Passing

[foreversarah]

Hi,

I haven't started HRT yet but I'm worried about, when I do, how passable I will be once it has had it's full effect and how long it will be until I pass as a girl. Most of my male puberty has happened.

Thanks

Sarah

[mickiejr1815]

well, tell us, hun, how has puberty affected you? do you have more muscular tissue than you would like? taller than you would like? have a 5 oclock shadow that is so dense that beard makeup won't even hide it?

please give us more info, and everybody on here is more than willing to help.


Best Wishes,
Mickie

[foreversarah]

Hi,

I feel I haven't gone that far in puberty I have very few beard hairs but my muscles are a problem.

Sarah

[mickiejr1815]

Hi, Sarah, i got lucky in that respect, i'm 25 and i never filled out for  manly puberty, which i'm so thankful for. i'm sorry i won't be of much help with muscles, but i'm sure one of the other ladies on here could advise you. tbh, i have seen some quite built women around a lot more. i think if you don't look like a body builder you should be ok. wish i could help more.


best wishes,
Mickie

[cindianna_jones]

I got the passing down pretty well before I started HRT.  I really didn't have the chance to get proper medical care in the early days.  It cost money... and I had none.

Cindi

[Berliegh]

Hi,

I haven't started HRT yet but I'm worried about, when I do, how passable I will be once it has had it's full effect and how long it will be until I pass as a girl. Most of my male puberty has happened.

Thanks

Sarah

HRT isn't a magic potion that will make you pass.....some people pass before HRT and some people never pass before or after HRT. Passing is more related to your physical structure, size and make up...than medication..

[cindybc]

Hi Foreversarah Could you post a picture that would help us a lot in debating what what with you? The hormones make some very noticeable changes even in the facial. Since you are fairly young I would imagine transitioning will have some good results. Whether you could pass with or without the hormone's, I believe a photo would greatly help us to determine that. It could take anywheres from 2 to 6 or more months before the hormones start kicking in.

Cindy

[Berliegh]

Hi Foreversarah Could you post a picture that would help us a lot in debating what what with you? The hormones make some very noticeable changes even in the facial. Since you are fairly young I would imagine transitioning will have some good results. Whether you could pass with or without the hormone's, I believe a photo would greatly help us to determine that. It could take anywheres from 2 to 6 or more months before the hormones start kicking in.

Cindy

I agree with Cindy and a picture can always help to know where you are and where you want to be......HRT is useful but you have to work at it yourself to get a result and not rely soley on HRT.....

[foreversarah]

Hi

Thanks for giving me knowledge on the subject. But I don't know how to add a picture.

Sarah

Posted on: March 19, 2008, 07:15:26 AMHi

This is a guess.

[NicholeW.]

Pictures are slices of time taken from particular perspectives that may or may not tell anyone anything they can use to answer the question you ask, Sarah.

As was pointed out the effects of hrt, prior skeletal structure, etc are too darned iffy for anyone to tell you that you 'pass' or do not.

Plus, 'passing' also involves things other than simply 'looks.' There's carrying one's self, voice, size, attitude, how well or unwell someone incorporates into her life a general range of behaviors and intangibles that other people 'read' as 'female.'

I'd hold off on pics, focus on learning instead. To 'resocialize' for many is the absolute most difficult part of transitioning. No matter how she may 'look.'

Nichole

[foreversarah]

Hi

Looks like that didn't work. 



Posted on: March 19, 2008, 07:20:11 AMHi

Yeah, I've put plenty of research into this.

Comparing a 28 year old and someone 10 years younger obviously it's going to have a greater effect on the younger one but what are the major differences. I'm having worries about when to transition and how it will affect my parents and education.

Sarah

[Suzy]

Sarah, I wish you the best of luck.  If you are thinking that hormones are going to make you pass, you will be disappointed.  They do help, but only in the overall scheme of things.  FWIW, I learned to pass pre-anything.  If you can do that, hormones will only make you better.

I look forward to seeing your pic.

Peace,
Kristi

[cindybc]

 Hi Foreversarah, Apparently you do not have a photo processor like photo bucket, if not you could email the photo to me and I can re post it here for you.

Cindy

[Kate]

Plus, 'passing' also involves things other than simply 'looks.' There's carrying one's self, voice, size, attitude, how well or unwell someone incorporates into her life a general range of behaviors and intangibles that other people 'read' as 'female.'

I agree that photos are somewhat pointless. Static pictures just don't capture someone's LIFE. They don't see what real people see. And TSs especially don't see what The Public sees.

I've decided I have NO idea what makes passing possible. I really don't. It's not just looks, or "presentation," or voice or mannerisms or "female vibes."

I honestly think it's Grace. It's a gift. Magic. Not to go off the deep end here, but the only way I can explain it for myself is to say you EARN it by living truthfully. By sticking tenaciously to your fate, your destiny, to who you are. Somehow, in some inexplicable way, that seems to "allow" it to happen. It's bestowed, not created, learned or forced.

While using the bathroom at a psych's office, I happened to look up and see a sign on the wall. It said something like, "Faith isn't believing in things without proof, it's trusting without expectation..." or something to that effect. And I just had to laugh, as that's pretty much what this whole thing has been about for me.

Faith. Faith and trust that if you live truthfully, things WILL work out. Life WANTS it work out for you. Ya just gotta learn to be honest with yourself

~Kate~

[foreversarah]

Hi

Wow, I wasn't expecting this many replies.

It's helped me reach a fairly good conclusion, thanks. But perhaps I should be more concerned about coming out right now.  I just need the courage.

Sarah

[Just Mandy]

Hi Sarah,

I think you you have so many replies because the subject of passing is so near and dear to us all.

We all have questions about passing, and I still have deep concerns that I don't and never will but
a few kind girls here seem to think I do. But as Kate says, it's not one picture, it day to day, minute to
minute, it's attitude, it's demeanor, it's voice. So many things go into passing that it is overwhelming
sometimes and I REALLY admire all the girls that have done it successfully.

One thing that really helped me is makeup. I know a lot of younger GG's and TS's do not wear makeup
but I think for me anyway, the only chance I have of passing is learning to use it to hide my male flaws.

Anyway, I hope you find happiness and we all wish you the best.

Amanda

[Kate]

One thing that really helped me is makeup. I know a lot of younger GG's and TS's do not wear makeup
but I think for me anyway, the only chance I have of passing is learning to use it to hide my male flaws.

It's weird, makeup DOES seem to look great on most people, but for me... I've always thought it somehow made me look MORE male, lol. Now, maybe I'm just not using it properly, but somehow things like eyeliner just seem to "harden" my features. And foundation makes my skin look more rough (plus I hate the feel of it).

Sooo... it's just lip gloss for me

One thing I've noticed is that the more natural you are, the better you pass. Less is more. Sometimes adding TOO many feminine touches just highlights the masculine traits through contrast. I swear I'm more passable in a T-shirt and jeans without any makeup and my hair tied back than I am in a dress and heels and all done up, lol.

~Kate~

[cindybc]

Hi Amanda, You will do Ok too. You pass way more then I did when I started out. I was lucky that gaining weight and after a while on HRT made my face look more credible and projecting what I wanted people to see. Believe me I looked scary wen I stated out, a traffic stopper. "Hee, hee." I actually did stop traffic for the first time in the history of that little town I was living in. Of course the guy that was driving by had his eye balls pointing the wrong way form the direction he was driving in. I was bent over putting stuff in the back seat when  heard car tires screeching, the guy that was eyeing up my butt as he drove by nearly ran into an oncoming car. Ya there are also some fun times to be had as well.

Cindy   

[Just Mandy]

I know what you mean about makeup working for some and not others and I think it is all about
face structure and technique. It's like painting one wall of a room... you realize how bad the rest
of the room looks.

Depending on your face shape you can do things that hide your flaws that we all have. In my case I was
so worried about my forehead but after getting a lot better with highlighting and eye shadow I think
I can hide most of what I was worried about. I have pretty girlly eyebrows which always looked funny on
a male but I love them with makeup on. My eyebrows sit above my brow bone which is so wonderful for
that feminine look.

Picture removed.

With makeup I think my eyes/forehead are my most feminine feature and from the bridge up I feel I
look mostly female from any angle. But now my bad nose and chin are amplified and there is no way
to hide those with makeup. I can't win! It's going to take a rhino for me when I can afford it.

I absolutely love taking the time to do my makeup, it's one of my most enjoyable pastimes now. It's
my new hobby

Oh Cindy, thanks so much! I'd love to be in the position of having to gain weight to pass

[Tanya1]

You look GREAT and very pretty.

Your hair is so cool- is that really your real hair? because it looks wonderful!