When did you realise you were the opposite gender?

[foreversarah]

Hi,

Just wondering about the general percentage of people when they realised they were in the wrong bodies. It would make an interesting statistic.

Sarah

[Kate]

I don't remember ever not knowing. I remember fragments from being 2-3, and everything about life at 4, and it was there throughout. It was crystal clear by 4ish, as that's when I really started playing with the neighbor girls and the differences became apparent.

But I wouldn't describe it as knowing I WAS the opposite sex, but just that I was born as the wrong sex and needed to somehow, someway find a way to fix that. The idea that I "was" female in some sort of ethereal, misty, soul-sense completely disconnected from the reality of being a boy never really made sense to me. I had a boy's body. I was therefore a boy. And that really made me mad and frustrated.

~Kate~

[soldierjane]

[1-10]
I'm pretty much the same as Kate, I have impressions from 2-3 and memories a bit later on when I first experienced people's rejection of my gender expression. I was a boy, but it was frustrating, confusing and painful as hell.

By the way, isn't "1-10" pretty much the same as "Always knew"?

[Sarah Louise]

I don't think you really can have an understanding of gender too early in life.  I knew from as early as I can remember that "something" was wrong.

Putting a name to it was not possible, I never even heard of the terms relating to ts until later in life.

Sarah L.

[Kate]

I don't think you really can have an understanding of gender too early in life.  I knew from as early as I can remember that "something" was wrong.

Putting a name to it was not possible, I never even heard of the terms relating to ts until later in life.

Oh, I knew. Maybe it was bit vague at 3 (as was everything), but I remember 4 ALL too well... worrying about what kindergarten was going to be like, and totally freaking that "all those other kids will see me pretending to be a boy!" It terrified me, I knew if I was amoungst THAT many people, SOMEone was going to figure me out. Plus it was humiliating and embarassing knowing I was going to have to go "as a boy." The lines weren't so distinct when playing with the neighbors, but school I knew was going to segregate us more. And once there, every day I felt dishonest, lying, "bad" and deserving punishment for being so deceptive. I rode the cars around during playtime, took my naps... all the while in a constant panic attack about it all. It was terrible, being so young and programmed to not lie and be honest, yet telling anyone would just expose me as "a dirty sick boy," and not telling made me a dishonest, bad child.

I even remember my mother taking me shopping for my first school clothes, and hating every second of buying boy things. Not that I was drawn to feminine stuff that much, but buying me boy clothes meant I WAS a boy, and that was just saddening.

I didn't know at the time other "people like me" existed or were called "transsexuals" of course, but I knew there were boys, and there were girls, and I somehow had ended up on the wrong side of the fence with a fading hope of EVER climbing over it.

~Kate~

[Sheila]

I always knew too. Just like someone else said 1-10 is the same as always knew.

[foreversarah]

Hi,

I had a reason why I chose 1-10 and Always knew... can't remember what it was though.

I'm about the same as other people here, I knew something was wrong but didn't lear about it until later on. I have memories of me doing loads of girly stuff when I was little and violence never kicked in.

Sarah

Posted on: April 08, 2008, 08:43:35 PMHi,

I remember now, I didn't phrase it very well. I was meant to say did it appear between that age group or have you always known, if that makes sense.

I chose 10-20 because I didn't know about transsexuality until that age.

Sarah

[Osiris]

10-20 because while I knew something was wrong I decided to ignore it and live in denial up until then, and I didn't know transitioning was an option until that then.

[JENNIFER]

I guess it was when all the boys rejected me and all the girls dragged me into thier circle of friendship. I was about 4 years old at the time and I knew  then that something wasn't quite as it should have been.

[NicholeW.]

I am not going to vote in your poll, Sarah. But I will answer your question.

Why not vote? Because I doubt there IS an 'opposite' gender or sex. The overlaps in behavior, looks, etc are great enough that one really cannot see what is 'opposite' about them, any of them. Black (the absence of light) White (the spectrum of light combined) those are opposites.

As for being able to define myself as female, about 10 is the first time I recall actually saying that. Although i also have recalls from age 3 or 4 that I said to Mom, "Why you don't let me be like like Cheryl?" (the friend next door.) And insisted to Mom that I was like Cheryl.

N~ 

[JENNIFER]

Nicole........ Although i also have recalls from age 3 or 4 that I said to Mom, "Why you don't let me be like like Cheryl?" (the friend next door.) And insisted to Mom that I was like Cheryl.


I hear you !!  I had battles with my mom because a cousin of my age was a frequent resident and I longed to be able to wear the clothes she wore because they look so lovelty compared to my boring dull and rough looking clothes.  Again, I was about 4 years old but I knew fashion even at that tender age 

[Natasha]

when i was 4 or so, i saw a neighbor little girl without underwear, i realized i had something extra down there, i cried!! i was a girl too but she didn't have what i had.

[foreversarah]

Hi,

I like your answer Nichole. But I think there still is a difference. You can have similarities and differences on many levels. All people are the same because we all have a head and stuff like that but we're different in terms of looks and gender.

Sarah

[JENNIFER]

when i was 4 or so, i saw a neighbor little girl without underwear, i realized i had something extra down there, i cried!! i was a girl too but she didn't have what i had.
[/quote

EXACTLY.  I had that event with my cousin.....I hated my thingy ever since 

[NicholeW.]

Hi,

I like your answer Nichole. But I think there still is a difference. You can have similarities and differences on many levels. All people are the same because we all have a head and stuff like that but we're different in terms of looks and gender.

Sarah

Thank you, Sarah. I agree there are differences among people and differences in sex (biological.) I don;t find those to be opposites. Rather I find them to be like blue to red, or green, yellow, indigo or violet -- colors in a spectrum. The absence of which makes Black, the presence of which makes White. 

Perhaps for many it is a distinction w/out a difference. For me, I think it may be the only safe passage out of the fire that is our gendering of life.

N~

[JENNIFER]

I am sorry Natasha, I have not got the hang of this site just yet, for everyone else, my comments are not a part of Natasha's contribution on this subject.  I am an idiot..sowweeeee  

[foreversarah]

Thank you, Sarah. I agree there are differences among people and differences in sex (biological.) I don;t find those to be opposites. Rather I find them to be like blue to red, or green, yellow, indigo or violet -- colors in a spectrum. The absence of which makes Black, the presence of which makes White. 

Perhaps for many it is a distinction w/out a difference. For me, I think it may be the only safe passage out of the fire that is our gendering of life.

N~

Hi,

I see that they are opposite in that there are only two, but in some cases you can argue that there is more. I'm seeing this spectrum as different stages of a transistion like a dial being pushed from male to female, or female to male.

Sarah

[Nero]

I always knew. When I first found out that I was somehow different from other boys was at the age of 4 much like Natasha, when my best friend Kenny took a leak in my backyard. I felt so confused and disturbed for the rest of the day. I didn't understand what it meant.

[Just Mandy]

My first memories are when I was about 4 or 5 when I'd beg to wear my sisters dresses around the house, it
felt so right, and I still remember how happy it made me. Eventually the novelty wore off for my sister to
dress her little brother and she stopped and it really hurt. I think it was 8 or 9 when I starting thinking that
something was really wrong with my body, it was not until later around 12 that I realized I was
a girl or had a female brain. But I never put it in those terms before then, I just knew something was amiss. Of
course I'm not sure if I knew the difference between a boy and a girl either at 8 or 9.

I don't remember this being discussed before but I was very mature for my age at 10 on par or even
exceeding other girls and especially compared to boys of the same age, I wonder if that is true with all of us? I
remember my teachers commenting on it to my parents on more than one occasion.

Amanda

[MeghanAndrews]

I put 1 - 10 because my first memories are of gender confusion. I don't remember anything before 5 I think. I remember the gender issues when I was 5, it wasn't wearing clothes or anything, it was more not being allowed to play with girls, trying to figure out why I wanted to play with them instead of the boys and then being further confused as I got older as to why I felt like I did. I don't know maybe my thought processes from the time I was born - 4 were normal boy thoughts and I got zapped by aliens on my 5th birthday and they made me TS? Lol, just kidding, but I said 1 - 10 because I don't think anyone truly knows that they've ALWAYS, from even before they can remember, were of one gender or another. I feel like I've always known, but I would clarify that statement with "as far back as I can remember." Meghan