My Boyfriend

[ConfusedMichelle]

Let me start out by saying that I truly love my boyfriend than anything else in the entire world. He accepts me for who I am, we have a lot in common, and our personalities just click.

However, lately, he'll talk about how "girly" I look.  He says "You are still gorgeous baby, just one of those really girly gay guys." 

I kinda laugh but it's starting to get to me.  Not the fact that he says it really....  It's just that he says he really doesn't mind. I believe him, really I do. But I'm scared that there is a 1% chance that in his mind, I'm not manly enough for him.

I cant start T for at least a few months, but he said I don't even have to be on T because he knows what his man really is on the inside.

I don't even know what I'm asking advice for.

I guess I just don't like him calling me girly   I know he accepts me as a male, heck I am def. the butch in our relationship but ehhh...I've tried to talk about it and he pulls out the "You know that I love my BOYFRIEND more than anything," line.

How do I put off a more masculine feel? Change my appearance? (See default picture) Do I really look that "girly?"

[Pica Pica]

your skin is probably too smooth, appearances are that you like quite male.
What I do not suggest is rubbing yourself with sandpaper like the chimney sweeps did to roughen their knees.
The fact is, if he accepts you as his boyfriend and teases you and says your girly (which he no doubt knows is a potentially dodgy area) then he is so confident in your relationship, and in his feelings to you, to make those jokes.
It's probably a good sign.

[Jay]

I agree with Pica.. about teasing you.

To me you just look like a really cute young guy.

You shouldn't try and change yourself because your boyfriend is calling you girly he oversly loves you how you are! 

[ConfusedMichelle]

Thanks for the encouragement guys

Yeah, I know he loves me.  Maybe I'm just a little too sensitive some times. 

Yall guys were a great help and Jay, you made me a blush a little 

[Nero]

You got nothing to worry bout, hon. 

[tekla]

well there are men, and some are more fem, other are more butch - women the same way.

You could try working out more, bulk up, dress tougher (more work jeans, jeans and leather jackets, more distressed (used) a bit rougher, like you don't really care about clothing or so much about how you look - dress like you don't have a mirror in your place)

[GQjoey]

I can relate 100% to how you feel about not being "manly enough". Or even doubting when he TELLS YOU you're a man to him. I identify as a straight male, but catch myself doubting I'm "man enough" for whatever "straight" female I'm with. No matter how many times they tell me, I am ALL man to them, it's ME that's insecure. It's something I'm still struggling with, but what it really comes down to is how YOU see yourself. How you feel inside, will show on the outside. As hard as it is, take his word for it when he tells you you're man enough for him.

[sneakersjay]

he sounds secure in your relationship.

I'd love to find a boyfriend.  I'm glad to see that men who aren't on T can still find men to love them.  I'd like a man to love me for who I am.

Jay

[Osiris]

I wouldn't worry about it. All guys have feminine characteristics. Your b/f is just noticing more about you and your personality and the fact that he's teasing you means he likes what he sees.

[discarded]

You look like a young guy. If you never mentioned you hadn't started 'mones yet, I wouldn't have guessed.

It's unfortunate that he'll bring up the girly factor, but try to view it from his perspective, especially if he's gay and being with a guy who hasn't transitioned yet (ie: doesn't have a lot of testosterone-induced characteristics), it's going to take getting used to. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you or is trying to be mean. Guys just say stupid ->-bleeped-<- sometimes. It may be his way of trying to get you to be more dominant and masculine since that's what he's craving. You can help by bringing down the 'femmy' factor (if it's there), but there's not much you can do, physically, except go on the hormones...then you'll get all 'bear' and he'll be like 'wtf'. HA.

Anyway, I wouldn't sweat it. You're a hot little twink (so says me and my boyfriend, who's a gay bio male).

[ConfusedMichelle]

he sounds secure in your relationship.

I'd love to find a boyfriend.  I'm glad to see that men who aren't on T can still find men to love them.  I'd like a man to love me for who I am.

Jay

It took some combing through, but he was just waiting for a man to accept him for who he is.  He isn't a slut and won't just date anybody.  I think guys would give up after a few weeks because he wouldnt give into them, but I never gave up on him. We were great friends for about a year (he knew I had a crush on him the whole time, but kept saying he wasnt ready) then finally I asked him to be my boyfriend for a second time (got rejected the first time lol) and he said yes!  9 months on April 27th longest relationship either of us have ever had by far.

You look like a young guy. If you never mentioned you hadn't started 'mones yet, I wouldn't have guessed.

It's unfortunate that he'll bring up the girly factor, but try to view it from his perspective, especially if he's gay and being with a guy who hasn't transitioned yet (ie: doesn't have a lot of testosterone-induced characteristics), it's going to take getting used to. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you or is trying to be mean. Guys just say stupid ->-bleeped-<- sometimes. It may be his way of trying to get you to be more dominant and masculine since that's what he's craving. You can help by bringing down the 'femmy' factor (if it's there), but there's not much you can do, physically, except go on the hormones...then you'll get all 'bear' and he'll be like 'wtf'. HA.

Anyway, I wouldn't sweat it. You're a hot little twink (so says me and my boyfriend, who's a gay bio male).

Lol he told me today "Man, if I were any girlier and if you were any girlier, we'd be lesbians."  I think he kinda likes the femmy thing, plus, I'm def. the butch. I do the holding, the hand grabbing, the kissing, and the initiating of other things...hehe.  Plus, he just acts VERY girly.  Not his voice or style really, but his b****y attitude lol.

Hehehehe I get called a twink all the time.  I'm not even sure I know what it means  I hope it's a good thing?

[Nero]

I think 'twink' originated as a term for little blond girly surfer types (from twinkies - the little gold cream filled thingies) and then expanded to mean any hot little pretty guy.
That's what I was told anyway.

[Jay]

I think 'twink' originated as a term for little blond girly surfer types (from twinkies - the little gold cream filled thingies) and then expanded to mean any hot little pretty guy.
That's what I was told anyway.

Yes... exactly.

[ConfusedMichelle]

So its a good thing? Lol good.

[Jay]

Yes

[ConfusedMichelle]

Hehehe. Goodness.

[Osiris]

Twink is a gay slang term for younger (late teens-early twenties) guys, or guys who look young, who are generally slender and have almost no body hair. Twink is also closely related to the term boi which describes similar guys who are more feminine.

[/human dictionary]

[ConfusedMichelle]

Hahaha then I'm def. a twink. 

I told my boyfriend about getting called a twink again and he said "It's true, I only go for the pretty guys, none of that hairy, macho man look, gross."

I guess he likes the femmy look