There She Goes

[Lessa]

Hey! This is my little shot at doing a poem about my feelings. I have a long story that I'm also working on but I'm not sure I should post it because of how long it is. Well anyway heres my little poem I wrote when I was extremely sad and depressed last year. ENJOY .

There She Goes

There she goes, perfect in every way, wearing a green skirt with flowers on it that goes down to her knees and a green top to match. I look down at her feet and see black high-heeled boots that zip-up from her ankle to just below her knee; they go all the way up her long legs. I look at her face, she has bright red lipstick on and blue eye shadow, I see her fiery red hair, long and beautiful waving in the wind. Oh, how I wish that I could be her. Oh, how I hate my body! How I hate the thing between my legs! I ask god why? Why did you make me a guy?!? There she goes, so happy, so full of life, knowing that she is a girl along with everyone else, even if shes not completely comfortable with it. She gets periods and hates them, when I hear her complain about them, I think, "God, what I wouldn't give to experience that!!" It makes me sad, knowing that I will never have one, and that I will never be able to have kids. She looks at me and says "Hi, Jack". Those words rip though me like daggers, its not the hi part, but the Jack part that rips me apart. For this "Jack" person does not exist and has never existed with in myself, I have always been Lessa and never Jack, but she doesn't know that, and to her I'm this "Jack" person, a person who is a complete alien to me, but everyone else seems to know him. I look at her, and stare into those girlish eyes that I so badly want for few seconds before I say "Hi". She smiles at me, and walks away, there she goes, and there I stay watching her, hearing the heel of her boots hit ground, and seeing that green skirt and her fiery red hair wave in the air. So, so jealous. There she goes...

-Lessa

P.S. Jack is NOT my given name.  

[Chaunte]

Lessa,

I like, and can I ever sympathise with what you wrote!

Ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have another writer here at the Forum!

Chaunte

[Lessa]

*Blushes*

Thanks .

[jan c]

There she goes, so happy, so full of life, knowing that she is a girl along with everyone else, even if shes not completely comfortable with it.  

Well, maybe we kinda sorta get to go through it, puberty more the right way; the touching part of this, your, our sadness, is that it won't be quite authentic as hers...

[Jillieann Rose]

Oh Wow that is good Lessa. 
I live in the role of "Jack" the person who never existed.
I can't never be the young woman with the green skirt and her fiery red hair wave in the air.
But Jillieann has been alive inside all the time and she cries with you over the lost years and relationships.
You are a true sister.

Jillieann

[jan c]

That is really very very good Lessa, by the way... keep up the good work

[madison]

Thanks for sharing Lessa.

And Jillean, come on now, a little hair dye, a pretty flowing green skirt, and YOU ARE that young woman. As long as you are among the very young at heart! (See full lyrics here).