"losing" your social life

[findingreason]

Does anyone feel like that when they focus fully on transition to correct what's wrong, that as things go on, you feel like you are losing your social life? I've been looking to move away from the area I grew up, and transition, and I have put my full focus into it. I feel as if I am beginning to not really have a life anymore, as I prepare to pack my bags and leave, and I want back a life, but until I move, it's kind of just...gone. There's emptiness, and not much connection with others, except by internet, and even then I can't talk about much except that I am looking to move.

It's kind of a lonely road I put myself on, but I need to move away from all my SO/friends, to start over to transition.

Can anyone relate to this story?

[Natalie3174]

Thats exactly what Im going through. I decided to stay though. I want to move to complete my transition and it's not easy finding new friends. But the Internet sure helps you feel like your not alone. Plus I stll see my mother who see's me as a medical situation.
Just take one step at a time. But if you see that you have to move to transition properly and you can afford to by all means do it!

[findingreason]

Yeah, it's gotten to a point, I can't face people I know, it's way to embarrassing, even if they are supportive. I will start HRT in a new environment where I know very few people, and I don't really care what other people I don't know will think. I will come back eventually to face my family and friends, but after transition, so that they will have no choice but to accept it....or reject it.

All the negativity of "you have to know for sure...." or "you should really wait a few years" from people close is too much when I am trying to find my ground to stand on. I know they mean well, but it isn't helping the matter.

[Natalie3174]

Whatever you decide I hope things go well for you. My family said they accepted it. Then left me stranded. Its taken years for me to recover on my own.
Post Merge: February 27, 2009, 03:33:59 AM
I was just thinking that most of my friends wer'nt real good friends anyway as they couldnt stay away from my sisiters and slept with them. One is even married to my older sister. Sometimes I wonder if they liked me and couldnt sleep with me so they went for my sisters. I remember one of them telling me he loved me and wanted to kiss me but he was drunk. Oh another said I should put on a skirt and pluck my eyebrows and he would sleep with me.
I guess my sisters protected me from them but I was too shy to save them from my friends. But I shouldnt have hard feelings. I wasnt out at the time allthough they obviously knew.
Making new friends has been easy because it's obvious now as I wear womans clothes that feel comfortable..(guys clothes just didnt fit me-wrong body shape.)
Just remember transition can be rather expensive so go where the money is and you should do ok! Acceptance comes with time and just remember that some peole will never accept it so just ignore them and do your best to get along with people.

[Northern Jane]

My social life started to die in my late teens. With no possible resolution to the problem, I started to drift into depression and disconnect from everyone. I was going down and didn't want anyone caught in the whirlpool. When SRS suddenly became available, life changed 180 degrees. I moved away, lost all my old friends, but it didn't take long to have a whole new life and new friends. I was a much better person and everybody wanted to be around me.

[Kimberly]

I think my social life could be classified as a still birth >.<
Worse, by choice, my own.
^*shrug*

[Icephoenyx]

Even though I am pre-transition for the most part, I am out to all of my good friends. I do wonder, however, if I'll be able to handle it when I show up to a party one day in a skirt....I might be too embarassed and/or it might be so awkward I may have to start anew anyways....

Chrissi

[gothique11]

I was pretty social and continued to be pretty social during my transition. Although, I had lost some friends, while I gained others. I've even had support where I didn't think I'd have any. I haven't been as social in the last few months, although, 'cause I've been going through a lot and I haven't felt like going out. Nothing to do with transition, just other things.

It can be hard to put yourself out there, especially when transitioning. It's a lot easier to sit at home and hide from everyone, 'cause you don't have to put up with people or judgments.  But I think it's good to go out 'cause you learn a lot of social skills that you wouldn't otherwise learn. I'm glad that I pushed myself to go out and learn those social skills, and it made transition easier over time.

[Janet_Girl]

It is hard to be social, when you are at home.  But I don't belong to any group or club and I hate bars.

Because I am also in college on line it is hard to get out.

Janet

[imaz]

Well I've ended up with the best social life I've ever had...

Probably due to being myself instead of trying to hide away.

[Gracie Faise]

Not really, no.

[Alyssa M.]

I'm with Gracie. It's been a struggle, and everything in my life suffers because of that, but overall, I'm so much closer to my friends now. I feel more myself and I'm happier, and that helps a lot.

I agree with Natalie -- it can be hard to get out there sometimes, but it's always less hard than I make it out to be, and much better in the long run.

~Alyssa