. Every time I tried to reason to myself that I should "be a man!", it would only last a short time and then I would be right back to wanting to dress, even to be seen and accepted as a woman. Only recently have I come truly to terms with what I feel, and when I did, it was a combination of supreme elation and overwhelming fear.
Most of my adult life has been lived in depression. As a result, I developed many self-destructive and unhealthy habits that still plague me. Accepting that I might be GID and deciding to explore the possibility, explore myself....has done wonders for my outlook on life. I have made a commitment to improve my health and created a list of goals. I'm very excited!
One last tidbit..simply because it delighted me so... This past Christmas I bought a pretty stocking to hang up. During the height of holiday shopping, I bought a bunch of girlie things, such as hair bows, cheap jewelry, all manner of little goodies. They went right into the stocking to be untouched until Christmas morning. When the day came, I hopped out of bed, grabbed the stocking and dug in. It was marvellous. I wonder if anyone here has ever done the same thing?
Thank you for listening!
Jonna
