Just before I made the decision to transition to womanhood, I had several very lengthy and detailed conversations with my neighbour, a beautiful and very insightful creature with an instinct as sharp as any surgical blade.
She spoke of the mythical line that we are all told during our childhood never to cross for fear of .....well........of any nasty outcomes you might think of. I spoke of the horrors and torment of being ridiculed by people because i would be pointed at, shouted at, abused, ignored, excommunicated, attacked....the list was extensive.
In my situation, circumstances came together in such a way that any obstacles I had simply disappeared. I no longer had a job hence no in work transition problems, I had not seen any of my birth family for 30+ yrs therefore I had no reason to consider their opinions or feeling, my friends pre-stroke had deserted me and in all, I was as free as I could ever be to cross that line and start living the way I had been destined.
QuoteI'm getting close to telling someone else who is very nice to me. Once again, someone I barely see, but whatever.
......'but whatever' are the key words here. Why not tell those nice people? You got to face it eventually and if it goes badly, then you learn from it and try again but it's no reason not to transition is it?
Eventually, my friend asked me what was holding me back. Fear was my reply. Spell it she said. F E A R. She then spelt it out in her magial way....F.alse E.xpectations A.gainst R.eality.......
That was the moment I decided to transition. Within a week, I had formally and legally changed my name, my papers were altered for tax and benefit reasons, voting records, credit agreements, student records, the list was lengthy but those actions helped confirm in my own mind that I was now a new person, a true to myself person and nothing would hold me back anymore.
This thread was about openness, and what better way to handle transition than being open with yourself. If you are at peace with your own decision to transition, then surely others shall see that you mean business, stealth is good for some situations sometimes personal safety demands it but sometimes, nothing can prevent your past being uncovered, e.g., job applications require references from previous employers or if young, school records come into the picture. Passport applications require proof of who you are via birth documents, your medical records will have your new name and perhaps your chosen gender but will ALWAYS keep a record of your medical history in your birth gender.
During the early months following transition, I was swept up by a wave of experimentation, testing myself with clothes, make-up, hair etc., but unlike pre transition, it was no longer a dream or a fantasy, it became real life and wowee, a huge change of attitude followed. I realised very quickly how real women aproached their appearance. A real ( genetic ) woman follows fashion like a slave, unavoidable reality and not how a former male might have seen things. Clothes for work, clothes for play, clothes for whatever...then there are the shoes that go with each item and situation, then the make-up has to be siutable for the clothes and the reasons for wearing them, then the handbag, ear rings, finger rings, bangles, legwear, heck, a womans life is such a wonderful thing to have but all of this can only happen if you take that first step across the mythical line and you tackle the 'FEAR' that stops many of us from beginning transition in the first place......
