This moderator agrees, irfakt. And is moving her reply to your post over here to your new intro. Enjoy your stay.
In all the "silly moderator" discussion and then the merging of topics, irfakt, I think the point of your post kinda got lost.
Just so ya know, sweetie. Your story is not at all unusual. It reminds me of me (way too many years ago to admit, though!!)
Pretty much all you wrote about on that WoW post has fit me at one time or another in my life.
Marriage and 'getting over it,' periods of deep depression. Feeling 'all alone' or like I was going to be an 'exile' if I followed my heart.
Eventually, I did follow my heart and although I don't regret or wish away my previous life, I can also see that had I done things differently in some ways I might have been a more fully-realized person than I am, at an earlier time. Although maybe not at all. I like to think I needed to go through what I have gone through to be myself.
But, we all often require trial-and-error in making the journey through our lives. (Sometimes I'm pretty certain that that's the way all of us live all of the time, trial-and-error.)
If you feel like you would like to wait for transition, then do so.
If you feel like you need to get married, well, maybe you should try it. I'd suggest though, that if you do you be
totally upfront and open about your interior struggles with your partner before you ever go through a ceremony. That would include telling her that you are aware that almost no one every 'gets over it' through marriage and family-raising. And that there is a great likelihood that at some point in future you will be forced to transition to save your own life.
Stress to that woman, when you find her, that you DON'T want her to think she is a 'cure' for your problem. That if you do transition later that it in no way involves a lack or failure in herself that she couldn't 'cure you.'
I say that because I think many of our former partners might have either made different choices about marrying us and even about divorce had we been upfront and open on the git with them.
Ya see, luv, there is no cure, just ways to relieve it, to alter its focus and to ameliorate it so much that it becomes pretty much unnoticeable. Transition is the pathway through for a transsexual. There will still be concerns about looks, learning, etc after the physical parts are behind us -- everyone seems to have that.
Still the struggles to live a human life are universal. Transition doesn't make you, me or her over there any less human. Nor does it give us a by-pass for normal human hopes, dreams, struggles and triumphs. It's simply a pathway to relieving that terrible sense that one's body doesn't match one's psyche.
But, as a woman-becoming-crone I can attest that GID never goes away. In fact, it tends to return with a vengeance you will not believe as you get older, if you haven't transitioned.
30 is probably a low-average right now for completed transitions age-wise. So, although that twelve years seems like a long time right now, it would place you about the current average I suspect.
You have people here who have experienced this. We may be good guides, or poor ones, depending on what your soul speaks to you. Our paths are always our own, although having some companionship and understanding are very nice things indeed. Some of us struggled with GID for very long times thinking that we were the ONLY one who had this terrible condition.
At least internet and more advanced media reporting and more research has opened GID to far more people, in far more areas of the world, in the past fifteen years than ever 'knew' about it before. So take heart and stay with us awhile.
In reading your WoW post I 'chime' with what you wrote and feel that you are my kin.
BTW, 15 posts, I think, allows you to PM.
I bid you welcome, sister, and wish you fair weather as you travel.
Blessed Be,
Nichole
