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reintroduction

Started by michael 19 jones, March 23, 2008, 07:37:30 AM

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michael 19 jones

I'm a 20 yr old boy who is thinking that maybe he should be a girl. I've always felt female but i was sheltered very well by my mother and didn't notice any difference between how the different genders acted until it was to late. by 4th grade my fellow peers started to make fun and as the years went by, i feel into a deep depression that only i notice. from teachers, peers, and family they all thought i was a happy person. i keep everything private.
now everyone would say if you asked them about me they would say im a very kind male. i dont know how that happened and now im afraid that if i pursue this i would loose all my friends and family and go back to the depression i was in.

if you guys have any advise or gone through something like this please share it.

That was a year ago and I have recently came out onto myspace, http://www.myspace.com/amrisajones.

Sence then I've gotten a full time, permanent job working as a dishwasher at the local hospital. Pay is good.
Sorry to be gone for so long I scared my self back into the shell I was in before coming here. I'm back and I'm staying back!!!!
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mystics_rain

I hear ya sweetie. I am sure it is such a tough transition, especially the fear of losing all of everyone you love and hold close. One step at a time.

mystic
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RebeccaFog

Hi,

   I remember you.  It's good to see you back.

   I can understand how you feel about losing people and it may take a little time for you to work out a plan that you feel good about, but I'm sure you'll do alright.



Rebis
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Wing Walker

Hello, Michael, and welcome back to Susan's.  Since I didn't meet you earlier, it's nice to meet you.

Feeling like a kind male isn't all that unusual.  I'm quite a bit older than you so it took a whole lot longer for me to be able to go from a kind male to a kind woman. 

When I was about 12 or 13 I had to "buy" the gender role that society had established for those born with "Male" as their gender identifier.  I was anything but typical.  I had learned to live like my dad showed by his example.  I had a strong faith in a Supreme Being.  I also wanted the same qualities of honor, caring, generosity, and consideration as any girl would find in a boy (me) who, along with his dad, had parts of a Boy Scout and Sir Galahad inside of him.  If I had to be a male I was determined to be the best male there was, but I had my conflicts, too.

I was ready to belong to a girl as her steady when I was 13.  At 15 I was ready to commit to marriage to a high school sweetheart. I was regarded as a true friend, a good date, and, as the girls I dated said, I was a "nice guy" and "trustworthy."

Point:  Being kind and being known as kind will serve you well regardless of your gender identity.  Acts of kindness know no gender.  I had that confirmed earlier today when I was at the supermarket.

I had all of my groceries emptied from my cart onto the conveyor.  I turned to see a man who looked to be about my age (I'm 56) who had three items in his hands.  I asked him to cut in the line ahead of me.  He was thoroughly surprised and wasn't sure of what to say besides "thank you!"  He did say that "gentlepeople" are harder to find each day, and that we are from the "old school."  I smiled and bid him a fine evening, and my evening was better as a result.

My apologies for yakking too much here.  Please feel free to pm me if you so desire.

All the best,

Wing Walker
Glad I Changed Course When I Did
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