After recent happens in my life with my SO I havn't wanted to post here but I do want to share with you Chaunte. I hope it will help so here go'es.
I know you have read some of the ups and down I have had with my spouse.
I do love her. She is a strong brave woman and I wish to be like her.The good news is that we are
still together and we have had a good week and more now. She now seem to except my wearing female under things all of the time.
And she said to our therapy that she is accepting me going out on occasion. but that she is still not ready to see me dressed or in makeup. I wear only woman jeans and t-shirt at home in the evenings and out on the weekend now. And that doesn't upset her. So it's going okay except now I'm beganing to thing that I am a TS and not a CD.
Okay I'm done stalling so to your question:Before I told anyone else, I did join Susan's and got lots of support, I did tell her. Why? Because it seemed that everyone was telling me here that I need to be honest with my wife and tell her. No matter what I posted about not telling, I am glad I did it was the right thing.
So I did it by giving my wife a note that gave a definition of what I am, a T.G. and told her that when she was done reading it I would answer all of her questions. Then I left the room to wait and that was very hard. When she was done we talked. Here is some of my wifes questions.
My SO was afraid I was going to leave her; she also felt she wasn't woman enough for me, that I didn't love her anymore. She was jealous of the people at Susan's. She was not a lesbian. Who would protect her? Was I going to have surgery and change my body? We talked for along time and went to bed kissing and holding each other.
It was in the days that followed that things began to and still are going down hill than back up and than down hill. You know like a roller coaster except it isn't any fun.
She is the one who went for consoling first. We do have the same therapist and we each see him separately and occasionally together. Our therapist is working hard at keeping us communicating with each other.
As someone has already said and I will repeat
Quote...........whatever you do Chaunte there will be a price that you must pay.
And I pray that you will come through this as a strong & fulfilled women.
Your TG Sister
Jillieann
