telling parents..........

[Anisha]

Hi frnds.I have been crossdressing for 2 yrs once in 2 months but lately i have gone into depression and cant sleep for the whole night and night.I am attracted towards becoming a full time but i need to tell my parents.My education grades are very bad and my parents are angry with me.But i concentrate on my studies.For the past week i have been thinking abt telling my parents .I am planning to write 2 same letters and give it to them when they r in thier room.Will it be ok to speak write to both parents together??
    Another thing is that what should i write in the letter.Can any one guide me in writing the letter??
    Im thinking to tell them on the 6th of march just after the guests in home go away.......
   
      PLzzzzzzzzzzzz help me.........

[Kate Thomas]

First things first
You must get your grades up! this is very important to your parents
you need to start therapy, this translates to you finding a gender friendly therapist.

You must do this by telephone and not email as their email is likely overloaded with requests for contact.
be sure to ask about gender identity therapy




http://gender.dysphoria.googlepages.com/home

http://www.sitarambhartia.org/default.html

Sitaram Bhartia Institute of Science & Research
B-16, Qutab Institutional Area,
New Delhi - 110016
INDIA
Ph.: +91-11-4211-1111
Fax: +91-11-2653-3027



Sitaram Bhartia Clinic
Galleria, DLF City,
Phase - IV, Gurgaon - 122002
Haryana,
INDIA
Ph.: +91-0124-413-1111


if neither of these are near you  call them anyway and ask them if they can refer you to someone near by.


Keep your grades up and plan for your future

Kate Alice

[tekla]

My education grades are very bad and my parents are angry with me.

Read these forums very carefully - few things are worse than not being able to work and make enough money to live the way you want, and the key to that is education.  People in here are on all sorts of different levels of the GID scale, and in transistion, but what seperates out those who are happy from those who tend not to be, is real employment. 

The hardest thing about being trans, is not the transistion, or even your parents, its making a living.

[Kate Thomas]

Anisha
I hope you reconsider your time line.  I think you need more time to prepare.

You must plan for the absolute worst thing to happen. The loss of your home and family.

Your parents will have many questions you need to be ready to answer these questions and direct them to resources that will help them understand.

in my humble opinion you must learn everything you can about gender identity and its treatment.


get your grades up and keep them up
find and start therapy as soon as possible
find local support groups
assemble a coming out package  for your parents 

sleep well knowing that you are in control of your future

[RebeccaFog]

Hi Anisha,

    I agree with Kate Alice about giving yourself more time before you tell your parents.  My big reason is that you haven't been sleeping.  Your judgment or wording on how to tell them may not be at it's best at this time.
    You probably really do need some rest.   Try to remember that you have no need to rush into anything.  You will want to be as strong as possible so that you do your best when it is time to tell them.
    I think writing the letter is a good idea because it will give you a chance to weigh your words and to be at your best.  You can make changes to the letter until you believe it is exactly what you'd like to say and you feel good about it.

    I'm going to ask a list of questions.  You don't have to answer any unless you want to.

    Have you seen a therapist?
    If you tell your parents, do you believe they will support you and allow you to see a therapist?
    Are there other people where you live that are transsexuals?
    What kind of support system do you have with family and friends?

    You are at a good age.  You have no need to rush into anything.  Take a little time to communicate with some of the people here and to read more.  This will give you some ideas based on other people's real life experience.
    Ask any questions that you have.  We will be happy to answer them for you.  Think of it as a way to get to know yourself better through the experiences of all those gathered here.

    Please take care of yourself.  Remember to relax a bit.  Find some way of shedding the stress you must feel.  There is no hurry.



Peace,


Rebis